


When Wind and Rain Collide

by kbello



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Changing POV, Common enemy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kylo has dirty thoughts, Non-Graphic Violence, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey just wants a cookie, Semi-Slow Burn, Sexual Tension, Wingman BB-8, Yes one of these again, force massage, seriously the tension is out of control
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-05 09:22:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 54,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbello/pseuds/kbello
Summary: After an alarming connection is discovered, Skywalker refuses to complete Rey's training, leaving her unwanted and lost. The Supreme Leader reveals a plan that terrifies Kylo Ren to his core. In order to save himself, he extends a proposition to Rey that is intriguing enough to consider.Two broken souls with differing paths find a common enemy and unexpected allies.*Post-Force Awakens.





	1. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first attempt at a Star Wars fic. Many apologies for any inaccuracies- please feel free to let me know what you think. *Pre TLJ
> 
> BASICALLY I have no idea what I'm doing. Let us go on this rollercoaster ride together.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to leave me feedback.

Fingernails gripped the leather handle of the steering controls, a line of sweat threatening the hair line of her neck despite the cold air blowing from the vent and directly into her face. She bit at her fingernail for the eleventh time, tugging and ripping until she felt the familiar sting and decided to switch her attention to a different nail. It was a nasty habit, sure, but it was the only control she could find.

This would be the second time she had made this trip- this time, she would be alone. 

The first time ended in the strongest rejection she had ever experienced. She was so filled with hope, her stomach doing somersaults the first time she saw the blue planet, the vast ocean filling her vision as her ship descended. The island came into view after dipping into the atmosphere and coasting high above the waves, her eyes full of excitement and hope. 

She was unsure of what to expect. Would he know she was coming? What would he look like? 

She thought of the woman she had recently met, his sister, and wondered if his hair would be the same peppered color, his eyes full of the same warmth and strength from experience. She wondered how he would greet her, if he would willingly accept her under his wing. Would she feel the same acceptance she had felt from the Resistance since she had left Jakku? 

Her mind wandered to a gruff smile of a man, the one who had first given her this feeling of belonging. The first person who made her feel she had worth. 

_”You’re Han Solo!”_

_“I used to be…”_

There was a heaviness to her chest, a tightness to her throat. 

A traitorous tear slid down her check, a slick trail along her stone face.

No. She wouldn’t allow herself to think of that moment. She refused to remember the sudden stillness of the air, the sudden darkness that surrounded, encompassed them… The flash of red behind dark, wrathful eyes.

She swallowed, eyes narrowing as she brushed the tear, along with the memory, away.

As the ship glided, she spotted the island and tipped the controls to prepare for descent. Her small shuttle landed with a light thud and she swung a clenched fist towards her chest in a small pump of victory. In the days leading up to her first trip, she had been practicing her flight skills with the pilot, Poe Dameron, in preparation for her flight. He was impressed with her knowledge of the inner workings of the Resistance ships at the docking bay, and she couldn’t help but take pride in her talent as she put it to good use. The wookie, looming next to her copilot chair, gave her a nod of approval.

The thud of her boots against the stone steps were almost drowned out by the rush of waves from all around. The wookie stayed behind, waiting for her signal to return to the Resistance base. Her heart pounded in her chest, excitement coursing through her as she made her trek towards the top of the rock, weaving up the cliffside. There was a prickle in her core, an almost static pulse that guided her. It was a foreign feeling, something she had only ever felt once before. Someone, or _something_ was calling to her, beckoning her forward and up each stone step. She felt as if she were floating, one foot rising above the other, the anticipation and feeling of invincible strength her driving force.

He was there. How she knew, she wasn’t quite sure, but he was there and knew she was coming.

A silhouette, dark against the dull blue of the atmosphere, stood atop the jutting ridge. His cloak was drawn and, despite the dark shadow masking his features, the bristly grey of his beard was visible. The hairs on her arms stood suddenly, a burst of static springing her pores to life.

She breathed deeply and mustered her courage to reach into her bag and pull out the cylindrical weapon, the metal cold in her outstretched hand. She was unsure how long she held out the lightsaber to him, his stoic frame motionless. He showed no emotion, no surprise towards her sudden appearance. The sound of the ship must have given away her arrival in which she was thankful. She did not want to intrude his space and saw her slow approach as the knock on his door. He lowered the hood of his cloak, his answer to her greeting. 

His eyes locked on the lightsaber in her outstretched hand.

As she drew in a short breath, readying herself to repeat her introduction as she had repeatedly rehearsed on the trip to the planet, he quickly and suddenly turned his back to her again.

She lowered the weapon and held it at her side as she stared, puzzled at his response. A few beats, another quick breath, and a sharp voice nipped across the wind before she even had a chance to begin.

“Leave. Do not return.”

With four simple words, Luke Skywalker had left her broken.

She wished she had the courage to continue. She wished she had told him of her adventure and discoveries, of her sudden awakening within her very core. She wished she had been assertive in her plea for his aid and his knowledge. 

Instead she turned and flew back down the stone steps, her pride begging for the safe enclosure of the ship. There was a ringing in her ears as she found her seat again, ignoring the questioning glances from the wookie. She didn’t look towards him or speak to him but instead gathered her hands on the controls as the ship whirred to life and began ascension. The island grew smaller and smaller outside her window, but she refused to look back.

As soon as they hit hyperspace, the sting that had caught in her throat finally escaped. Her teeth clenched and her tunic felt suddenly too tight for her chest. 

She was unwanted. No matter where she went, she would be unwanted.

_Of course… Of course he doesn’t want me._

Her small frame began to shake, and she barely felt the warmth of the furry hand gripping her shoulder to hold her still.

A month passed. She spent her time in seclusion, sitting in the lush valley next to the Resistance base during the day and alone in her room at night. When she wasn’t alone, she was next to the medical pod that had swallowed the broken form of her dear friend. 

Day in and day out, she remained hollow and barely spoke. She followed the same routine, shuffling along the hallways with occasional murmurs of assurance that she was fine and she did _not_ want to talk about it.

Poe was the first to bring his concerns to the General. 

“She needs his guidance.”

“We cannot force him to train her. Not since…” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Not since last time.”

“But think about her potential! She’s already shown her strength- just imagine if she had his guidance. Don’t mind my frankness, General, but the Resistance needs her. _You_ need her.”

The General, as poised and prepared as always, stood visibly exhausted. There was a new darkness beneath her eyes, seeping through the mask of responsibility that she wore.

Poe reached to grasp her elbow as he noticed these details, a steady anchor to another wave the General would have to overcome.

“We will send her again- alone this time. She will need to be ready to show her strength to him,” she sighed. “My brother may be stubborn, but so am I. He will take her this time, and you will help her get ready.”

Looking back, Rey was thankful for her friend Poe Dameron. 

He had been given the tough assignment of following around the shell she had left herself, the pains of her past edging into her new wounds left from her short encounter with Skywalker. Over the course of several weeks, he reminded her of the fight within herself, of the physical and emotional pain left over from the encounter on the ice of Starkiller base. He reminded her of their mutual friend lying in the medical wing with bacta patches on his back and a fire within. This was enough to fuel her own spark, albeit a small flame, but enough to drive her back into the game. He was unsure of what Rey had experienced in life to cause her to feel so abandoned, but he knew it was enough to drive her forward.

As she began her solo descent back onto the island that Skywalker inhabited, she was now fully ready. There was a cause placed to her back, a group of people who knew she was of worth and was needed. She was ready this time as she climbed the stone steps a second time, the force tingling once again at the edge of her skin as she approached the hidden Jedi of legend.

“Luke Skywalker,” the word escaping her lips with ease. 

Her jaw was set, refusing to lower her newfound confidence.

“We have a common enemy and you will help me defeat him.”

Blue eyes met hers once again, and this time they did not turn away.  
________ 

 

Over the course of several weeks, Rey came to understand the hesitance of her new instructor. 

At first, he was made of the same stone as the island, firm and unmoving. He cast a shadow that was impenetrable, a history that he refused to let be uncovered. Many nights she spent by the fire, watching him turn the salty catch from the ocean that would be their fuel after a long day of training. He showed her the beginnings of meditation and the first frames for combat, sans lightsaber. The moment he agreed to her trainings, he kept the weapon attached to his own belt. She noted, however, that he had not touched it since her arrival.

One morning, this had changed.

After quickly scraping out the last of her breakfast from the wooden bowl, they began their morning meditations. Her head felt as clear as it had been for a long time, the coldness and frozen fears from her recent battles leaving behind a calm strength of focus. A grain of sand materialized in her mind, as it always did, catching the light until it grew into a blinding warmth within her core. She basked in it’s rays, gathering around and consuming her in a blanket of the Force. It tingled through every piece of her, a pulse radiating in waves that mimicked the ocean below the rocky cliff she sat upon. It was the beginning of a relationship with her own energy, understanding the true power behind what was hidden within. 

She was unsure how long she stayed in this focused meditation. Once she realized the absence of Skywalker’s own energy that usually rested next to her own, she began to slowly open her eyes. Before her, on the ground next to her crossed legs, was the lightsaber he usually kept attached to his side. A genuine smile spread across her lips, the first she had experienced in quite some time.

Quickly, she grabbed the weapon in her hand as if it would disappear, grasping the hilt and squeezing her fingertips into the smooth metal as she rose and stood next to the edge of the cliff. A thrill began clawing it’s way up her spine as her thumb pressed into the red button.

A blue light, a heavy sigh.

She went through the positions Skywalker had shown her, alternating as she swung the weapon through the air, the blue light bright behind her eyelids she held closed tightly. The hum of the lightsaber joined with the buzzing energy from her fingertips as she twisted her body and twirled the blade high above her head and arcing back down to hover just above the ground. 

It reminded her of her days on Jakku as she swung her staff for protection against other scavengers or those with ill intentions. However, this felt different from her staff- it wasn’t a weapon for protection but instead an extension of herself, an extra limb stretching and pulling her energy.

It felt like it had always been a part of her, finding home in her hands.

Luke stood in the darkness inside his stone hut below, watching as his apprentice circulated between the forms he had shown her, her body moving with a fluidity that came so naturally.

_His apprentice?_

He wasn’t so sure. She had arrived at his island a second time, a purpose burning from within. The power of the Force emanating from her scared him. He felt her coming before he had first heard the rush of her ship, a sudden static pull that twisted his stomach. The child was persistent and refused to leave no matter how many times he denied her his knowledge. He found her each night resting on the top of the stone steps, staring out into the ocean, letting the salty breeze kiss her face and nip at her cheeks as the light faded from the day. 

Despite his refusal and his new tactic of turning a cold shoulder to the girl, he still found her each night resting her head in her hands, exhaustion pulling her into a trance as she stared out into the horizon. When he stole a quick glance, tipping his range towards her to get a sense of her state, he was surprised to find a sense of contentedness sweeping from her. He watched as she began to nod off, her head bobbing slightly in her hand as sleep began to take over her balanced elbow on her knee. 

When she woke several minutes later, a bowl of warm stew sat next to her on the stone step.

It was his first gesture towards her. One that he would come to regret, realizing his mistake.

If you feed a lost animal, they will come to rely on you for more.

He now stood, weeks later, watching her from his hut as she practiced with the lightsaber.  
_His_ lightsaber. He couldn’t push away the rising pride that grew in his chest. 

The sun ran high, and he decided to take a nap. When he rose several hours later, he found her rotating the same routine. Her toned arms began to shake slightly, swinging the weapon as she turned between positions. It was surprising how heavy a lightsaber could be after a long day of training.

He scratched at his beard with his mechanical hand, rising from the entrance to his hut to meet her at her side.

“That’s enough, child,” his voice rough from sleep. “Take your rest now.”

She held the final position, the blue blade humming just above the cracked stone beneath her worn shoes. A huff of air and her set shoulders deflated, her finger deactivating the weapon and she turned to him.

He knew she was trying to impress him, showing him a discipline that would prove her dedication to his teachings. Although he felt a pull towards her and wanted desperately to place a guiding hand to her shoulder, he quickly tucked away his paternal instincts and decided to return to his hut.

Rey felt his leave and leaned against the stone next to her. It felt rough against the sweat of her skin, scratching as her ragged breath caused her to rub against it uncomfortably. She needed to cool down and decided to go for a swim. The need to feel the chill of the water was her motivation as she peeled off her arm wraps, lowering her belt and stripping the billows of fabric until she was left in her pants and tunic. She let her bare feet guide her down the stone steps until she reached an edge that would be close enough to the water. Letting her arms guide her, she dove until she felt the cold ocean engulf her, filling her senses and filling her heart.

How long had she dreamed of this ocean as a child?

As she rose to the surface, kicking her strong legs as she moved, she reveled in the waves pushing against her. She allowed the water to embrace her body, rocking her as she floated on her back. The sun beat down on her face, the salt tingling her skin, and she felt at home.

After a few moments of relief, she opened her eyes and realized that she had floated a distance away from the island. Kicking her legs back underneath her, she took a deep breath and began swimming towards the rocky shore. She pumped her arms against the waves, her feet fluttering lightly behind her. 

The wind began to pick up and she looked towards the sky. A series of dark clouds gathered in the distance, a promise of a rain shower in their path. With this new motivation, she added a strength behind her strokes despite the burn in her muscles from her full day of training. The waves were picking up too, pushing against her as she struggled to gain momentum.

Each time she stole a glance at the island, it felt as though she was moving further and further away. Irritated, she flipped her body and attempted a backstroke in an effort to rest her aching arms. She kicked furiously, trying to propel herself in the direction of the island as the sea battered against her sides. An unexpected swell pushed her to the side and rolled over her body, causing her to tumble and lose sense of direction. Her arms stretched out around her, her legs bending and kicking like a frog as she desperately searched for the surface. Once the air broke around her face, she felt the droplets of rain from above. She gasped, trying to steady her breathing as she whipped around, searching for the direction of land. 

The rain broke into a steady stream, a sudden sheet of grey blocking her from the island to her right. She was much closer, but the waves began pushing against her efforts. Her heart pounded in her ears, the water pushing against her face as she gulped for air. She accidentally inhaled, the salt burning as it ripped down her chest. 

_Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t… Panic. Panic._

A crack of thunder, a flash of red behind her eyelids.

Was she losing her grip with exhaustion? She was unsure. Her body still rushed with adrenaline, but she felt as though she were floating.

Another flash of red.

She couldn’t see anything but this red. A burning fury. A storm.

She was suddenly filled with a deep rage that ran like fire through her veins. It coursed through her, spreading and weaving as a dark smoke curled around the edges of her consciousness.

_Find it. Destroy it._

The words had no voice, no whisper, but were burned into her mind. 

_Destroy. Kill. **Kill.**_

The sound of her pounding heartbeat grew louder and louder, each thud increasing in pitch until it she swore that is resembled a scream. Was it her own? She wasn’t sure of anything. It was as though all of her senses were suddenly overloaded.

She was unsure how long this continued, unsure of what has happening. Her mind was wiped clear. She couldn’t remember where she was, unaware if she was drowning or sleeping. All she could focus on was the piercing cry in her mind.

Something tugged her upward and she was suddenly aware of a hard surface beneath her cheek. A deep cough erupted from her, the sudden cold wind on her skin shifting her attention to the present as the scream began to fade away. She gasped, desperate for air, but each breath brought daggers to her throat and chest. She propped her knees up underneath her, trying her best to push her hands against the ground so she could lift her head. Free strands of her hair dangled around her face, dripping, and as she wiped them away with the back of her hand she realized her vision was returning. The flashes of red were gone along with the rage that burned through her core. She strained against the pelting rain as she peered upward into the hovering eyes of Skywalker who was crouching, his hands hovering near her shoulders. He must have used the Force to pull her onto the rocky shore.

His blue eyes roamed her face, searching… She could feel his energy stretching towards the edges of her mind, probing, and she instantly tried to steel her expression. However, she couldn’t mask the terror within, her shaking arms betraying her. While the moment had passed, the shock from what she saw and felt still lingered, and she knew he could sense it.

“Wha-“ she rasped, coughing again. “What is happening to me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so nervous, guys. 
> 
> I'm trying to pump out as much as I can before TLJ since that will probably change our focus on the storyline as we learn more about the characters. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave any feedback. 
> 
> Like I said, I'm new to writing Star Wars so I appreciate any time you put into reading this.


	2. Electric

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Kylo has me all kinds of nervous. But I'm excited to introduce differing POV.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Fingers clenched into fists, the leather of the gloves rippling under the pressure. This was the only outward sign of his anxious tension he held within. He willed his tall frame to continue to stand, steady and waiting. 

A roll of his shoulders, one last deep breath as his chest rose and fell, and the door to the elevator compartment flew open with a hiss.

The room was much darker, the far walls radiating a deep red, a wall of blood, and he felt his eyes having to adjust to the lighting. He willed his body forward and forced a lofty stride, straightening his spine with each step as he crossed the walkway. 

_Breathe in… Feel your strength.  
Breathe out… Let it guide you._

An enormous throne made of a solid grey stone sat at the end of the circular hall and rose into the high, dark ceiling. Menacing, staring him down, similarly to the ghostly figure that claimed the seat. He stopped a respectable distance from his master, immediately kneeling and lowering his gaze. As he did so, he noted the four royal guards perched on either side of the throne- red pillars of strength. They each stood with a force pike in hand, motionless and watching.

“Kylo Ren.”

The voice was more of a rumbling growl, echoing across the black marbled floor. The greeting was expected, but Kylo still found himself jump at the sound. He willed the pace of his heart to slow, thankful for the hidden security of his chrome mask.

“We have been expecting you.” 

“Apologies, Supreme Leader,” he murmured, his voice a mechanical drone. One more feature that he could keep safely under his control.

“My advisors inform me that you have been medically cleared.”

Kylo nodded.

It was true- recently so. Two weeks he was left in the med wing after the attack on Starkiller base, bedridden for the first few days and pacing restlessly once he was permitted to be back on his feet. Before his wounds showed promise of healing, and after making several intimidating threats to his nurses who no longer frequented his room, he was prematurely released to continue his duties. 

Kylo had just left the medical bay to have his bandages changed when he was beckoned by his master. He leapt from the table, partially tearing the fresh bacta applied to the large gash in his shoulder, and tugged on the rest of his uniform before barreling down the corridor. 

Remembering this, he felt a responding throb from his wounds, angry from their disturbance. He was glad for the pain, knowing he could use it in what was to come.

“Good.”

Snoke motioned for him to rise and as he obeyed, Kylo felt a sudden tug at his center that pulled his attention to a metallic object resting on the floor halfway between himself and the throne. 

“Now,” his master bellowed, returning his attention, “we may continue your training.”

A weapon slid across the floor towards Kylo’s feet. He reached forward, grabbing the familiar electroblade that he used during each training session. As if following a silent cue, two of the Praetorian guards, one from each of Snoke’s sides, glided forward, honing in on their prey with force pikes in hand. Kylo sprung into action, the strange blade humming and its grip vibrating in his hand.

As the first guard approached, Kylo held his weapon high and engaged the stab of the guard’s force pike. He shoved against him, pushing the guard backwards and slashing sideways as the blade engaged the guard at his chest. As the man stumbled to the ground, the electroblade sending a shock through the red robes, Kylo continued his swing as he whirled around to slice at the second guard. Although his training weapon would never physically cut his opponents, it would at least deal an electrical jolt that would temporarily paralyze. It wasn’t as satisfying as the smooth cauterization of his saber, but he would have to make do.

The second guard fell to the ground with a loud thud, shaking at Kylo’s feet. The Supreme Leader offered a small nod of approval.

“Again.”

Two more emerged from their posts, one approaching him from each side, their plastiod helmets mirroring his own expressionless mask. He briefly wondered if they shielded their own clenched teeth just as he did when they engaged in combat.

The guard to his right wielded a dual-bladed polearm, swiveling his weapon as he charged and aimed towards his torso. Kylo bent his knees, exhaling as he ran towards the man and swung sideways, crashing against the man’s blade on one end as the guard twirled the weapon defensively. As Kylo sliced at his attacker who met each blow with a turn of his pole, he turned one hand towards the second guard, gripping and honing the force, curling his fingers. The second guard froze and Kylo continued his swinging, sweat beginning to pool on his hairline and drip down his face. The salt of it burned as it trailed down the healing wound along his cheek. The slight pain was bearable compared to the gnawing ache emanating from his shoulder wound. He glowered at the irritation.

He shuffled backwards as the first guard gained ground, Kylo backing with each step as their movements echoed against the cold floor and walls. Their weapons clanged under the strength of their swings and Kylo abruptly shifted his weight, seizing the opportunity as the guard lifted for another strike. Gritting his teeth, Kylo kicked furiously at the man’s chest, spinning sideways to block any counter-attack. The man fell back, his polearm crashing next to him against the solid, dark floor. He hovered above his opponent, raising his blade high above as he gripped the handle with both hands, setting a wide stance as he prepared to slash. 

There was a white flash- a sudden loss of feeling to his hands. Fire ran through his veins, a tremor tingling as his limbs began to shake, the weapon falling from his loose fingers. 

“Fight through it.”

Although his eyes were squeezed tightly, he knew the source of his pain. He knew how his master’s arm outstretched towards his, the electric charge escaping his fingertips and extending its control across his own body. 

“Find your control,” Snoke growled from his perch. 

Kylo bit the inside of his cheek, a metallic taste seeping across his tongue and down his throat. His breath hitched, his head light as his vision began to spin. He was unsure if he had opened his eyes, the darkness beginning to swirl, almost tangible outside his reach.

He heard movement- the guards beginning to close in on him once more. The shock that ran through him ignited his entire body, every inch alight with flame. It were as though a needle stabbed each pore of his skin.

The anger, the rage began to build- a second fire igniting in his center. The familiar whispers began, light in his ear.

He pulled on the darkness, letting it flow through him, dragging it to fuel his will. His throat grew raw from his ragged breaths as he finally broke through, his body tingling as his master ended his torturous hold. Kylo ducked the moment the two guard charged towards him, knocking the first to the ground as he sliced at his stomach. The second he pulled forward with the Force, grasping him by the throat as his windpipe crunched beneath his gloved hand. Once the man finally went limp, unconscious, Kylo dropped him to the ground. 

Sweat now ran freely down his neck and into his robes, his chest quickly rising and falling from exertion. The throb in his shoulder now an agonizing burn, pulsing with each beat of his racing heart. He fell to one knee.

“Find your pain,” came his master’s voice once more. “Rise from beneath it.”

A set of footsteps, followed by another, and he knew two more guards were approaching. His muscles ached as he raised his hands to hold the opponents with the Force, arms shaking as his muscles ached and threatened to fail him.

 _Lazy… Weak._ The whispers continued.

Another flash of white. This time, he willed his eyes to stay open, refusing to hide from the fresh shockwave coursing his body. The guards closed in on the space between them, free from his hold as they raised their blades. Kylo was struck on the side, breath escaping as he fell, using his elbow to brace his landing. The next strike fell alongside his head and a ringing filled his ears.

_Panic. Panic…_

There was a presence beyond the darkness that now encompassed his mind, a presence just out of reach. As if noticing his sudden distraction, his master outstretched a second hand to enforce a second blow of electricity. His heavy eyelids flew open, white and red beginning to swirl. 

He hated his body, hated that he showed weakness. The rage built within him, growing and spreading. It pushed against the electricity from his master, working its way out from the inside until he felt he would burst. His teeth bared, the blood from the bites on the inside of his cheeks running along his chin.

A primal shriek erupted from his lips, modulated from his helmet, as he suddenly rose from the floor. He threw his arm to the side, throwing back both guards as they fell to the ground. Remembering the metal object that lay at his master’s feet, he used his other hand to call the object to him. A buzz, a warmth spread through his arm. 

His lightsaber.

Pressing the release, two loud cracks rang through the still air. He rounded on his opponents, one guard attempting to scramble to her feet. His leather glove grabbed at her crimson robes, yanking her backwards as he sliced his saber across her torso. Her scream sent a second wave of adrenaline through him, every inch of his skin alive as his heart continued to pound.

_Destroy… Kill them all._

Kylo approached the final guard, slicing off both of the man’s arms as he raised them in defense. The cries send another tremor down Kylo’s spine as he stretched his muscles, rising high into the air and crashing down on the helpless body. He continued, over and over again, slashing and hacking, each swing of his saber bringing a fullness to him… The darkness, rising to fill every crevice. 

A deep chuckle finally caught Kylo’s attention. He was unsure how long he continued his attack, his arms and legs shaking, control of his shoulder giving way. He finally lowered his weapon, turning to face his master as his stance wavered from exhaustion.

“…again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than the last chapter, but the ending felt right. I wanted to post chapter 1 and 2 together because, I don't know about you, but I like a larger taste of a fic before I commit.
> 
> Chapter 3 is in the works, and that is where the plot will begin to pick up. I'm pretty excited about it.
> 
> Please feel free to leave me feedback. I don't share my work anywhere else but here, so I really enjoy hearing what you think.


	3. Dance

Red, watering eyes glared through the forward window of the cockpit. She wiped her nose clumsily with her hand, her skin almost numb to the touch as her body felt distant, disconnected. 

It had been another sleepless night, one of many, too many for her to reliably count. This time, she did not shed a tear as Luke Skywalker shunned and banished her from his planet. She understood as he pushed away when she reached towards him in the rain, lying upon the harsh stone as her mind swirled with screaming and flashes of red.

Something had overtaken her, pulled at her consciousness. There was a fury within her veins, seeping through as Skywalker timidly searched her mind through the Force. She knew he could feel it, that he could see the creeping darkness curling on the edges. The horror ripping through him must have mirrored her own. She didn’t blame him when he scrambled backwards, pushing away from her reaching hand as she grasped for an anchor, drowning in the darkness.

Then quickly, suddenly, the vision left her. She would have thought it a nightmare if it weren’t for the metallic taste that lingered across her tongue.

He permitted her to stay long enough to rest a few days, although rest never came. Her body, worn and exhausted equally from her perilous swim and the haunting vision, was denied the proper sleep it desperately needed. Her clouded mind continued to race, staring endlessly, waiting for an explanation.

Skywalker did not utter a word and stayed huddled in his own hut, maintaining his distance. Each time he brought her a meal, glancing warily as he would place the bowl in her doorway. She knew she terrified him, reminding him of the horrors he witnessed all those years ago when his nephew betrayed him. She would only be another failure to him.

When it came time for her to return to the Resistance Base he stood atop his stone island, the heavy hood of his cloak shielding his eyes. She felt him watch as she left, his gaze his only offer of goodbye. Her time with him, her trainings, all so suddenly erased, meaningless.

Back at the base, she was met with a warm welcome. Finn, finally recovering from his coma, ran to embrace his friend the moment she stepped off the exit ramp of her shuttle. Her heart felt full momentarily and she felt herself genuinely smile. 

As the days passed, she searched for a new purpose to keep herself busy. While Skywalker allowed Rey to keep his lightsaber, she kept it locked away in her trunk underneath her barracks bed. She refused to think about it as much as she yearned to hold it, to continue practicing her formations. No matter how the weapon beckoned her at night as she lie atop the course wool blanket, she continued tossing and turning restlessly as she ignored its call.

The only solace she found was in meditation. She began the routine of gathering her breakfast before the first light in order to avoid curious stares and questions and carrying it on her long trek outside. After several paces through the brush next to the base and into the brown umber of the forest, feet rustling through fallen leaves, she approached a clearing in the trees- a space she had discovered during her first weeks on the planet. It was the perfect distance, close enough to hear any goings-on at the base but far enough to provide privacy. Enough for her to enjoy her breakfast alone and practice her meditations without interruption.

One morning, however, she sensed that someone had discovered her secret.

“Rey.”

She sat cross-legged atop a flattened boulder, a pear resting in her lap as she squinted one eye open. Poe stood at the edge of the clearing, not far from where she sat. She straightened her posture as he approached, grasping the firm pear as she pulled out a small pocketknife tucked into her belt, cutting a generous slice before popping it into her mouth.

He grunted as he awkwardly lifted himself to the top of the stone, plopping down next to her.

“How in the heck did you get up here so easily?” he huffed.

She wiped the juice escaping the side of her lips and glared sideways at her intruder. “How long have you been watching me?”

“Oh, I was just out for my morning hike,” he lied, blatantly. “I come here all the time.”

“Sure you do.”

The two sat in silence for a moment as they watched the sun begin to rise in the distance. She continued munching on her pear, taking an occasional sip from her canteen. A rustling in the bushes beneath a tree caught her attention momentarily.

Poe coughed suddenly, returning her attention.

“How are you doing, kid?”

“I’ve told you, I’m not a kid,” she said, tossing the core of the pear onto the ground as she returned her knife. “But I’m doing fine.”

He shifted, turning slightly more to face her. “Are you sure? You know you can talk to us. You’ve barely spoken to anyone since you’ve been back.”

She shrugged, shuffling her feet out from underneath her to let them dangle over the edge of the rock.

“You look terrible,” he continued, leaning forward in attempt to look into her eyes. “When was the last time you slept?”

“Last night,” she mumbled under her breath. It was her turn to lie.

“I followed you, Rey. I know you’ve been coming out here every morning, way before anyone should be awake. Can you just look at me?” 

She ignored his request, continuing to watch the edge of the clearing. “I thought you were on a hike?”

Sighing in frustration, he placed his hands in his lap. 

“Look- you don’t have to tell us what’s wrong, but you can’t continue walking around here like a moof milker all day. Enough is enough, alright? You’re too important for this. The Resistance needs you,” he pleaded. “Your friends need you.”

A lump threatened her throat and she quickly swallowed, pushing it down.

“Who sent you after me?” She eyed him.

“No one.”

“Then who followed you?”

“…no one,” he replied hesitantly.

She leaned closely, reading his innocent expression, his eyes wide as he held her stare.

Without looking away, she yelled over her shoulder to the moving brush in the distance.

“Come out, Finn. I know you’re there.”

As if on cue, the man came stumbling out of the foliage, random sticks and leaves jutting from his hair and sticking to his clothes. He wiped away what was stuck to the front of his jacket as he approached, a sheepish grin slapped on his face.

“Oh! Hey Rey. I didn’t know… you were…” he trailed off, noticing the lack of amusement as she glowered down at him.

“You two have been spying on me!” 

“Not spying!” Finn held up his hands, sensing her irritation. “We were just observing. From a distance. With or without permission.”

Poe shot him a glare and Finn froze where he stood.

“Alright, call it what you will,” Finn said with a roll of his eyes, “but we’re concerned about you. We all are.”

He stepped closer, leaning against the rock next to where her feet dangled. 

Although she was annoyed by their lack of privacy, she felt a sense of warmth by their gesture, having someone who cares close by. To have such a support system was so foreign to her and she was unsure how to respond.

She absently twirled the long flap of her tunic around her finger.

“Something happened on Ahch-To. Something… I can’t explain,” she said finally, their attention drawn entirely to her as she spoke. 

Poe reached out, placing a warm hand to her shoulder. “Try us.”

“I can’t,” she choked unexpectedly, the words catching in her throat. She took a deep breath, willing away the tears as she cursed inwardly. “But it haunts me. I can’t sleep because I’m too afraid of what I might see.”

The two men exchanged glances for a moment, an unspoken conversation as she put her face in her hands. 

She was helpless and she absolutely despised feeling helpless. She thought of herself as a child on Jakku and how, for a time, she spent her nights in tears as she wished upon each and every star for someone to come back and save her. 

No one ever came. She had to fight to survive on her own. All of those years she stood her ground, searching and fighting and _surviving._ She was even able to best this powerful creature in a mask who continued to hunt her.

But this time was different. 

_How can you fight against your own mind?_

The heaviness grew in her eyes as she began to rub them, lost in her thoughts. She forgot about her friends who stood by, watching over her with concern. She barely noticed the heaviness suddenly placed around her shoulders, her body being lifted from where she sat. Time began to slip as she was swept away. 

She didn’t realize what had happened until she awoke hours later in her bed, her body tucked underneath Finn’s warm jacket.

Blinking several times, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness, she realized she was back in the barracks. The sun was beginning to set outside the window- somehow she had slept the day away. Tugging off the jacket, she stretched her arms and legs, basking in the glorious feeling of releasing tension from her muscles. As her arms fell back down to her sides, her hand landed on a piece of paper folded neatly next her on the bed. She slowly peeled the note open, fingers still slow with sleep. The words were scrawled in an untidy line.

 _Meet us after sundown. The hangar._  
______________________

Bursting from her quarters, tugging on her worn boots as she rounded the corner, she hobbled her way to the hangar to see a group of people huddled around a shuttle in the far corner. She saw some familiar faces- some mechanics and pilots who worked alongside Poe’s squad. Finn stood with his back to her and she hung his jacket back across his shoulders. He jumped from the touch, startled until he turned towards her and smiled. 

“You made it!” he said, scooping her enthusiastically into a hug. “Feel any better?”

She caught her breath as he placed her back down on her feet. “A little.”

While she was thankful for a solid sleep, she knew her body would need more rest. The gnawing stabs of hunger rippling through her, however, were becoming her main priority.

“I’m starving.”

Poe appeared, popping his head out from inside the shuttle as it whirred to life. 

“Climb on in,” he beamed. “I know just the place you need.”

The ride in the shuttle was relatively short once they reached hyperspace. Rey observed the lights of the city shining and dancing as Poe landed their shuttle in a nearby port. They were sure to conceal any evidence that would reveal their Resistance ties, Finn and the others leaving their jackets with Resistance patches behind. Poe handed the station guard a lump of credits to ward off any wandering eyes near their shuttle. 

He leaned down to whisper to her as they began to walk. “Can never be too careful. You never know who you’ll run into out here.”

“It sounds like you come here often,” she smirked. “Speaking of, why in the world did you bring us here?”

Just as they found the exit, door swinging open as they stepped out onto the sidewalk, a gust of wind blew across her face as she took in the lights and sounds of the city. Beings of various species pushed by, some she was familiar with from the outpost on Jakku, others she had never seen before. Flashing signs lined the lit buildings that rose high into the sky. Her eyes grew as she turned her attention upward, taking in the tiny lights of vehicles gliding by at different speeds, the sounds of their motors zoomed to and fro. Breath catching, she gazed in wonder. 

During her years on Jakku, she had stolen several magazines that depicted cities such as this one, hiding them in a box she kept safe from other scavengers. At night, her fingers glided over the images as she imaged the dance of lights and movement and sounds. She had only dreamed of seeing such a place but fully imagined the grandeur displayed before her.

She felt a pat on her back as Poe breathed a satisfied laugh.

“That’s why, kid.”

As she turned to punch him in the arm for calling her a “kid” yet again, Poe raising a hand in defense, a sudden whiff of spice caught her attention. Her feet carried her as she followed the savory scent, her stomach wrenching a ruthless grumble from her depths. She grabbed at her abdomen, hunting for the source as Poe, Finn, and the others followed curiously behind. 

She approached a short building wedged between two high-risers, and entered through a set of double doors. Inside there was a haze in the air, the room full of clinking glasses and general chatter. There were groups scattered all around the long room that was darkly lit, sconces occasionally lining the walls and casting a deep orange.

Something strong grabbed firmly at her wrist, whipping her to the side as she reflexively tried to pull away. The attacker was a Barabel, she noted, based on the dark scales and rough hiss that escaped its mouth as it tugged her close. Clawed fingers dug into her skin as she glared into its reptilian eyes.

“Let go of me!” she spat, unsuccessfully trying to pry herself free. 

It did not abide. Instead, it pulled out a long wand illuminated in a blue glow and passed it across the front of her body. 

“What are you doing?” 

It glowered at her, obviously ignoring her cries. Reaching around, it grabbed at her waist with its second hand. Her heart began to race, frantically attempting to knee it away.

“Hey!” she heard Finn shout from somewhere behind. “Get your hands off of her!”

The Barabel tugged furiously until it pulled free the pocketknife hidden in her belt, holding the prize victoriously above her head. The being shoved her backwards until she stumbled into the arms of Finn who unceremoniously pushed her back onto her feet.

“Give that back! It’s mine!” she grunted, attempting to jump up and grab it with her hand, cursing under her breath and wishing she had her staff.

The thought of using the Force crossed her mind, and she had to admit that she was tempted. It would be so easy to Force jump or to trick the thing into handing it back to her- maybe forcing it into an apology to even out the score. She leaned forward ever-so-slightly, and Poe must have known of her intentions when he suddenly appeared.

“Hey, hey, woah there!” Poe held out his arms between the Barabel and Rey’s hostile stare down. “Good evening. There must be a misunderstanding.”

It eyed him warily.

“You see, my friend here? This is her first time. She doesn’t know about the weapons policy.”

The guard grunted in understanding, but did not respond. Rey continued to glare, holding its attention. Poe nodded in her direction and Rey suddenly felt Finn’s arm snake around her torso.

“Let it go,” he muttered in her ear. “We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”

She grit her teeth, casting one last look of disapproval, then turned herself away. The guard noticed the reduced tension and, letting out a hiss, nodded for them to finally enter.

Rey followed the group to a table off to the left near the back, turning her body sideways to squeeze between the other patrons. The irritation from the encounter quickly left her as she was distracted by her surroundings once more. She noticed random clusters of people playing card games (sabacc, she believed it was called), several shouts and fists slamming against tables as they passed. There was a long bar that lined the opposite wall, stools along the sleek bar top occupied by dubious looking beings similar to the guard. She was instantly reminded of the castle on Takodana- back before things were even more complicated.

Moments after she lowered herself into a plush seat around their circular table, their waitress appeared. She let her friends decide on her order, not only because she was unfamiliar with everything on the menu but also because she was on the verge of eating her own fist and just need something to stuff in her mouth. The waitress returned shortly afterwards, placing a tray of assorted fried foods and jugs filled with a dark liquid. She chowed down on something round, a sort of fried meat, she determined, when the sound of instruments began to fill the room, their brass sound accompanied by a soft woman’s voice. She watched as people began to gather on the dance floor, swinging to the jazzy beat until the pangs in her stomach were satiated.

She peered around the table and listened to the conversations, listening as Poe discussed tactics with his peers and Finn engaged in a serious debate about holochess. Although she was surrounded by friends, fresh from sleep and body finally nourished, an anxiety began to settle in, creeping along the edges of her mind. Maybe it was the loud music or voices, but each time she closed her eyes she felt her hand begin to shake. She reached out suddenly, pouring whatever contents within the jug into a cup. Finn reached out to stop her and failed as the cold liquid slid down her throat. It was enjoyably fruity as she began to chug, but quickly she noticed a burning aftertaste and coughed roughly. 

“What the heck is that?” she gasped, catching her breath.

Poe chuckled. “That, kid, is Juma Juice. You might want to slow down.”

A belch rose from her stomach and she covered her mouth. Her fingers began to feel tingly.

“Why does my head feel funny?”

Poe and Finn exchanged a look before Finn took the cup from her hand and placed it back on the table.

“You’ve never had alcohol, have you?” he asked.

_Uh oh._

Her head began to feel slightly fuzzy, a warmth spreading through her chest. It was enough to distract from the shake of her hand.

“Whatever it is,” she said, reaching again for her cup, “it’s working.”

“Slow down, Rey.” Finn leaned forward, peering into her eyes. “What’s going on here?”

The concern in his voice and the way Poe placed a hand on her knee that finally cleared her resolve. The weight of it all had become too much and she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“I… had a vision.”

She swallowed, looking down into the depths of her cup. She could feel their confusion as they listened.

“Back on Ahch-Tu,” she continued. “That’s why Skywalker sent me back.”

“What kind of vision?” Finn inquired hesitantly, as if afraid the weight of the question would cause her to crumble. _A notion that could very well be true,_ she thought.

Taking a deep breath, she began to describe what had happened that day in the water. The way the voices chanted in her head, the sudden rise of anger and fury that rose like bile and scorched her from within. She described the flashes of red and white light, the sound of someone screaming in the distance. The voices that wanted to kill.

The vision had lasted only a few moments but had haunted her ever since.

When she finished, she downed the rest of her drink and felt her shoulders shake from the burning after effects. The alcohol began to take hold and she felt the defenses of the Force slowly fold away from her mind, the rush of emotions from her friends flooding over like a wave of confusion and alarm.

She knew they wouldn’t understand. How could _anyone_ understand? Except for Skywalker, but that was a lost cause.

A heavy arm placed itself around her shoulder, pulling her into a half-embrace. Finn tucked her head beneath his chin, his warmth melting away her tension. He held her for several moments as they sat listening to the general chatter that surrounded them. Her breathing steadied and she realized she was thankful for their silence. They couldn’t explain what had happened, she knew, but they couldn’t deny her fears that it was something more. The only thing they could do was comfort their friend, and comfort was exactly what she needed in that moment.

“You need to speak to the General when we get back to base,” Poe told her as Finn pulled away, “but right now, may I have this dance?”

The way he held out a hand to her, his eyebrow arched, eyes so hopeful, had almost made her laugh. Perhaps she did laugh- she couldn’t be sure, the Juma Juice beginning to take hold.

When she accepted, Poe swung her out onto the dance floor, twirling her around and around as her excitement growing with each step. It was the most fun she had had in a long while, the beat of the music echoing in her chest. She was unsure how long they danced together, her mind melting against the time as the music slowed and he pulled her in close. When she looked into his eyes she could see her reflection and the smile spreading across her lips. She noticed his own grin, eyes turning to _his_ mouth that slowly inched closer. He hovered there, his breath mingling his hers for a few moments. She closed her eyes as his soft lips brushed against hers. 

They stayed there for a while as she rested her head on his chest until Finn and the others approached them to leave. Her body was calm, but the tingle from drinking still tingled in her limbs as she stumbled slightly when they walked down the sidewalk. She felt Finn pick her up and placing her on his back, wrapping her arms around his neck as he walked her back towards their shuttle. She hummed happily, the last song she heard in the cantina still ringing in her ears. She peered around at the faces who passed by.

A vehicle nearby honked loudly, spooking her from her contentedness. She jumped from the sound, pulling herself down from Finn to steady herself on her feet. 

“I got it, I got it,” she mumbled, shunning him away as she followed alongside.

The song was gone from her mind and for several paces she tried to remember the sound of the instruments. A breeze blew and she wrapped her arms around herself as she shuffled forward. Her foot caught on a piece of unsteady gravel and she suddenly felt herself falling. It happened in slow motion, as if each second stood as its own frozen moment. 

There was a light- just one, this time- bright and white and blinding. An ache began in her gut. A loathing, a fury so strong she felt her lungs might collapse. She saw nothing but the light and felt her arm jerking repeatedly into something hard… Metal. Her fist hitting repeatedly into a cold metal until blood trickled down her arm. A reflection glared back at her through the dented metal, dark eyes so piercing, so wide with fevered anger. 

_It’s you._

His eyes turned, squinting in recognition before shutting tight. 

Blackness.

A scream, this time her own, rang out into the night air, her body shaking on the rough ground as Finn lifted her into his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...aka Rey can't catch a break.
> 
> Getting closer and closer to some actual Rey and Kylo interaction.
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think. Thank you Juliakaze and Marie for your kind words on the first two chapters!
> 
> (Also, a Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans.)


	4. Orders

Kylo watched the First Order officers milling about the corridor, their eyes averting him as he passed but nodding towards him in respectful acknowledgement. Their mere presence was enough to annoy him as they reminded him of their pretentious leader. A scowl ripped across his lips at the thought of the man he was about to meet with, reveling in the fact that the General’s men darted across the hallway or changed direction when he approached. His mask was a symbol of unpredictable chaos among the order of the General. He indulged in their fear, feeling and pulling it from the Force, letting it fill his lungs with each breath.

His saber sat dormant on his belt as he entered the command center. Although he knew he wouldn’t be needing it for the day’s meetings, his training temporarily on hold, it served as an anchor on his side. The moment he approached holographic command table and saw the long, slender frame of General Hux turn towards him, his felt his fingers reflexively twitch against the hilt.

The man glowered at Kylo’s appearance, hands folded behind his back at rest.

“Ren.”

“General,” he responded, voice clipped from his modulator.

Hux let out a sharp breath through his pointed, rat-like nose. “Shall we begin?”

Kylo responded by joining his side at the table silently, keeping a personal distance.

“The Resistance struck again, this time an outpost in Ossus,” his smooth, boyish voice explained as he pointed to a sector on the map. “Two X-Wing squadrons attacked the outpost. Some of the comms are still intact but the supply stores were destroyed.”

Kylo observed the set of planets in that system and noted the few outposts compared to the greater numbers located in other systems.

“Why this outpost?” he responded.

“The Resistance attacks have all been calculated. It seems as though they are looking for something but we are unsure of what,” Hux explained in a frank tone. 

The memories of Starkiller base began to flood, the handiwork of the Resistance leading to defeat- to his own _personal_ defeat. He remembered the chill of the night air, the sharp pain as he pounded against the wound in his abdomen, the shriek of the traitor as he tore open his body with his lightsaber. He remembered the sudden calm as a girl called to the Force, the hum of her power, the pull of her strength…

His fingers clenched into a fist as he felt a phantom burn down the scar on his face, the reminder of his weakness. He returned his attention to the droning of the General.

“…but doesn’t seem as though they are aware of the plans for the Supreme Leader’s new weapon.”

He jerked his helmet, eyes glaring down at the man who held a smirk at his surprise.

“Weapon?” Kylo questioned, a fury building in his voice, teeth clenching. “What weapon?”

Hux, anticipating Kylo’s confusion, tilted his head arrogantly.

“Have you not been informed? It seems as though the Supreme Leader is losing his faith in you.”

Kylo’s twitching fingers now fully grasped his hilt. It took the will within every fiber of his being not to slice the man in half.

“Due to your recent failures,” Hux continued, “I have personally been tasked with apprehending the girl who seems to so easily avoid your grasp. My recent intel…”

Without waiting for the General to finish Kylo whipped suddenly from the table and steeled back towards the corridor, their briefing officially adjourned. 

His eyes scanned unseeing as he fled, his mind racing. The familiar burn of rage welled in his center.

_Losing faith… your failures… the girl._

The phrases circulated, each one a stab that dug deeper and deeper, cutting holes into the well.

_**The weapon.** _

Could Snoke truly be planning something and seeking Hux’s aid instead of his own? His trainings have already been postponed since his last session. 

Perhaps it was the strange presence that appeared as he fought the guards, as he was losing strength. Perhaps Snoke noticed Kylo’s temporary hesitation before he summoned his saber. That, mingled with the devastation of Starkiller, caused Snoke’s losing faith in his ability to focus.

He needed his sanctuary, desperate to tear off the mask as claustrophobia sank it’s devious tendrils. The door to his private quarters could not open quickly enough, both hands squeezing into tight fists. As soon as he entered, door squeezed shut behind him, he tore off his mask and hurled it across the room with a loud clang. Whirling around and throwing off his gloves, he let his fist collide with the wall panel. His knuckle ached from the blow and a wide dent shadowed the sheen of the metal. For a moment he rubbed his fist absently.

It was what he needed. It felt _good_ to lose control. And so he did.

Again and again he threw his fist, letting it collide into the wall.

_Weak. Foolish. You will never be enough._

A deep growl rose in his throat, eyes locked onto his own reflection in the wall as he threw his power, his self-loathing into each hit.

_The Supreme Leader will not confide in you. You have failed him. You have failed everyone in your life._

Blood began to trickle down his arm, but he refused to stop. He was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t stop.

A small light, a tiny prick edged into the back of his mind. It was familiar, the same feeling from his training, and it immediately caught his attention. He slowed the battering against the wall and gradually brought his fist to a stop. He froze in position.

He was not alone. He was unsure what or where this presence was but he knew it was beginning to invade, the miniscule point slowly illuminating the darker corners of his mind. It was a flaring spotlight on his innermost thoughts.

He squinted as he stared at the chestnut eyes in his reflection knowing that he was not the only one seeing through them.

“Who…” His whisper caught as he squinted, tilting his head sideways.

Using the Force, he tipped towards the presence, wading into the feeling just enough while still holding the door to the rest of his mind partially closed. The presence was… Soft. But strong.

_So strong…_

Suddenly, irrevocably he knew. His eyes grew wide at the notion.

It was _her._

He felt her confusion as it mingled with his own and she pulled back, burning from his touch. He almost fell back with her, pulling back to himself before slamming the door fully closed. 

A knock on his door yanked him back to the present.

“Pardon, Sir. The Supreme Leader requests your presence.”

He peered a sidelong glance at the video screen next to the entrance of his room. Despite the firm hold on his voice, the First Order officer stood timidly behind his door, grabbing his shaking hand with the other as he awaited Kylo’s response.

When he looked back into his reflection, he realized his mind was once again his own.

Moments later he emerged from his quarters, helmet returned and glove covering his battered knuckles. The officer quickly backed away and returned to his post as Kylo turned towards the direction of his master. By the time he exited the elevator and stalked across the walkway into the throne room, he felt his calm reserve return.

“Master,” he muttered as he nodded respectfully.

The Supreme Leader’s thin frame sat upright in his seat, hands tightly gripping the edge of the armrests. 

“There has been a disturbance in the force.” There was an edge to his voice. “You have felt it.”

Kylo bit at the inside of his cheek. 

“I have.”

Snoke nodded in response, sunken cheeks casting his severity.

“Tell me,” he continued, “did you sense the who it was?”

“It was the girl- the scavenger from Jakku. But… what does it mean?” Kylo asked hesitantly, unsure of his master’s intentions but the curiosity ached within him.

For a moment Snoke surveyed him, lightly tapping his fingers against the stone.

“There is a connection through the Force.”

The words washed over him. No matter how Kylo repeated the words in his mind, he was still unsure of their meaning.

“Is this possible?” he questioned.

“Yes.”

When his master did not elaborate, Kylo decided not to press further.

“I require your services,” Snoke said as he stood suddenly and stepped from his throne. A circular object sat next to him on the ground shielded beneath a long red cloth. There was a jolt in Kylo’s stomach at these words and he tried his best to suppress the nudge to his pride.

“Anything, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke’s long fingers glided over the cloth as he spoke. “The scavenger is strong with the Force, as we both know. She has a connection with you that we need.”

Grasping at the cloth, he suddenly pulled backwards as it slid off of the object with ease. Beneath revealed a large metallic orb resting upon a stone slab. The face of the orb was twisted, closed against what lay hidden within. An echo of power resonated from the object, though it sat dormant.

“There is a puzzle that must be completed, and she is the missing piece,” Snoke explained as he returned his gaze. “Find her and bring her to me alive, whatever it takes.”

As his hand hovered above the orb, the swirled design on the front beginning to unwind and revealing a paled blue glow. Kylo immediately knew this was the weapon Hux had mentioned, realizing the orb held darkness beyond his understanding. He hid the shiver that threatened to run down his spine. 

“I must have you both.”

__________

Rey awoke suddenly, the black depths of sleep disturbed as she bolted upright from the knock on her door. She wiped away the drool that had pooled around the side of her face before stretching. 

At first, she was unsure of where she was and what had transpired the night before. When she reached her arms above her head, noticing an unexpected dizziness accompanied by a burn of indigestion at her throat, she suddenly remembered.

_The cantina, the alcohol, dancing… Oh **hell** , the kiss._

She slapped a hand to her forehead, eyes shut tight as she realized that probably wasn’t a good move when experiencing a hangover.

 _Curse that stupid Juma juice,_ she thought to herself. While this was not the first time she drank alcohol, she was usually used to the watered-down crud that was usually left over at Niima Outpost, the better and more expensive goods usually gone or smuggled before locals could place their hands on them. She was way out of her league with the stuff she was given that night.

For a moment she traced her lips, the echo of Poe’s lingering from her half-memory, and she instantly felt guilt. 

Before she could linger on the thought, a second knock barreled her door, much more eager than the first. 

She coughed loudly. “What is it?”

“There you are,” came a deep voice, immediately recognizing it was Finn. She sighed from relief.

“Not dead, yet,” she replied as she awkwardly rolled from her bed to tug on her pants lying on the floor. “Hold on!”

Rubbing at her eyes once she was fully clothed, she pulled the door open just enough to peer through the crack. “What is wrong with you and why are you knocking on my door so early?”

Where she expected to see his usually goofy grin before offering her a witty comeback, she noticed the straight line of his lips and set of his brow.

“Are you alright?” his voice concerned. “Rey, we’re worried about you.”

She sighed as she pulled the door the rest of the way open, leaning slightly to hold herself steady. Puzzled, she stared at him for a solid minute before following his train of thought.

There was something she was forgetting.

Memories instantly flashed back to the forefront and her mind was suddenly overwhelmed with the terror that pulled alongside. She could feel the crashing of her fist, the blood down her arm, the full brown eyes glaring right through her.

The floodgate had opened and she felt even more lightheaded than before.

“Woah!” Finn grabbed at her arm to hold her steady, but she pulled away. He eyed her cautiously. “You need to come with me.”

“I told you, I’m fine,” she defended as she tried her best to compose herself.

“No, listen! You need to come with me,” he persisted. “The General wishes to speak with you.”

That was _not_ what she expected. She gulped.

“The General?! But I thought she was gone on a mission.”

He sighed heavily. “Well, she’s returned and specifically requested to speak with you. Rey, she knows about the visions you’ve been having.”

The burn in her throat began to rise and she dashed suddenly from her door, reaching for the canteen on her floor and chugging the last of the water like it was a lifeline. Hearing that the General wanted to speak with her was the absolute last thing she wanted to do, besides confronting Luke Skywalker again. Hell, she would rather confront an AT-AT single-handedly before having this conversation with someone. She peered at the window situated along her wall, considering how long it would take her to squeeze through before cursing it for being too thin. 

He grabbed beneath her shoulder, helping to lift her up as he glared into her eyes. “No more running. This isn’t you,” he breathed. “Look, you need to talk to someone before this gets out of hand. I don’t what you saw last night but I know that I have never seen you so horrified. And if something is strong enough to scare you, then we should all be scared.”

She wanted to curse at him, to shove him for even implying that she was scared- but she knew that he was right. These visions were too concerning and she couldn’t take it anymore. They had to stop.

After forcing her to agree to follow him to the General’s office, Finn left her alone long enough to use the ‘fresher and put on a change of clothes that didn’t smell like stale cantina food. Once they finally approached the office, Finn was the one who knocked.

“Come in,” came the General’s steady voice.

Rey’s heart finished a somersault and she took a deep breath before entering the room with an unnecessary nod of encouragement from her friend. It reminded her of the time they had first met on Jakku as they ran from the First Order pilots, yelling at him to let go of her hand. 

As she opened the door and entered the office, however, she realized she might actually need his support as the thought of dashing back to her room and hiding under her covers seemed increasingly appealing at that moment.

General Organa sat in her chair behind a broad wooden desk, elbows perched on the arm rests with arms folded in her lap. She was composed, emanating authoritative control as she observed Rey enter. Despite the few conversations and interactions between them, this was a woman that Rey had grown to whole-heartedly respect. It was the man standing in front of the wide single-paned window that made her want to suddenly bolt.

“Please have a seat,” the General coaxed as Finn pulled the door closed behind her before she could change her mind.

She made a mental note to punch him in the gut later.

Luke Skywalker watched as she sat in the plush chair across the desk, arms folded as he leaned against the window. Avoiding his gaze, she sucked a sharp breath as she readied for what was to come.

“Your friends care very much about you,” the General said, her soft brown eyes offering reassurance. “They inform me that you have been having… some difficulty lately. That you have been experiencing visions. Is this true?”

Rey glanced briefly at her former master- dark circles lining red eyes, cheeks somewhat sunken against his bones. He looked exhausted. She wondered if he had seen as many sleepless nights as her, if not more.

Rey bit her lip before nodding slowly. “Yes. It is true.”

“Can you tell us about these visions?” the General asked her gently, reaching a hand across the desk. 

The unexpected touch of her hand took Rey by surprise, reveling in the comforting warmth of the gesture. Rey breathed deeply in an attempt to steady herself. While it had been easier to confide in her friends the night before (with the arguable benefit of liquid courage), to reveal this information to the General of the Resistance and the last greatest Jedi known in the universe was agonizingly humiliating. She was afraid to find out what was truly happening, afraid of what they might think. Even more so, she was terrified of having Luke Skywalker tell her that she had been tainted by the Dark.

“Please,” the General continued after Rey’s silence, “don’t be afraid. You can trust us.”

The woman peered at her brother, eyes pleading for his support. He shifted his weight uncomfortably before releasing a sigh and unfolding his arms.

“I am sorry for sending you away again, Rey, but you have to understand- I turned myself towards exile for a reason,” he began as he moved to stand closer to her seat. “All those years ago… Everything had been lost.”

She sat quietly a she listened, pulling away her hand and realizing suddenly that she had never taken Skywalker’s own motives into consideration. Thinking back to Han’s words all those years ago, back when things were _slightly_ less complicated, as he revealed the horrors that lead up to Luke’s disappearance. 

He held the edge of the desk in his hands, pink fingers turning white against the pressure of his grip. “I want you to know that I am cautious for your own safety. What you have felt, I have felt.”

“You cannot give in and allow these frustrations to consume you,” the General chimed in, the weight of both of their stares becoming almost too heavy to bear. 

Rey swallowed, fixing her gaze on the lush garden outside the window. Rain was beginning to fall, droplets causing the leaves on the tomato vines to sway and dance.

“Eyes,” she began, her voice almost a whisper. “I didn’t see them the first time, but it was as if I was seeing through them. There were… flashes of light. Red. White. They were blinding.”

Mustering her courage, she took another deep breath and continued.

“Both times I felt more than I saw. Such _rage_ , fury. It was so violent.” She shook her head, remembering the terror of the violence coursing through her, poisoning her. “There was a voice. I couldn’t hear it, but it was just… there.”

“What did it say?” the General asked, voice matching her own coarseness.

“There wasn’t much that it said- they were more like thoughts. It wanted to _kill_.” She paused, waiting to see their reactions or if they would stop her but there was no interjection. No response. When she looked towards them, she saw the same severity on both of their faces as they waited patiently for her to continue.

“I don’t think it knew I could hear it the first time. It didn’t respond to me until the second time when I saw the eyes, like it was looking straight through it’s own reflection and saw me.”

Luke leaned over the side of the desk towards her, holding her gaze. “Can you describe the eyes? What did they look like?”

A sudden chill ran over her skin, a moment of realization of what was to come. As they peered at one another, they shared an understanding. She knew what he was thinking.

“They were…” She left the word dangling on the tip of her tongue, her front teeth bared as they chattered together. “Dark.”

He pulled back, away as if she were a contagious disease as he looked to his sister. They exchanged a glance before he muttered, “As I suspected.”

Rey’s throat felt as though it began to swell and she bit down harshly, fingers curling into fists. Her ears began to ring. She felt distant as the two siblings conversed for a few minutes, as though she was floating and breaking away from the room. It was only when she heard a name that her attention returned to the conversation.

The General glared intently at her brother. “Ben? Do you truly think it could be?”

He turned to the window as the heavy clouds blanketed the sky in greys behind the glass.

“How is this possible?,” the General continued, “I thought it was only something you could sense. That’s all I have ever felt. How could it be this strong?”

Rey felt like she would burst. She couldn’t take it, being talked about but never to, as if she were a child again. She was so tired, so exhausted, and she needed answers.

“How could _what_ be so strong?” she erupted suddenly as she stood from her seat. “What are you talking about?!”

Their heads snapped towards her, turning their attention as if they had forgotten she was there. 

“You are connected,” Luke responded, as if he were a doctor relaying a diagnosis. “Your minds are joined through the Force. And it is the strongest connection I have ever witnessed.”

“Connected? With who?” she huffed. Having information left out was beginning to become aggravating.

Luke’s eyes pierced through hers. “Kylo Ren.”

The words were a blow to her chest. She fell backwards into her seat, unsure of when her hands covered her face.

_It all makes sense… It had to be. But-_

“What does this mean?” The palms of her hands slid down to her cheeks. Her eyes began to water, so she shut them.

“I’m still not sure. I’m not even sure how we can stop it,” Luke responded.

The General stood slowly and moved to place a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “You are bonded to my son, so this makes you a target. We know he will try to use you, whether to gain information through your connection or to drive you to the First Order. I know you are strong, but there must be a way we can help.” 

Her eyes pleaded with her brother as he sighed.

“There might be a way,” he said, “but we need more information. And I think I know where we can get it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first few chapters I used to set everything in place. Not going to lie, I've only been looking forward to writing what is about to come. The next chapter will start to set the story apart from some of the others and will DEFINITELY have some Kylo/Rey interactions (finally!).
> 
> Thank you to those who are giving this story a try. Let me know what you think!


	5. Propositions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DONT KNOW THINGS ABOUT CANTINAS I'm taking liberties here.

A dark boot pounded on the earth, a cloud of dirt rising around her ankle as she emerged from the stony depths. The doorway was halfway crumbled from years of abandonment coupled with a stronger force of gravity and she stumbled until she was clear from the fallen debris. She gulped the fresh jungle air, allowing it to fill her lungs, arms shaking as she hurdled over the final boulder of fallen stone. The sound of footsteps pounded and echoed across the stone walls of the temple behind her and, leading one boot in front of the other, she forced her aching quadriceps to propel her forward as she sprinted away from the main platform and down the crumbling stairs. 

Skywalker had directed her to the planet of Ossus, recently cleared from First Order influence as the Resistance had attacked an outpost a couple weeks prior. As she clutched the satchel against her thigh, slowing its bobbing as she ran, she remembered her master’s words.

_”There is a temple- an old Jedi temple- housing a wealth of lost knowledge.” His eyes so hopeful, his earnest concern reaching her to the core._

_“It is said it once held the Great Library. If anywhere in the galaxy there would be information about force bonds, this would be the place.”_

And so she went. The General ordered only the finest crew to follow her, Poe, Finn, Chewbacca and BB-8, equipped with the Millennium Falcon and all it’s furnishings. While she was somewhat nervous beneath her calm and determined façade, she had to admit that she was more than eager to explore. It had been quite some time since she had visited a new planet. When she first left Jakku, her life had become a whirlwind of adventure as she traveled from place to place. Once her training began, she had been sucked into a dormancy that became an ache within her spirit, her taste for exploration becoming an itch.

The long, thick leaves brushed against her face as she pushed against them, gaining as much speed as she could as she ran through the thick brush. The raiders, comprised of local outlaws of various species, followed not close behind, their swiping blades against vines and branches a constant reminder to continue moving. As the outlines of the ship came into view, its metallic outline shining from the light of the sun, she grasped once more at the satchel, feeling the hard lump within.

As soon as she rounded the corner of trees, raiders close behind, she waved towards the figure leaning as he sat on the boarding ramp to the ship. The figure noted her sudden appearance and jumped onto his feet. It was Finn, she knew, standing outside the ship just like she _warned_ him not to. 

“GO!” She pointed her finger, gesturing wildly as she pushed her body as fast as it would go. “Run!”

Finn ignored her request, per usual, and instead ran towards her as he pulled out a blaster rifle, aiming behind her as he shot several misses, hitting the trees beyond.

“Kriffing idiot,” she mumbled as she neared his position, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him along with her. 

They entered the central cabin and she threw Finn as he fell to the floor. 

“I told you to wait inside!”

The ship rumbled as Poe began liftoff, the boarding ramp just barely closing, the wind wisping through the cabin before the door was sealed shut.

His chest heaved as he spread out on the floor, propping himself on his elbows to try and steady himself. “What do you mean?! I stayed exactly where you told me to.”

“I told you all to stay on the ship,” she rolled her eyes as she leaved over him.

“Well tell me this- who in their right mind would send their friend into the depths of a jungle on her way to a goldmine of a temple where known criminals constantly frequent, without ANY backup?” He huffed. “That’s suicide!”

“Oh, excuse me, I’m sorry, but did I or did I not just come back from that temple with EXACTLY what I was sent for, completely unscathed, without your MANLY assistance.” She stepped towards him menacingly. “My entire life I’ve been doing stuff like this just to survive. I’ve fought off groups of scavengers twice the size of those raiders. Now put your knight and shining armor complex away and help me get this thing working!”

She gestured towards the item in her satchel and his eyes bulged wildly.

“You got it?!”

“I got it.”

Dropping the heated argument in an instant, he grabbed her around the arms and pulled her into a bear hug, swinging her around awkwardly.

“What’s going on back there?” Poe’s voice carried, dripping with a note of concern. “Did she get it?”

“I got it! Now let go of me,” she grumbled as she pulled herself away. She ambled her way towards the cockpit where Chewbacca and Poe sat comfortably in their control seats. 

She tried to tame the way her heart leapt slightly in her chest when she heard the voice. 

It had been almost a week since their visit to the cantina, since she and Poe had their little dance. She tried to think of it that way- something _little_. A kiss that was passed between two friends. Insignificant. No matter how many times she told herself this, told herself to push away any exposed emotions about the incident, she realized more and more the feelings of guilt that burned within her core. She felt guilty because the kiss was meaningless to her.

She wiped the sweaty wisps of hair starting to tangle around her face, leaning against the back of Chewbacca’s pilot seat.

“How long until you can get us into hyperspace?”

The wookie let out a howl, punching a few more buttons until the ship finally exited the atmosphere of the planet. It would take a few more minutes, she understood, and turned to leave the cockpit as she felt a hand brush against her wrist.

“Great work, Rey.” Poe turned towards her in his seat. “Did you run into anyone other than the raiders? Did you see anyone that could have been-“

“First Order? No,” she interrupted. “I don’t think so, at least. They all appeared to be locals who were already inside. I spotted them near the main hall. The ceiling was collapsed and they couldn’t seem to get passed the rubble but I found a second archway and was able to slide through. The only detected me on my way back out when I dropped my torch.”

He nodded and lightly squeezed her wrist that he held in his hand, his skin soft against hers. The silence was too much, her heart still pounding in her throat from the adrenaline of the chase. She was barely ready to handle the information held in her newly acquired package, let alone prepared to face the blossoming affections of someone she considered a good friend, something she wasn’t sure she shared. 

She offered him a polite smile as she gently pulled her arm away.

“Any sign of someone following us?” she inquired of Chewie who sat awkwardly during their exchange while trying to avoid eye contact. 

He let out a grumbling trill and pointed a long, furry finger towards a sensor along the panel that sat unblinking.

“Good. Get us into hyperdrive while I try to figure out how to use this thing,” she said, reaching into her satchel and pulling out the object. 

She didn’t have much time inside the temple to get a good look at its appearance. As soon as she entered the chamber where it rested, a warm hum erupted within her chest. She was pulled towards it, the Force tingling in her fingertips as she raised the object and levitated it into her grasp. Instantly she knew this is what she was meant to find.

Now that she was back safe on the ship, she took the time to look over the small device. It was held within the palm of her hand, a golden ring encompassing the metallic core center. Three thin arms were attached to the gold ring and circulated around the outside. She pinched each of the arms between her fingers, rotating them until they extended and acted as a stand to prop the center of the device. Never in her life of scavenging had she seen something quite like this, but she knew it held some sort of information.

“Does this look familiar to any of you?” she asked, holding it between the two pilots. 

Poe shrugged as he turned back to his controls, but Chewie tilted his gaze as he reached towards her hand and pulled it into his own. He stared at it pensively and she could almost see the gears turning in his head as he searched his memories. After a few moments of pondering, he abruptly flung the thing back into her hand while grunting and gesturing back to the cabin. Rey, who was fluent in many languages, understood his excitement.

“An imagecaster?” she asked incredulously. “But I didn’t think they made these old models anymore.”

She turned the object over in her hand, looking it over once again, thumb running over the smooth metal casing. The condition seemed far from a worn, lost relic within an old Jedi temple. 

“Where is BB-8?” she asked, her question quickly answered by a series of beeping. 

She returned to the cabin where Finn stood next to the droid. BB-8 rolled closer as she approached, offering several more beeps of excitement. She crouched down, human eyes intent on its mechanic one.

“BB-8, do you know how to use this?” She held out the imagecaster between them. “It has information that I need. Do you think you can help me?”

The droid locked its sensor onto the object, zooming in with its lens as it rolled its head to get a closer look. Suddenly BB-8 began to beep determinedly as it positioned itself upright once again.

“What the heck is that thing?” Finn appeared beside her, peering down at the object.

“Apparently it’s some sort of imagecaster- possibly containing some type of formatted information like a hologram of some sort. If I could just figure out how to use it-“

Her words were interrupted suddenly when BB-8 flipped open an orange and white compartment attached to its belly. Rey and Finn stared for a moment before Rey hesitantly placed the imagecaster into the round compartment, BB-8 snapping it shut with a content hum. After a moment of anticipation, the droid began to whirr and tremble as it processed whatever she had placed inside, emitting a sharp chirp.

“What’s happening?” Rey yelled over the noises as she fell backwards and scrambled to her feet. “Have I broken him?”

Finn stepped closer to BB-8, eyes wide as he spread his fingers and held out his hands as if to offer aid. The droid continued to beep and helplessly roll its head as if it were burned by the touch of the object within. Then, almost as quickly as it began, the episode ended as BB-8’s head locked into place, its projector glowing to life.

The moment the hologram began to play she felt her posture instantly stiffen, the little hairs of her neck rising as a jolt ran through her body. She wanted to look away, to run from the image that projected before her. 

Where she had expected to see the figure of an ancient Jedi master relaying crucial information regarding Force bonds, she found a tall, broad shouldered man with eyes _so dark_.

It was him. The shadow of her visions. 

“Scavenger,” came the assured, smooth voice of Kylo Ren. 

He was unmasked but still wore the long, dark robes now tinted blue against the light of the projection. He stood firmly, gloved hands resting at his sides where his saber rested. Her eyes, however, were locked onto the solemn face made of stone, the scar that now lined as a river down the right eye and into the skin of his cheek. It was her mark, a reminder that the nightmare of Starkiller was real.

“I know of the information you seek. It is no longer located on Ossus but I have intel on where it might be found.”

Finn’s eyes grew wide, grasping at Rey’s arm as the hologram played, but she found herself frozen in place, entranced as he spoke. She slowly became aware of her jaw muscles beginning to ache, teeth clenched.

The image of Kylo Ren ran a hand through his hair, pushing it behind his ear as he continued. “It has become apparent that we are both in need of the same device. I have also crossed some… information that may be of use to you. I am extending an invitation to meet and discuss this information, time and place of your choosing. This imagecaster may be used to directly contact me once you have made your decision.”

He pursed his lips for a moment as he thought, his face echoing the turmoil of words he was carefully choosing. 

“And before you decide, Scavenger, consider the ramifications of this meeting. The lives of those you have come to know and love may be on the line.”

The recording froze as he finished and she stared into the dark eyes, lost in their cold stare. She couldn’t move and barely mustered the order for BB-8 to shut off the projection. Once the image of Kylo Ren dissipated, she finally felt the squeeze in her lungs release.

“’May be of use to you.’ Who in the hell does he think he is?!” Finn, obviously as shaken as she was, gestured wildly at the space where the image stood. “Rey. Rey! Are you okay?”

He grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her slightly in an attempt to shove her back into reality. She blinked several times before answering.

“I have to meet with him.”

__________

Her friends were naturally uneasy when she revealed her plan- Finn in particular was furious that she would even consider meeting their enemy after what had happened to him on Starkiller. Part of her felt guilty for even telling him the plan. Though it had been months since his recovery, she still noticed how he winced each time he leaned against the back of a chair or someone absently patted him on the back. He always make sure to keep his healed wound hidden, keeping his shirt on when he trained under the warm sun or went for a run around the base. Though she hadn’t witnessed the wound with her own eyes, she wondered if it was similar to the crack now splitting Kylo Ren’s own skin- and with this thought arose the guilt.

The General and Skywalker seemed to be the only ones who supported her plan, surprisingly enough. When they finally arrived back at the Resistance Base she immediately brought the imagecaster to the General’s office. They had asked her to relay the information rather than watch the recording themselves, and she could almost kick herself for offering to play it for them. 

_Of course the mother a uncle of a mass-murderer wouldn’t want to look into the eyes of the monster they had once known._

Regardless, they seemed to agree that whatever information he held was important enough to risk a meeting.

“But how can you be sure he isn’t trying to ambush you?” Poe asked one evening over dinner. It had been a long week of preparations and meetings with the council of the Resistance, and Rey had finished a full day of briefings before finally setting the plan in motion that night. “I mean, we all know who we’re dealing with here.”

“Yeah- a murdering sociopath who wants to destroy everything in his wake,” Finn said, slamming down a plate as he joined their table. “And anyone in their right mind who thinks he isn’t trying to pull something on you needs to be locked up with him.”

Rey rubbed at her tired eyes, sighing heavily. “Listen, I’ve already explained this to you. I don’t trust him within an inch of my life. We all know what he is capable of. But if he truly wanted to ambush me, or even _murder_ me, for that matter, then why didn’t he back on Ossus? Why would he waste his time leaving me a message in a place that he knew I would go to, most likely alone or with little backup to avoid attention? He knew I would be in that Jedi temple, but he didn’t attack. There is obviously a reason why.”

Poe’s mouth gaped at her audacity while Finn continued to ignore her, staring out the window beside their table while he toyed with the fork on his plate.  
“Please just trust me on this, guys. I truly believe this is what I’m supposed to do. It just feels…” she paused, unsure how to describe this sudden intuition.

“Where are you planning to meet him?” Poe inquired as he watched her intently, Finn continuing to ignore the conversation. 

She bit her lip hesitantly, muttering, “I haven’t decided yet, but I need to figure something out soon. The Council has mentioned a few different planets, but they all seem to fall under one influence or another. I need a place that isn’t strictly First Order or Resistance- somewhere in between.”

Considering her, he took a bite from his bread roll and chewed while he pondered, scrunching his bushy eyebrows together. Swallowing, his eyes lit up.

“What about the moon we went to that one night? In the Zhar System?”

“The one you took me to?” she asked, confused. “Why would I meet him there?”

“Well, for one,” he started to explain as he pointed at her with the roll for emphasis, “that place is a mix of all kinds of shady figures so it hasn’t really pledged allegiance to any political ties. And for two- the city is the best place to be if you don’t want to be seen.”

She processed his words for a moment, remembering that night and the many faces on the streets of the city. She remembered how invisible she felt as people glided by, overlooking her existence as they walked, how they stepped right over her screaming and writhing body when she collapsed from her vision. In a way, it was the perfect place. Busy, lots of unseeing eyes, and crowded enough to discourage any sort of battle without locals also turning violent.

“That it!” she exclaimed as she jumped to her feet. “Poe, you’re a genius. Can I borrow BB-8?”

He grinned slightly, the tips of his ears turning a soft pink. “Yeah, sure.”

“Great. I need to send a message.”

_________ 

The streets of the city felt much colder than she had remembered, the wind now whipping her hair with an edge of a bitter chill as she tugged the gray robe closer around her arms. She had recorded her message offering a time and place and sent it to Kylo Ren using the HoloNet. Although he had insisted on meeting alone, she wasn’t naïve enough to believe that he would truly come without any sort of backup- not after their last encounter. After several more heated debates, she finally agreed to allow Finn and Poe to wait for her back on the ship, despite Finn’s continued protests. They agreed that if she didn’t return in a couple hours then, and _only_ then, would she allow them to follow.

As she neared the entrance to the cantina, she felt as though an invisible rubber band had extended and snapped itself against her mind. She halted immediately as she tried to steady herself from falling backward from the blow. There was a familiar tingling, this time much stronger than her visions, as it extended from her head to her fingers and toes. The tingling had a strange warm as it sparked underneath her skin, and she knew it was a sign that he was already there, waiting just beyond the door. Taking a final deep breath and placing on her own mask of authority and power, she finally entered the cantina.

The hazy atmosphere and swaying music instantly filled her senses as she stepped passed the front door and towards the guards who rested lazily against the wall. Perking an eyebrow at the tall, familiar Barabel, she waived two fingers before his face before he could protest.

“My lightsaber is of no threat to you or this establishment. You will carry on with your business.”

He glared for a moment as if trying to process her words then grunted, his breath hitting her square in the face, before he finally slumped back onto his bench against the wall. Letting out a huff of relief, she thanked the stars that it worked on the first try. She turned towards the two steps that descended into the main seating area and began to scan the crowd. She knew he was here, could feel the tension of his pull on the Force, could feel the weight of his watching eyes. The pull lead her to the far left towards a small alcove in the wall where a small square table sat in the shadows. A figure rested on the chair, back against the wall, and a fire lit within her core as their eyes met.

It was him.

She was unsure which was more of a shock: finally seeing the scar she had left behind or the fact that he was unmasked.

She pushed herself forward, feet shuffling, and his lips pursing in distaste as she approached. His dark eyes followed as she lowered herself into the seat across from him. 

For as much as she had prepared herself for this moment, day after day going over details of the plan with the Resistance council and her friends, now that she was sitting before Kylo Ren she found herself to be speechless. She sensed a similar unease across the table as he continued to stare. When she finally took a breath, readying herself to talk, he waived her off with gloved hand.

“Don’t speak.”

She snapped her mouth shut and squinted at him in irritation.

_Did he just tell me to shut up?_

“The waitress is approaching,” he flickered his gaze over her shoulder. “We should order something to avoid suspicions.”

“No juma juice,” she mumbled, and he turned his eyes back to her.

“What?”

“Nevermind.”

They ordered a simple round of food that wouldn’t take long to cook, the waitress shortly returning with their plates and a jug of water to refill their glasses. Once she walked away, their table once again left in isolation from the rest of the crowd, he finally spoke.

“This is a strange place to meet.” His voice was a deep baritone, smooth and strange compared to the furious screams she remembered from their last encounter.

“And under strange circumstances,” she replied as she took a sip of her water. Her stomach was too tense to eat and she noted how he pushed away his own plate.

“I didn’t think a scavenger from Jakku would know of a place like this.”

“Well I didn’t think a murderer would be interested in having a civilized meeting in the first place.”

He sat for a moment and observed her, unmoving. “I have not extended this invitation to speak just so I could murder you. If those were truly my intentions, you would have been dead already. At least I had enough courage to leave my weapon behind,” he said as he nodded to the obvious bundle on her hip beneath her cloak.

“I am no coward, Kylo Ren,” she rebuked, squaring her jaw, “but I am also not a fool. Cut to the chase. What are we doing here?”

Impatience and annoyance at his words began to claw their way into her reserve. She hadn’t risked everything just to come and bicker over fried food with her sworn enemy, as if this were the most casual evening out on the town.

A group of bounty hunters mingled nearby and he eyed them as they scooted passed their table. He obviously didn’t feel comfortable with the crowded atmosphere of the cantina, much to her satisfaction. She had chosen the cantina as their meeting place for this exact reason, thinking he would unlikely be tempted to spring an attack on her in such a busy place with patrons who were always looking for a fight. Regardless, if he was so desperate to have this meeting then he most likely wouldn’t want to attack her anyway. He was at least desperate enough to agree to meet there.

He waited until they were out of earshot, he finally spoke.

“I have a proposition for you.”

She quirked an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. This was definitely turning out to be a strange day.

“The First Order has developed a weapon that is more dangerous than you can comprehend.” His voice was severe and he leaned towards her over the table. “This weapon has the potential to destroy everything you’ve ever known.”

The stern look of his eye as he brushed his raven hair from his face and the sudden seriousness of the moment was almost enough to make her laugh. 

“I’m listening.”

“In order to destroy this weapon, you will need my help.”

This time she did laugh.

“Excuse me?” she snapped, “Why would I need _your_ help? If I do remember correctly, you’re working for the same side as this supposed ‘weapon.’ Why would you turn against the First Order?”

“I’m protecting myself, as should you.” 

“I don’t understand. Why would you tell me all of this?” She squinted as she searched his face, hunting for any signs of deceit. “What do you get from all of this?”

He pursed his lips as the wheels started to turn in his mind, searching carefully for his words. “The Supreme Leader has created this weapon to use against us. The both of us.”

There was a blow to her stomach, the echo of amusement swept from her face.

_Supreme Leader’s weapon... Against the both of them?_

He had to be lying.

“Why would Snoke want to use something against you? Is he not your master? I thought you were under his training.”

“Precisely,” he nodded, “I have become stronger from his training, as have you from yours.”

“How do you know of my training?” she asked, her voice cautious. Could he sense her through their visions just as she had sensed him? How much had he seen?

Enough, the sneer across his mouth told her as he peered down his nose at her unease.

“You can sense more through the Force than you know, Scavenger.”

A sudden memory filled her mind, the last time they had seen each other when he had offered to be her teacher. A shiver ran down her spine as she grimaced with disgust.

“Although I have not witnessed the weapon in use, I have come to determine its true intentions for the Supreme Leader. The device draws energy from the Force but requires so much more strength- which is why you and I are involved.”

“Are you trying to say that he will _use_ us? For our strength?”

He nodded slowly as he straightened his back against his seat. “In a sense. With this weapon, he will be able to draw upon our powers with the Force and put it to his own use.”

Her boot, which had been absently bouncing against the floor, suddenly stilled as she listened to his words. 

“And what would happen to us?”

“We become his puppets,” he stated matter-of-factly, adding, “we become shells of energy for him to use as he pleases.”

“Wait a minute,” she interrupted as she waived a hand. He closed his mouth, listening patiently. “How can I trust anything you say? You could be making all of this up just to trick me or kidnap me again. We’re sworn enemies. How do I know any of this is real?”

He took a deep breath and stared at her for a moment as she waited for his reply, and suddenly he leaned forward, eyes blaring into her own.

“You don’t. But I will tell you one thing- the Supreme Leader is capable of more than you can even begin to understand. If he wants something, he will take it. You can either decide to trust me or wait around to find out.”

Biting her lip, she considered his words.

If he was lying, why would he go out of his way to arrange this meeting? He could have easily ambushed her at the Jedi temple, but instead left her a message and an offering on her own accord. 

“It seems we have a common enemy,” she stated reluctantly, biting at her lip. “I’m listening. What’s your plan?”

If he were relieved from the edging of her trust, he didn’t reveal it in his expression. He sat, stone-faced, as he unraveled his intentions.

“The Supreme Leader has tasked me with seeking out the intelligence to finalize his plans for the weapon- and finding you.” He nodded towards her with a flick of his eyebrow. “I believe the information we need to destroy the weapon is hidden somewhere with the relics of the Jedi. If we are able to find this information first, we can work together to destroy the Supreme Leader and the weapon.”

She grabbed a bite from her plate, chewing absently as she thought. “How can I trust that you won’t kill him and just use the weapon against me?”

“You can’t. But I can guarantee your escape after his death. After that, we are free to continue on our own paths.”

“You mean we’ll be enemies again?”

“Precisely.”

She quirked her head to the side, eyeing him warily. Somehow, even in such a short amount of time, she felt like she could believe his words- and it felt strange. 

“I have one condition with this proposition,” he added. “We must go alone. You will leave behind your Resistance friends, and I will leave behind my officers. We have to ensure the safety of our plan.”

As she continued to think quietly, processing their conversation, the waitress suddenly returned to their table and offered their tab. Kylo, most likely wanting the woman to quickly leave so they could continue conversing, started reaching into a hidden pocket tucked beneath his belt and pulled out a money pouch. Rey turned in her seat and stared absent-mindedly across the dance floor, mind wandering as she thought.

_What would Finn and Poe think if they even knew I was considering this? I must be crazy…_

Her thoughts trailed as the band began to play a new song, a familiar beat on a soft drum as a piano riff echoed across the room. Somehow she knew this song, a sensual swaying to the sound of a woman singing, people huddling close on the dance floor. Suddenly she remembered- this was the song she had danced to with Poe, his hands on her hips, his lips leaning close to hers-

There was a rough cough from across the table as her attention was returned to Kylo who sat and stared awkwardly, eyebrows furrowed in disgust. The waitress had left them, meal fully paid.

She felt her cheeks begin to burn.

 _Can he see my thoughts?_ she wondered frantically as he returned to their conversation, shaking his head slowly.

“When will I have your answer? Time is of the essence.”

“Tonight,” she blurted, standing from the table. “Give me time to think over my own stipulations and I will let you know later tonight.”

Pulling out a pen, he jot down a series of numbers on a napkin and handed it to her, pushing away his chair as he also stood.

“This is the hangar where I will be located. You have two hours.”

Before she could respond that two hours was a _ridiculously_ little amount of time to think over something like this, he had stormed passed her and disappeared into the crowd outside the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive the abundance of eyebrow action. I was so excited to post that I probably should've done more proofing buuuut.
> 
> The next chapter is already in the works. Feel free to leave me feedback!


	6. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many references go out to Wookieepedia for helping me sound like I know things.

Her thoughts were too loud.

The chatter and commotion within the cantina had been overbearing itself. When he first heard her message requesting to meet at that particular location, he became instantly irritated. The thought of asking this person- a _scavenger_ \- for help had alone caused enough frustration. To add fuel to the fire, she wanted him to meet at a cantina, sit among the filth of the galaxy. It was beneath him. It reminded him of Han Solo, and the burn of bile rose in the back of his throat.

No. He would not _ask_ for her help. He would show her that she needed _his_. 

He was proud of his focus, his choice of words as he presented his proposition for their temporary alliance. Although the girl was surprised and hesitant of his intentions, she seemed to consider the idea. Every tilt of her head, every pause and catch of her breath was one inch closer as his influence clouded her judgment. He felt in control even in a place of disorder, reeking of alcohol and uncivilized classes. But as she began to lower her resolve her thoughts became so loud.

The images were fast, blinding as they flashed in his mind before he was able to raise his defensive barriers. It was different from their first encounter when he had interrogated her on Starkiller, when her strength a surprised them both as she prodded into his mind. This time it was different, striking as if she had no idea of her projection of her private thoughts, their minds joining unintentionally. It must be this strange connection, he thought as a new image invaded- swaying hips, lips parted and colliding… 

He shoved against the connection in disgust as the girl stared in surprise, innocent and unknowing of her invading thoughts. The look on her face almost irritated him even more.

_If we are going through with this then she needs to learn to control her thoughts,_ he noted as he now found himself pacing the inside of his shuttle. 

She would come, he felt so certain, but couldn’t help the slight twitch in the corner of his eye as he once again checked the time. Deciding to keep himself busy, he returned to his seat at a small table where a holobook rested and began flipping once more through the list of images. His finger glided lazily across the crystalline glass until it reached a graphic of a planet, surface white against the black of surrounding space. He traced the image for a moment, eyes gliding over the familiar information, checking the route for what seemed like the thousandth time.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he began to feel the familiar itch edging its way into the back of his mind. He stood, straightening his posture, as he strode towards the exit ramp.

The moment he saw her, he knew he had been successful. She clutched the strap of a canvas bag slung across her chest as her feet slowed to a stop before his ship. Her eyes scanned the dark metal as if each detail sent a spark across her web of scrutiny.

“Shields?”

He halted halfway down the ramp, unsure if he had heard her correctly.

“Deflector shield generators,” he replied as he observed her hand tighten over her strap.

“L-s 10.2 twin heavy laser cannon, I’m assuming.” She searched the rest of the exterior of his ship, avoiding his curious gaze. “What defenses are we talking?”

A smirk threatened the corner of his lips as he tried to quell his amusement at her need for control.

“Sensor jammers as well as anti-projectile deflection systems. Care to see the inside?”

Her mouth closed suddenly as she aimed her glare in his direction.

“Kylo Ren, I agree to this venture.” She took a deep breath as she peered back into the darkness of the hangar behind her shoulder. “However, I have one condition.”

There was a noise just beyond the girl as a small, round ball of white and orange came into view. The ball emitted a high-pitched chirp as it came to a stop beside her feet.

“BB-8 will be coming with me.”

He stared at the astromech droid with disinterest. “I said no friends.”

“You didn’t say anything about droids.” She stood, chin jutting towards him in defiance.

For a moment he contemplated waving a hand and shoving the heap of metal backwards, letting it skitter across the concrete walkway until it shattered against a back wall. He also imagined her turning and bolting towards the object and leaving the ship behind. Deciding against his instincts, he instead turned on his heel without a word and ascended back inside the shuttle, the sound of light footsteps following shortly behind.

He rested a hand upon the metal tabletop, once again hovering over the image of the mapped route. He felt her presence as she hesitantly entered the shuttle, eyes pouring into his back as she awaited his acknowledgement.

Without turning to face her, he pointed a finger towards a dark cabin to the right. “You can place your personal items in there. We will be leaving shortly.”

He moved towards the controls, placing the coordinates as he readied the ship for flight. He heard the scavengers plop down her bag, the droid following behind her every step. Although her insistence on bringing the futile machine was an irritating motion against his authority, he couldn’t help the feeling of satisfaction as he exited the atmosphere of the planet. 

His plan was set in motion.

The smirk finally slid across his lips as the emptiness of space filled his vision.

_______________

The hum of the engines vibrated beneath her feet, heart racing in her chest as the ship entered hyperspace, their path set as the window for a last minute escape dissipated along with her better judgment.

Her friends had begged her to stay behind.

_“We can tell the Resistance.”_

_“Let the council decide for the best course of action.”_

She had to tell them no- to trust her instincts, that something within her knew that she was meant to follow this path. 

It was until she revealed her own plan when they finally abided.

_”I’ll find a way, once I see the weapon, once I understand its build. I will help Kylo assassinate his leader then find a way to steal the weapon before he is able to use it against me.”_

They knew they wouldn’t be able to stop her, that her mind had been set the moment she committed to the plan. She would betray Kylo Ren.

Poe begged her to take BB-8 and to use the droid in case of an emergency. At first she had refused, knowing the full extent of his gesture- BB-8 had been his own creation, an extension of himself. She couldn’t find it within her to deny him. Besides, she had considered the droid to be a friend and knew it might come in handy in the face of danger. Since joining a mortal enemy could be considered a dangerous venture, she used her morality card and finally conceded.

She only hoped she would do them justice.

With her saber planted firmly at her hip and followed shortly behind by her new droid counterpart, she threw down her bag of belongings with a thud against the metal floor. Before her in the dark cubby of living quarters were two beds squished into bunks within the small cabin, built into the wall of the ship with one stacked above the other.

_This is a problem._

She eyed the beds speculatively before turning back towards the central space of the ship. She could see the back of Kylo’s head, turned towards the control dials as he set the cruise controls within hyperspace. He rose slowly from his seat and she could see the circles beneath his eyes against the glow from the controls as he stepped towards her.

“I trust you found the cabin,” he nodded towards the bunks. “I suggest you take some rest until we arrive at our destination.”

“Which is?”

Tiring of his orders, she crossed her arms against her chest. She was unsure what dimension he thought he was living in, but last time she checked they were not on terms to be sleeping _unconscious_ near one another.

He pursed his lips as he strode passed her, walking towards the rectangular table and motioning for her to follow. As she approached, she sank into the cold metal seat of the booth surrounding the table, eyes falling upon the holobook that he tapped with his fingers and brought to life. She scooted further to the back of the booth, away from his personal space but close enough to observe the image of a white planet.

“We travel to Bakarr. It is part of the Katorrs system,” he noted, zooming away from the image of the planet and replacing it with a graphic of the entire galaxy. 

The system in question glowed a bright blue, but the entire image is what caught her attention. She had only seen simple blueprints of the entire galaxy when she was a child on Jakku, flipping through old manuals and textbooks she would stumble upon while searching the forgotten metal skeletons of the desert. She had never fully seen an entire depiction of the galaxy, the curve of each arm as they extended into the emptiness of space, the spark of each star against the darkness. This was the first time she had seen an updated, interactive map of the galaxy itself and it was breathtaking.

Kylo noticed her fascination and temporary distraction as he eyed her coldly from where he stood. After a moment of silence, he waived a hand above the map to gain her attention and she shook her head slightly, returning her focus. 

“As I was saying, we will land on Bakarr,” he noted with a roll of his eyes. “The climate is below freezing temperatures, so I hope you came prepared-”

“Isn’t that wild space? What business do we have there?” she interrupted, peering at the small orb.

“Well,” he began as he quickly pulled the information for the planet, “each ancient Jedi temple we have excavated has turned out empty. Based on scouting missions completed by my men, I have reason to believe that the information we seek is located on Bakarr within a hidden Jedi cache- a trove of information that has been concealed on this planet for some time, possibly dating back to an early raid of the Jedi Archives.”

Attempting to listen intently, she leaned her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand. Her head was beginning to feel heavy and she could see the echo of exhaustion on his face despite his efforts to hide it.

“So we land on Bakarr. How do we find the information? Do you have a map leading to the location?”

“As you said, this is wild space,” he replied. “I don’t possess a full map of the planet but we will be able to scan once we arrive, which should be within several hours. That’s why I suggest you take rest-”

“How are we to access the information once we find it?” she interrupted, ignoring his wavering patience with her questions.

He surveyed her for a moment before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jedi holocrons and holobooks typically need a user of the light side of the Force.”

_In other words, you need me to open it,_ she thought as the burn of a yawn threatened the back of her throat. Before she could give in to the feeling, a loud bang startled her as she jumped in her seat and peered down at his tightened fist resting on top of the table. 

“You came here of your own accord, scavenger.” His words came through gritted teeth, eyes glaring into hers. “If you have something to say then speak your mind, but let me make one thing clear- I don’t _need_ you.”

There was a turning of her stomach, a sudden surge of adrenaline forcing her into alertness.

“Are you listening to my thoughts?”

“It’s hard to ignore them,” he said as he straightened and turned from the table.

She crossed her arms over her chest, a barrier between herself and the violation of her privacy.

“How dare you,” she rasped, eyes glaring into his back. “Explain to me how I can trust anything you say when you can’t stop invading my mind.”

“It’s not _invading_ when you’re practically throwing your thoughts at me. You’re so _loud_. It’s obvious your inadequate training has been fragmentary at best.”

As she watched the back of his broad shoulders, his voice arrogant as if he had any right to judge her or her experiences, she instantly felt the need to hit him square across his smug face.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through.” 

“I do know that Skywalker has failed you more miserably than I had thought possible.”

_That’s it._

“How dare you even speak his name,” she seethed as she shakily rose to her feet, heart now pounding in her chest. “It’s _you_ who failed _him_.”

He turned sharply to face her again, clenched jaw holding back a building rage that she noticed in the slight twitch of his hand. She hit a nerve.

“Don’t speak of something you know nothing of, scavenger, unless it is a fight you want.” He rushed back towards the table and leaned in close, gritted teeth near her ear as she turned from him in disgust. “Get. Your. Mind. Under. Control.”

After another deep breath, he pulled away and marched back into the cockpit, dropping into his seat.

“Rest. For your sake and for mine,” he muttered over the rumble of the engines, voice hoarse. 

Deciding to let go of the argument, she trudged into the cabin and began rummaging through her bag, BB-8 strolling behind. The droid chirped as she organized her things within the bag and stored it beneath the bottom bunk.

“Of course not,” she mumbled as she tugged back the sheet that was tucked into the bed. “I’m not crazy enough to fall asleep. I’ll just wait here until we arrive at the planet.”

She knew this was a lie. Between the excitement of the day and weariness from travel, the sweet tranquility of sleep was beckoning just beyond her consciousness. It had been a full cycle since the last time she had slept, she realized as she slowly she lowered herself onto the cushion. She fussed with the pillow momentarily before resting her head as BB-8 rolled to her side and beeped in disapproval. To appease the droid, as well as her own precautions, she positioned herself on her side to better see the dark outline of Kylo behind the controls. Although she agreed to this venture and accepted her fate, part of her still felt wary to close her eyes when her enemy sat armed and nearby. She knew it was a terrible idea to lie down in the dark cabin, to let down her guard despite her exhaustion, but her weight of her eyelids became too much to bear. She thought she heard a grunt from the front of the ship but she quickly became distracted by the comfort of sleep.

She dreamt of a bird. 

Unlike the portly, round porgs of Ahch-To, this bird was strong with wings that spread across the soft blush of the evening sky, the black feathers of the outstretched wings ruffling in the wind. It swerved elegantly back and forth, a tender brushstroke amongst the clouds. She wanted to hold it close, to rest upon its back and feel the same rush of wind through her hair. Almost as suddenly as the image came to her, a darkness swept across the sky as the last sliver of sun dipped behind the horizon. There was cold emptiness, as though the light had taken all warmth along with it, gone and hidden just beyond reach. The wind disappeared and the bird screeched into the night air, curling its wings inward as it halted mid-flight. It began to fall suddenly to the ground, limp and helpless as it hurled to its death.

Something brushed against her legs, the sudden sensation waking her as she bolted upright and slammed her forehead into the top bunk bed.

“Put these on,” Kylo mumbled from where he stood in the doorway, nodding to the lump of cloth he had dropped on top of her. “We’ve landed.”

___________________

The sharp wind nipped at the skin of her cheeks despite the high collar of the thick robes Kylo had provided. She was thankful for the gesture no matter how strange it felt accepting a gift from someone she would usually label as an enemy- even though she was certain his intentions were to merely keep her from freezing to death long enough to help him find the artifacts they needed. Regardless, she was more than grateful for the added layers of warmth as the dreadful wind pushed against their efforts. As she tugged at the belt to adjust the long layers of fabric to hold them in place, she wondered for a moment if the robes had belonged to him. She thought about asking as she peered at his tall frame, noting the set to his brow as he scanned their surroundings in concentration, and thought it better not to disturb him.

They walked for what seemed like hours, boots trudging through the high snow. They had left the ship behind in the small clearing where it had landed and continued through the surrounding hills. A mountain ridge loomed in the distance, striking into a menacing peak that she could see above the towering evergreens. 

Kylo had led them along the path of a small stream that twisted and turned, snaking its way towards the base of the mountain. They continued in silence for the majority of the hike as she trailed behind him, feet crunching into the layers of snow.

“Can I help you? Search for the artifacts, I mean,” she huffed as she caught up to trudge alongside him. Trusting he knew where he was leading them, she agreed to walk in silence for a time. The tips of her toes were beginning to grow numb, wind threatening a deep shiver as her patience began to grow thinner.

He appraised her from the corner of his eye as he moved, long arms swaying as he pulled his feet forward through the snow. She could see the rose in his cheeks and nose.

“I’m not sure you could handle it with all of the noise going on up there,” he gestured towards her head, voice straining with cold. 

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe you could try actually _leaving_ my mind alone and worry about your own for a change.”

“Trust me,” he grumbled, “I’d ignore you if it were possible.”

Deciding again that silence was much better, she huffed as she stormed passed him with a nudge of her shoulder. He backed away, pausing for a moment in confusion before following.

They reached a large clearing where the stream opened up into a wide, frozen lake that reflected the soaring white of the mountain range beyond. Near the edge of the water stood a series of rocks and boulders. As she approached she noticed a series of small crystals jutting between each large rock, almost transparent in color with a slight trace of purple along the prismatic tips. There was an almost hazy glow of a tiny halo surrounding each group of crystals. They were beautiful, catching her attention as she attempted to avoid stepping on one.

She began climbing to the top of a small boulder, shifting the snow as she found a comfortable spot. Pulling her layered legs into a crossed position, she lowered her hands to rest upon her knees, gloved palms facing the open sky. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, in quietly through her cold nostrils and out through her mouth. As she continued her breathing, she felt the slip of her energy into the force.

When she had practiced her meditations with Skywalker, she could easily feel the presence of his energy- a warmth, a strong touch against her own. This time as she closed her eyes and leaned into the Force there was a violent pull, so strong it had almost taken her breath away. There was a presence, powerful and cold, a striking contrast from what she had felt from her master. 

Somewhere behind her she could hear Kylo emit a sound of disapproval.

Darkness swirled around the edges of her mind.

She could feel his power tugging and pulling, the pendulum of their strange connection beginning to swing.

_We don’t have time for this._

His voice came without a spoken word, a low growl she heard within her own mind. She took another deep breath, pushing away from his presence.

_If you want my help then take it,_ she snapped.

There was a slight ripple as she felt him back away both physically and mentally, although the darkness of him still lingered. He started to move away from the boulder as he instead neared the bottom of the bank and closer to the water. Without the cloud of his presence, she was able to delve deeper into a connection with the planet.

She felt the thrum of life from the surrounding tall trees, the pulse from what she assumed to be tiny organisms near the stones or in the water. There was a presence of something larger, some type of animal off in the distance and far away enough to not be a threat. She continued to search, hunting for the spark of light that would be evidence of some type of Jedi artifact.

_There,_ she projected as Kylo’s presence snapped back into her consciousness. _Beyond the mountains._

A tiny beacon of light began to flutter in her mind’s eye, illuminating behind the shadow of the ridge across from the lake. She felt a wave of relief from Kylo that quickly turned into distaste at her sudden pride at finding the location of the artifact much faster than him. 

As she slowly opened her eyes, she felt somewhat lightheaded and placed a hand out to catch herself from falling. The halo from the crystals seemed to accumulate and grow, a haze of purple starting to cloud her vision. Kylo, who stood several paces away, peered into the darkening sky, his back turned towards her.

“It’s too far to make it before nightfall,” he surveyed as he scanned their new destination from across the frozen lake. “We won’t be able to make it around the lake and we don’t have supplies to make camp. We’ll have to walk back and use the ship-“

As he turned and finally noticed her, his voice halting mid-sentence, the glow from the crystals shone bright in his eyes. When she tried to stand she felt a tingling sensation in her limbs, a numbness, and she began to fall in slow motion. She saw the change in his expression, from curiosity to urgency, as he began to move back up the rocks with his arms outstretched towards her. The last thing she saw before the swirling darkness completely clouded her vision was the ripple of black hair as it fell like a curtain across her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to have more of this story finished before TLJ comes out, but work has me all kinds of busy right now. I will say- next week we'll be on winter break and the next update should be very soon.
> 
> Let me know what you think! I'm excited to start all of the fun bickering between these two. The next chapter is already in the works.


	7. Fervidity

She was as light as he remembered, though slightly heavier considering the cold weather robes he had provided. It had been months since the first time he had carried her back on Takodana, her limbs falling lifeless as he lifted her into his arms, and he noted the drastic change of circumstances. The first time he had used the Force to paralyze her, overwhelm her senses and knock her unconscious. Now he was paralyzing her to catch her fall, using the Force to push his body and carry them quickly away to safety. The purple glow emanating from the strange crystals went suddenly dark the moment they stepped away from the rocks, hidden between the trees.

The night crept quickly across the sky and he was thankful for the light of the three moons illuminating the forest between the cracks of tree branches. The wind continued to howl, sweeping the layer of dusted snow from the ground and blowing it across their faces. He attempted to tug at the collar of his robe with his teeth, pulling the thick fabric to cover his chin and lips.

Peering down, he scowled at the scavenger’s limp form. If she had only focused, had only agreed to his training then she could have sensed the threat and blocked whatever it was that had attacked her mind. Then they could have made the trek back to the ship, already resting and preparing for the next day’s venture across the lake. This way, at least, he could walk in silence without her constant noise.

Once he finally made it back to the ship, he rolled her out of his arms and into the cushioned booth, plopping himself opposite her as he leaned his elbows against the table to catch his breath. He pulled off his wet boots and began rummaging about the ship, starting the engines to bring heat to the cabin. He didn’t notice her stirring as he began to search the food rations and prepare something small for each of them.

“What happened?”

He paused, ripping a slice of bread and placing the pieces on a plate next to the small bits of dried meats.

“Tsils.”

“Excuse me?” He turned to see her propping herself on her elbows.

“Tsils,” he repeated. “They like to feed off of Force users and drain their energy.”

“Are you talking about the crystals?” Her voice was groggy as she rubbed at her eye.

“Yes. I wasn’t sure what they were at first but I realized I’ve seen them before. They must have sensed you when you began meditating.”

She attempted to sit up, arms shaky. “They used my energy?”

“They’re living organisms that are Force sensitive, meaning they can feel your energy and feed off of it.” He approached the table and tossed the plate, sliding it towards her. “Eat.”

She had to have been as hungry as he felt, having been almost a day since they left together on his ship without a meal. He watched as she eyed the plate warily as though he had tainted or poisoned the food and he instantly grew irritated.

“After everything that just happened, you still think I’m going to try to kill you?” he clipped with a slight shake of his head. “I just helped to _save_ you. Have you even thought about how you got back to this ship? I carried you myself.”

She swallowed, eyes turning from him to the floor and said nothing.

“If this is going to work, if we are going to work together to stop the Supreme Leader,” he continued as he pointed a finger accusingly, “then you need to let go of whatever image you have of me. You need to trust me.”

Her face, frozen and expressionless, turned back as she surveyed him for a silent moment. He knew that she could sense his range of emotions through their connection, desperate and fierce, as she flinched from the touch. He could feel the sensation of hers in return, a sense of shame for leaving her friends behind and an anxious uncertainty mixed with something familiar, something that he felt reflected within himself. As the cold in her eyes began to built warmth, he knew that she had also sensed this empathy.

Her eyes locked onto his, gazing with such fervidity at the sudden realization. He wanted to turn and run, burning from the touch of their connection.

“You feel it too,” she whispered, voice almost inaudible. “I can see it. I can see _you_ , a boy so lost. Surrounded by so many people but you’re so alone.”

The vision of a girl flew into his mind, wandering the desert, tears staining her face. There was a twist in his chest, so intense and strong that he took a step away from Rey, overwhelmed and breathless.

“’Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.’ You said that once to me,” she sat forward in her seat, moving closer as he moved further. “On Starkiller, when you were interrogating me. You told me that you felt it too. Is this what you meant?”

She was almost pleading, each wave of her frantic curiosity slowly chipping away at his faltering reserve and he needed it to stop. He turned suddenly away, attempting to busy himself with making his own plate of food.

“You need to eat,” he mumbled over his shoulder, steeling his voice and willing away the tightness of his chest. “You need to build your strength. We will sleep before we head out again.”

Minutes passed between them as they ate in silence, Kylo leaning against the cabinet where he stood. Once he finished his plate, he finally trusted it to be safe to face her again. She had picked at her own food, bites taken here and there, but she sat cross-legged and still watching him.

“Can you teach me?” she asked, hopeful voice filling the silence. “Somehow we’re connected and you’re able to close me off from your mind, but I don’t know how to control it. Can you teach me?”

He froze, considering her for a moment. There had been a time he had begged her, months ago in the dark of the forest, had asked to show her the ways of the Force. Just a few hours ago he had planned to show her how to quiet her thoughts, to bring silence to his own mind. But now, somehow, something felt different. And it was alarming.

Tossing his plate into the compactor and storming passed her, he bumped into her stupid droid (who beeped at him in excessive angry tones) as he strode into the back sleeping cabin. Passing the bunk beds, he reached the door on the other side that opened up into the refresher and locked it behind him.

He was overwhelmed, must be sleep deprived, he thought as he peeled away his robes. Why else would he be having these strange thoughts, wanting to keep their connection? As the steam rose to fill the room, he stepped into the warmth of the water and let it rush over his bowed head, running down his face. He just needed to clear his mind, just needed to rest.

But as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the hard siding of the shower, he couldn’t help the unexpected feeling of curiosity, wondering what else their strange bond could reveal across the Force. The sudden longing to see what else they shared, to fill the gaping holes they both felt, became an annoying ache within his belly.

He needed to stop.

As he exited the refresher, wearing a clean set of robes and tugging on his black belt around his torso, he peered over at the bottom bunk and was surprised to see the scavenger curled on the bed. Her eyes were closed, hugging the blanket as her breath rose and fell in the soft motions of sleep. He huffed, thankful she was unconscious again and allowing him to think in peace, as he continued to the front of the ship. When he lowered himself into the piloting seat the droid rolled up beside him. He turned to face it, its little head twisting and beeping in suspicion.

He grit his teeth, turning back to the controls.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The droid beeped and chirped in his ear. 

“I haven’t done anything. I just want to find the artifact and finish this plan.” He flicked a switch, opening the fuel reserves of the ship. They had enough fuel to heat the ship and use the amenities, but they would have to leave the planet within another day if they wanted to find another fueling station.

Again, the droid made an accusing noise, rolling closer towards him.

“Look, she’s the one who won’t leave it alone. I didn’t want this annoying bond in the first place.”

It beeped, as if to say _then why won’t you teach her to block it._

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, ignoring the droid as he shifted in his seat without a word and prepared for sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this is a short update, but watching TLJ has me with all kinds of feels. (For those who haven't seen it yet, I promise no spoilers. I'm still following the original outline I had for this fic). I hope the content of the chapter makes up for the length. The next one will be back to our regular schedule programming.
> 
> Thank you to those who have left such kind, encouraging words. I am so excited for the next shift in the storyline. I hope you enjoyed!


	8. Suspension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey is having none of anyone's sass.

Again she dreamt of the bird.

It was almost a shadow, a dark point in the blue sky gliding through the wind as she followed behind. Rey felt the wind in her hair, eyes closed as she basked in the sensations of weightlessness and exhilaration. The setting sun created a soft glow, casting shades of red and orange behind her eyelids. 

Though Rey was aware of her dream, lucidity could not ruin the freedom she felt from the anxieties of the real world.

The wind beating against her face suddenly stopped and a wave blast through her chest, a shock of energy that spread through her as she gulped for breath. Eyes shot open, searching desperately for her companion, her body floating as if swimming through the thick air. She twisted and turned until she finally found the bird.

Only now it wasn’t a bird.

Where she had seen black feathers there was now black hair blazing around a face, his eyebrows drawn in confusion. She heard his voice, though they did not speak.

“What is this?”

She felt an overwhelming need to move closer, using her arms to pull and propel her body forward. There was no ground beneath them, no sense of atmospheric level above- just the pure existence between them.

He peered warily as she approached until only a few feet separated the two.

“You’re the bird,” came her own voice, echoing into the air without moving her lips. “I’ve dreamt of you before. I watched you fly.”

The confusion on his face only doubled, the frown of his mouth deepening. “I don’t understand.”

“I saw you as a bird. You were flying.” Although she knew her words were strange and pointless, she still felt the need to share it with him- even if he was only her mind’s imagined form of the real Kylo. 

He turned his head, surveying their surroundings as he listened.

“In my first dream you were flying through the sky and you were free. _We_ were free. You let me hold onto you, fly with you. The sunset was beautiful,” she continued. Suddenly her memory caught up with her, the smile behind her voice fading. “Until there was darkness. It was suffocating. You fell.”

He drew a sharp breath through his nose and she sensed his alarm building across their bond, a spark sent across the string that held them together.

“What is it?” she asked, observing his twisting expression. It was strange how even her mind’s version of Kylo still imagined that stupid look of irritation across his arrogant face.

He raised an eyebrow as if knowing her thoughts.

_Great. Even pretend Kylo can read my mind._

“How is this possible?” he finally said, eyeing her with intense bewilderment, his tone darkened. “Can our bond reach across dreams?”

Now it was her turn to respond in confusion.

“What are you talking about? This is my dream.”

“No. This is my dream.”

She wanted to laugh at his sudden fierceness, so similar to the brooding of the real Kylo that it was almost…

An unexpected understanding overcame her, wiping the humor from her face and replacing it with wonder. She tilted her head to the side, observing him, his features, searching for inconsistencies that would prove he wasn’t real. 

“Somehow our bond must be strengthening,” he realized as he searched for an explanation. 

As she leaned closer, taking in each freckle and movement of each strand of hair, he recoiled and moved away.

“Stop that,” his voice growled, slapping away her hand that curiously reached towards him. “As I was saying, I think our bond is strengthening. There has to be a reason…”

Noting his discomfort, she backed away from his personal space and pulled in her hand. “Why would our bond strengthen? I don’t even understand why this bond happened in the first place.”

“It could be caused by our increased proximity. The longer we spend together, the stronger it might become.”

She frowned at the thought of Kylo Ren constantly skulking in her head, whether awake or asleep. “So we can never be free of one another.”

“This might come of a shock to you, scavenger, but I dislike this just as much as you,” his voice clipped as a scowl bit across his lips. 

She drew an angry breath. “I know that you have to live with being a murdering monster, but how is it fair that I have to deal with it too?”

She was surprised to see him respond to her words, his expression changing from irritation to outright resentment. She had called him a monster many times before, but this was the first she had witnessed him becoming upset and reacting to the word. 

He suddenly rushed toward her, closing the distance as he again hovered over her, fuming as he glared down his nose at her.

“Don’t you dare pretend for a moment that you understand who I am. You have done nothing but judge me since the moment we started this mission.”

“I may have agreed to this mission, but that does not change what you have done. You have killed so many innocent people. You murdered your father,” came her voice, strong as she refused to back down against his intimidating glare. “I don’t care how lonely you were as a child. You are a _monster_.”

Although his lips did not move, he still seethed in anger as he breathed heavily, floating above her. “My parents cast me aside, pushed me away when I needed them. Does this not sound familiar, scavenger from Jakku?” 

Her fingers curled into tight fists. “I am nothing like you. Don’t start pretending-“

“Only I didn’t have the sand to keep me busy,” he continued, ignoring her. “When my powers had me lost and falling through failure, my parents didn’t help me. Luke Skywalker didn’t help me. The darkness was the only one to respond, the only one to heal me from this excruciating pain and to stop me from ripping apart. When you have nothing left of yourself the only place you have to turn is to the only arms left open to you. Han Solo closed his arms off to me a long, long time ago and left me broken. The only way to put myself back together again was to let go of the past.”

Flashes of a small boy standing on the balcony of his mother’s office, hand waiving and begging for the large ship in the sky to return. In his other hand he held a fuzzy stuffed animal, a wookie, and he dropped it over the edge as it fell, lost to the ground below. A new vision, the boy clutching at the blankets of his bed, shaking and screaming into the night air, his room empty. He continued, sweating from exhaustion as the darkness crept into the corners of his mind. No one came.

“Stop it,” she pleaded, as Kylo again showed her another memory- Skywalker sending a teenage Ben Solo away from his jedi temple, Luke pointing an accusing finger and turning his back him in the same way he had turned his back to her on Ahch-To, a mirror to the same loneliness and fear she had felt. She saw Snoke’s long, greedy fingers snaking their way into Ben’s young mind, filling the gaping holes that had been left behind from every loved one he had ever known.

“Stop!” She grabbed his shoulders, her hands trembling. 

“Do you see?” His eyes bore down into hers, his voice desperate. “I was _made_ into Kylo Ren. I’ve had no choice.”

She let go of him and wiped at the tears beading along the edges of her eyes, biting away the burn that threatened in the back of her throat.

“You’re wrong. You can’t help what happened to you as a child, we both have learned that lesson,” her voice echoed into the air between them, soft but urgent. “But you’re wrong. You’ve always had a choice.”

He swallowed, his harsh brown eyes searching hers as he listened.

“You still have that choice.” She slowly raised her hand, cautiously reaching out to him a second time. 

He floated, motionless, glaring at her hand as if at any moment she might use it to strike him across the face.

“Let me help you.”

She watched as he switched his gaze between her and her hand, eyes flickering back and forth, sensing the build of emotion within him- his anger, his pride rising to block her out, folding the string of their bond.

Suddenly, as they continued their challenging stare, the light from the sun flickered out and casted a darkness across the sky, blanketing them in a cold emptiness. She pulled the string of their bond taught, a wave of fear rushing between them in quick succession. She remembered her first dream, remembered the bird as it began to fall through the air. There was an unexpected pressure on her hand as he grabbed her quickly, pulling her close to wrap an arm around her shoulder. She crashed into his hard chest, grasping desperately as they began to fall through the sky together, surrounded in darkness, her heart pounding in her chest as she screamed.

She gasped, heaving as she sat suddenly on her bed and again smacked her forehead against the metal bars from the top bunk above. Rolling over in bed, she groaned into the pillow in pain and rubbed at the spot, letting the safety of reality to calm the race of adrenaline in her veins. She took several deep breaths before she allowed herself to place her feet on the floor and stand, groggy eyes searching to find where Kylo slept. Peering through the doorway she found him hunched over the table in the central cabin, arms resting on the metal as he examined a holoscanner. From the cockpit she could see a casting yellow light, the planet’s sun rising outside the window and illuminating the side of his face. As she slowly stepped into the room, stifling a yawn, she noted the concentrated pull to his brow as he ignored her entrance. 

She wanted to reach out to him, to confirm if it had been true- if they really did share the dream, if what she had seen was real, if he had truly grabbed her hand once the darkness set in.

Whether he knew of her thoughts she was unsure, his back now facing her. She opened her mouth, the questions hesitating on her tongue as the silence continued. Deciding against it, she turned away and walked back towards the back cabin.

“There’s a refresher.”

She turned suddenly to see him pointing passed her to the doorway on the other side of the bunk beds, his eyes still set on the scanner before him.

“We leave within the hour,” he murmured, his voice heavy with fatigue. He must have woken not much longer before her. “I expect you to be ready.”

________ 

After using the refresher and grabbing a quick breakfast made of bread and dried fruit, Kylo started the engine of the ship and flew them passed the edge of the lake. He found a clearing near the base of the mountain, flat and bare enough for a landing. She watched outside the front window as several round, rust-colored blobs bounced and scurried into the trees and away from their incoming ship. She remembered her meditation and sensing some sort of large creatures inhabiting the planet. 

“Local animals, nothing to worry about,” Kylo said as he skillfully tugged at the steering controls and prepared for their landing. 

Once on the ground, Kylo began busying himself with packing a supply bag, rummaging through the cabinets and surveying his stores. In the meantime, Rey took the moment to gather her own self in the back cabin. She crouched beside BB-8 and placed a transmitter into a slot alongside its round belly, checking over her shoulder to ensure Kylo was still distracted with his dealings. 

“We have to send the message quickly,” she mumbled to the droid who twisted its head to meet her face and chirped a quiet reply. “I need you to send this to Poe.”

BB-8 popped open a small compartment and extended a tiny metal arm with a recording device attached. He beeped once, twice, and a third time as a signal for Rey to begin. She coughed lightly, leaning down to whisper into the small microphone.

“We are on Bakarr. I am safe. It seems he truly does need my help. We are still searching for the artifact that will tell us how to destroy the weapon. Once it is located I will try to find a way back to the Resistance.” She paused, again checking over her shoulder. Kylo was finishing up wrapping a small package of bacta kits and securing them in a small box. “Our bond… It’s growing stronger. I’m not sure how well he can read my thoughts but hopefully I can get him to train me to block him out. Until then, I have to try and stick to the plan without him finding out.”

For some reason, an unknown feeling of guilt began to rise in her chest. She pictured the small boy from her dream, his sad brown eyes pleading and reaching into the sky for his father, begging for his mother at night, for anyone to help. 

Swallowing, she continued. “Tell General Organa I will try to help her son.”

She tapped the small arm to end the recording, allowing BB-8 to return its arm inside the compartment and urging him to transmit the message once they left the ship. The droid emitted several demanding beeps as it rolled behind her into the central cabin where Kylo stood, clipping the supply bag closed and turning to face her.

“I told you, BB-8, you can’t come with us,” she scolded. “You have to stay behind like before. Keep watch over the ship while we’re gone.”

She attempted to wink slyly at the round orange and white ball, secretly communicating the importance of its job to send her message. It beeped in a slow whine, rolling its head backwards as if it were rolling its eyes. She puffed her upper lip in frustration and turned away from the droid.

After saying her goodbyes to BB-8 and again stuffing him back inside the ship, they wrapped themselves in their thick winter robes and began trekking through the snow. Beyond the clearing they reached the thick overgrowth, pushing aside the brush that was covered in white snow and reaching the other side. Kylo walked ahead of her, his long legs able to gain distance as she followed behind. She peered up at the wall of rock to her left, the base of the mountain edging into steep cliffs and ridges, rising into the sky and disappearing into the white haze of clouds above. Beneath the thick gloves she could feel the tingle of the Force on her fingertips, could feel the light emanating from somewhere ahead in their path. She knew Kylo could also feel it, knowing they were on the right track in finding the artifact. The light from the object sent a slight warming sensation as they grew closer with each step, though she knew there was still a long distance and they still had a long walk ahead. For a moment she wondered what the light felt like to Kylo, if he felt the same warmth or if the darkness within him turned it cold.

She tried desperately to think of anything other than the dream, trying to force other thoughts into her mind. As the snow crunched beneath her feet, she thought of the Resistance, of her friends and wondered if they were still worried about her. The wind began to pick up, brushing against her face and ears and turning her skin a rosy pink against the cold. She looked ahead of her, watching as Kylo ducked beneath a set of tree branches and holding them to the side as she approached. She stood for a moment, eyeing him in surprise at the gesture, then mumbled a thanks as she crept beneath and joined him on the other side. He continued to avoid her eyes, nodding at her quickly then turning on his heel to continue walking.

Eventually they were able to find a path, minuscule and almost hidden beneath the thick snow but slightly discernable by the line of the dark soil beneath. After hiking for what seemed like several hours, the sun now rising high in the blue sky, a strange sound began to echo between the tall trees. Rey was the first to notice, peering around the first time she heard it, an almost buzzing sound, eyes searching the shadows of the forest. A second time she heard it, this time a deep grumbling moan that trailed along the wind and she stopped dead in her tracks. For the first time since they left the ship that morning, Kylo stopped and turned his attention to her. 

“What are you doing?” he asked as he whipped around to see her standing, raising a finger to her lips.

“Shhh!”

Again the noise echoed across their path, a low-pitched bellow, urgent and much louder than before. Rey instantly turned towards the noise, the Force pulling her from the path and into the thicket. She could sense the irritation building across their bond, Kylo stomping as he trailed after her, but she continued nonetheless.

“Rey, slow down!”

The intensity of the noise grew as she stepped closer, using her arms to push away the brush and stepping over a fallen tree, sliding down the other side. In the distance she saw a familiar color of rust huddled against a wide tree trunk. The animal, similar to those she had seen when they had landed, was curled into a tight ball. Its bright, thick fur stood out vividly against the white ground and it trembled as she approached. She lowered herself to the ground, though the animal almost reached the same height as her hips, and crawled to its side. Reaching out a shaking hand, she hesitantly rested it against its side, the fur soft beneath her fingers. The animal let out a groan and heaved beneath her touch, rolling slightly to its side and revealing its face. The snout was short, buttoned by a wet black nose with eyes that were dark a beady, surrounded by a mask of patterned white around the edges of its round cheeks and wide, pointed ears. Its legs were also white, paws thick and lined with dark claws. Her eyes widened as she noticed the bright red dripping from a gash in its stomach. She could feel the waves of its pain across the Force as it let out another groan.

She turned towards Kylo, reaching out a hand.

“The bag- can you hand be a bacta kit?”

His arms flew out from his sides, shrugging his shoulders as he stared incredulously.

“What, now?”

“Yes, now!” she yelled. “Can’t you see he’s injured?”

His mouth gaped as he stared, bewildered and growing heated from her sudden distraction.

“I’m not wasting our medical supplies on some _dog_. And if I remember correctly, we’re on a mission to find an important artifact that could save our lives, not play veterinarian in the middle of some ice planet,” he fumed, tightly grasping the strap of the bag around his shoulder. The animal turned towards Kylo at the word “dog,” huffing indignantly. Kylo glared back, eyes dark and challenging.

“He needs our help,” she pleaded, running a hand along his sweet face. She wished she could hug him, reach her arms around his wide body in an embrace. He reminded her of the pictures from a book she had found when she was a young girl about a bear-like creature living with a boy and his family, wishing she could have her own fluffy companion. This animal seemed to be young and so afraid, its distressed cry enough to tear her heart apart.

“Then why don’t you just kill it?” Kylo waived nonchalantly towards the creature with a lazy hand. “Put it out of its misery.”

She stood suddenly, clenching her jaw as she marched towards Kylo, wishing she could rip his stupid pursed lips from his face. He reached for his saber, resting a hand on it reflexively as she reached a clawed hand towards him. There was a hum from the Force as she willed the bag to fall from his shoulders and he grabbed it defensively before it reached the ground.

“Give it to me,” she demanded, now barreling towards him in a full-out run. She ducked and held out her arms, wrapping them around his torso as she shoved him backwards in the snow. He landed with a thud and rolled, pushing her beneath him and pinning her to the ground.

“This is a waste of time,” he hissed, biting back a growl as she weaseled a knee between them and pushed hard against his chest. They rolled again, this time with her pinning him to the ground with both knees.

“Just give me the bag!”

She grit her teeth as she reached behind, attempting to pull it from beneath his back. He grabbed at her forearm, gripping it tightly as she grunted in frustration. Using the Force, he gathered the energy within his free hand and used it to shove her backwards into a nearby tree several feet away. She moved quickly, feet dragging against the ground as she hit it with a soft thud and slid down to a sitting position. As she rose back to her feet, preparing for a second lunge at him, the animal suddenly stood, frightened by their tussling, and scurried away into the woods. Though quite tall and hefty, the tumbling animal was able to gain ground and quickly disappear.

“What is wrong with you?” she shrieked, astonished by his pure lack of consideration for another living being. 

“Wrong with me?” He raised his hands defensively then pointed a finger in her direction. “What is wrong with you? Over some stupid animal. We don’t have time for this!”

She wanted to shove him again, scream in his face for being so insensitive and downright _cruel_.

“It needed our help,” she huffed as she walked back towards the tree where it had been, a pool of crimson blood staining the ground. “I refuse to let some innocent animal die just because you’re so selfish.”

She stalked into the forest, leaving him behind to gawk disbelievingly. After a few moments, she heard him continue to follow.

Her eyes scanned the snow, searching for the trail of red the animal left behind. It began as a few light drops, twisting and winding across the white snow then slowly building into larger splotches. The animal must not have gone far, she noted, determining the increased amount blood as a sign that it had slowed its pace. Kylo caught up behind, grabbing her arm as she followed the trail behind a towering tree. She whipped around suddenly, turning towards him and opening her mouth ready to spit another insult in his face. 

Before she could vocalize her irritation, there was a snap beneath their feet as they were suddenly hoisted into the air. Their bodies tumbled together as they were engulfed by something solid, a sharp and blinding pain flashing before her eyes as their foreheads slammed together ungracefully. She felt as though she had lost control of her limbs, her body smashed uncomfortably against his as she blinked repeatedly, eyes searching their surroundings. 

They were suspended mid-air, a netted rope engulfing them and hanging from the nearby tree. As they both squirmed awkwardly, trying to find a comfortable position between the thick strands of rope without elbowing one another, there was a rustle and disturbance beneath them. She could hear the heavy footsteps of something large- not one set of footsteps, but several in succession. 

Kylo’s head hovered above hers, his long torso gaining height as their legs slid into a seated position. He scowled at her, glaring down his nose.

“This is all your fault.”


	9. Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who left feedback. Your kind and encouraging words mean the world to me. 
> 
> I spent all day trying to finish this chapter with many distractions in between, so many apologies if it isn't completely proofed.

That day had brought forth two realizations of alarming proportions, so strong that he almost felt a sickness in his stomach. 

First, he realized there was more to their connection than he had previously thought. He had hoped that the bond ended at the edges of their thoughts, possibly with the occasional sharing of emotions, but he never expected the level of empathy that had passed between them. It was an electric shock, a full blow to his core, and he was alarmed because he wanted more.

When she saw his truth, his memories and reasoning behind the façade of the mask he wore, she didn’t turn away. When she saw the creeping darkness that had risen within him since he was a child, the snarling grasp of the Supreme Leader within his mind, she didn’t run from him. Instead, she reached towards him. A helping hand, someone who had felt the same emptiness and longing for a connection, a need to belong.

He wanted more. And it was alarming.

When he woke from their shared dream his hands were shaking and sweat beaded his forehead. He needed to move, to distract himself from this strange feeling growing within, something he wanted no interest in nurturing. 

As she began to wake he could feel her presence trickling across their bond, a small pull on the string of their connection. He turned his back to her and began building the walls of his own mind, closing himself off. While he knew she wasn’t as attuned to accessing their bond, he wanted no chances of her sensing this strange feeling, especially before he was able to deal with it on his own.

So he continued to ignore her. As they began their trek through the woods, he continued to build his barrier between them. Occasionally her thoughts would seep through, switching annoyingly between those she cared for at the Resistance or simple things such as how the texture of the snow beneath her boot reminded her of walking through the thick sands of Jakku. He noted that each thought of hers completely avoided what had passed between them in their shared dream- probably for the better.

When they came across the wounded animal, she had insisted on stopping to help. He grew frustrated not only because it was a waste of their time but also because her thoughts became so loud again, making it exceedingly difficult to ignore. It seemed as though anytime she became distressed their connection grew, lighting a spark that bounced back and forth across their string. For a moment he wondered if it were the same from her perspective, if she was able to sense him when he became upset. Before he could delve deeper into this idea he found himself being slammed into the ground, the scavenger wrestling him to the ground and reaching desperately for his medical supplies.

_What the…_

He had no time to think, the snow flying around him as they twisted and rolled on the ground. He was shocked, almost amused by her sudden anger and downright nerve for taking him down. However, his amusement fizzled out quickly once she began to follow the animal into the woods and refused to stop, continuing to waste whatever precious time they had left. Lucky for her, she didn’t have to report to the ever-impatient Supreme Leader Snoke. 

Kylo, giving up hope of reasoning with the girl, stomped his way to catch up and grabbed her by the arm.

That was when he heard the snap, and for the second time that day he was brought off of his feet against his desire.

Within seconds he found himself squished against the girl, the both of them caught unexpectedly inside a trap.

“This is your fault,” he grumbled as his legs slid between the slots of the net and brought himself to a seated position. 

She tumbled and pushed herself to her knees next to him, gripping the rope in her hands to hold herself steady and to stop herself from falling entirely onto his lap. He could hear her heavy breathing, concentrating as she searched the ground beneath them, ignoring his words. 

_Quiet,_ she shot across their bond, motioning with her hand for him to stop talking.

Following her gaze, he shifted himself so he could see over her head that was tucked beneath his chin. He could see that they were suspended nearly 4 meters from the ground, their struggling causing the net to slowly twist in circles. Through the net he could feel a tremor, something causing a heavy vibration across the rope that had engulfed them. Down below he could see the leaves of the nearby overgrowth begin to shake as four sizeable creatures emerged from behind. They were all covered in the same deep orange fur they had seen on the first animal, their bodies thick and round. Their faces differed, their snouts much longer and extending over black lips, their mouths lined with teeth so long and sharp he thought they couldn’t be real. The eyes of the beasts seemed to glow an almost blood red. What he found to be just as distressing was their height, towering almost as high as their net while walking on all fours. The young animal they had found bleeding in the snow came bounding out of the same overgrowth, curling up next to the legs of one of the adults, his wound now missing from his abdomen. 

_Apparently we’ve been set up_ he snarled, shooting her a nasty look from above.

 _Oh really, you don’t say._ Although he couldn’t see her, he knew she was rolling her eyes.

As he watched, he noticed the small hooded figures perched on the backs of the large animals who began to pace back and forth beneath their net. Each of these small creatures were covered in black fur, faces hidden beneath their cloaks and holding long spears in their tiny clawed hands. They began to chatter back and forth, their small noises high-pitched and chirping as they communicated with one another. Every few seconds one of the black creatures would gesture towards their net with their spear.

This was the moment Kylo had his second alarming realization, hitting him so suddenly that it took a moment for his mind to catch up. First he felt the rush of adrenaline as he searched for a way to safety, combing scenarios in his head on how to escape the imminent threat of either being eaten alive or being speared by some sort of miniature Ewok- neither of these being on his agenda for the day. Then, as he finally decided on his course of action, he suddenly felt the overwhelming need to save Rey. He knew she was strong, arguably as strong as he was, and more than capable of saving herself, but the thought of her becoming injured by any means was so infuriating. He was instantly concerned by this feeling and tried to quickly stifle it away before it reached their bond. If she had noticed he was unsure as she continued to peer down at the threat beneath them.

After plotting several different ideas in his head, he finally settled on his plan. 

_I’m going to use my saber to cut us out of here._

She whipped her head in alarm, turning so quickly to face him that she almost smacked her head into his chin.

 _Don’t even think about it,_ her voice scolded across their bond. _We’re crammed too close together and that thing is so unstable._

_Then please, go ahead and tell me your brilliant idea on how to get us out of here. You know, since it’s your fault we’re stuck here in the first place._

She scrunched her nose, leaning back as far as she could to show her outrage. _Excuse me, but how was I supposed to know this would happen?_

 _What, that these stupid bear things were using that bleeding animal to lead us into this trap so they could feed us to their pets?_ he teased, feeling the urge to wipe the indignant look off of her face. _Maybe you should’ve listened to me in the first place so we could’ve been halfway to the artifact instead of being stuck here in this mess._

The black creatures brought their furry, menacing steeds to a halt and now began gesturing wildly towards them, shrieking as they waved their spears threateningly. Rey and Kylo sat still and silent, knowing that anything they attempted to say to the creatures would be in vain and most likely escalate the situation. Although smaller creatures seemed less threatening, their gigantic sharp-toothed companions seemed to have a much more aggressive tone and Kylo didn’t want to wait around to find out if humans were included in their diet.

He shuffled to make room and slid his hand down to his hip, attempting to discreetly peel open the fold of his thick black robe. Rey instantly caught on to his intentions and attempted to grab his wrist, twisting awkwardly from their close confinement.

_What do you think you’re doing?_

_I told you. I’m going to cut us out of this thing._

_Stop, you’re going to drop us right in the-_

_-as soon as we fall we need to run-_

_-middle, this is such a bad idea-_

He found the hilt and wrapped his gloved hand around the metal, ignoring Rey’s frantic thoughts as his finger traced the button for ignition. He knew he would have to tilt the blade just right in order to avoid penetrating himself or Rey with the crossguard blades. Taking a moment to gather himself, pushing Rey from his mind so strongly that her head almost fell backward, he began to feel and pull from the Force. In order for this to work, in order for them to face these creatures he would need to draw upon the power of the dark side. It began to flow through him as he build upon the anger within himself; anger towards the situation they found themselves in, towards the newfound distrust and hatred he felt of his master, towards the strange emotions he now found growing within himself. Instantly Rey picked up on his meditations, the surrounding energy beginning to split and separate between them and he felt her desperately pulling onto the string that held them together, trying to pull him away from the direction his mind was leaning.

It was too late.

The blade ignited and instantly split the rope beneath them as they began to plummet towards the ground. As he fell, he tumbled once mid-air and landed his feet flat on the soft snow, knees bent and wielding his blazoned lightsaber in his left hand. The black creatures sat stunned, blinking slowly and observing their escaped prisoner who stood fuming and holding his bright red weapon. Before they could form an attack, Kylo turned to peer over his shoulder in search of Rey- to his dismay the girl unfortunately did not have such luck escaping. He found her hanging upside-down, her foot still tangled in the net above with her robe falling around and shielding her like a curtain.

“Rey!”

He ducked beneath her, reaching out his hand and using the Force to pull her from the tangled rope. She swiftly landed in his arms, shoving herself to her feet and pushing back down her robes. Before she could cast her glare at him, a movement caught their attention. There were four of the large beasts, now towering above him with their teeth bared, saliva dripping from the razor-sharp edges and falling into their rust-colored fur. The tiny black creatures sat upon the beasts, tugging at their long leather reigns and pointing the spears in their direction. Each of the beasts lifted their clawed paws, slowly stalking closer. As if in slow motion, Kylo and Rey both instantly reacted in drastically different ways. Rey’s eyes searched over the shoulders of the beasts, hunting for a route of escape and preparing her body to move. Kylo, on the other hand, lifted his right hand and gathered his energy, heaving back his shoulders and shoving the energy towards the nearest beast. It flew back and landed ungracefully on its side with a loud thud that reverberated in the ground, its tiny master falling with it into the snow. 

_Run!_ Rey screamed across their bond as she grabbed their supply bag and used the opportunity to dash through the opening Kylo created, pushing through the snow where the beast had stood a moment before. Deactivating his weapon, he sprinted to catch up as the other three beasts attempted to close in, their large bodies struggling to turn in the direction he was headed. The trees flew by as his long legs carried him quickly beside her, their bond buzzing as they ran side by side, shoulders bumping into one another. Occasionally they would duck beneath a fallen limb or spread out to avoid running into a wide tree, but they always found one another, joining together as they darted through the forest. The beasts were quickly gaining speed, their large frames bounding short behind. Their heavy bodies shook the ground and, if not for the Force, Kylo would most likely lose his footing and tumble into the snow.

He could feel Rey frantically reaching out her energy and scanning their surroundings, searching for somewhere they could possibly gain ground or hide. Unfortunately, all he could sense were the tall cliffs off in the distance that were too high to climb or the branches of the tall trees that were too high to reach. 

_There’s something this way,_ Rey exclaimed as she turned sharply, changing directions and frantically dashing towards a line of trees several meters away. Grumbling, he quickly followed behind. Thankfully he was able to catch up quickly just as she burst out between the trees, revealing a tall ledge that lead straight down to the frozen lake. She shouted, arms flailing wildly, urgently trying to swing herself back from momentum. He reached out, using his energy to pull her as she began to fall backwards, landing mere inches from the edge. Her chest was heaving as her wide eyes glared over and down towards the water and as he run up next to her he recognized the source of her alarm- several icy spikes rose ominously from the frozen depths of the lake below. 

He offered her a hand, helping her scramble back onto her feet. As she stood, her face close to his, her brown eyes casting a warmth that caught him by surprise.

“You saved my life.”

Quickly he turned away, avoiding her gaze. “We need to go.” He could feel the rumbling of the ground beneath them, the loud shrieks of the black creatures not far behind.

She nodded, taking a deep breath and pointing her free hand off to a cliff he could see not far from where they stood.

“There’s a crack in the stone that leads into a cave,” she huffed, voice hazy from exhaustion. 

He nodded for her to show the way, but as she turned to run he suddenly let go of her hand that he realized he was still holding in his own.

Before he could follow, the three beasts came bursting through the trees, their blood red eyes wide and searching for their prey, heads rearing as their masters pulled on the reigns. They each let out a boisterous roar, the noise pounding through his chest as he suddenly turned and whipped out his lightsaber. He ignited the blade quickly, turning to face the creatures.

 _Get out of here!_ his voice growled across their bond, urging Rey to use the distraction and run for the cave.

 _Are you crazy?!_ she yelled in return. He could feel her somewhere behind him, the electric hum of her power beginning to rise in the face of danger. The feeling of her energy, almost tangible and able to taste in the air, was familiar to him- the last time he truly sensed it being in the woods of a different snow-covered planet under much different circumstances. Now he was trying to help her stay alive instead of trying to kill her.

As one of the beasts began to charge, its heavy body bounding towards him at an alarming speed, he shot her one last commanding glare. 

_Go!_

Whirling back to his enemy just in time he caught the beast now leaning back onto its hind legs as it readied for an attack. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his chest forward and began charging towards it, closing the distance as the beast swept a clawed paw at his approach.

_Stop!_

He could hear Rey’s screams across the bond, pleading for him to run just as he slid onto his knees, the momentum carrying him. As he slid beneath the beast he hoisted his saber into the air, the blade digging into the flesh of its belly, bowels spilling onto the snow. Kylo cried out, his guttural yell echoing as he heaved himself from beneath the animal just in time before it fell to its end. 

_Let them be,_ Rey’s voice shouted to him. _They can’t follow us into the cave, just let them be!_

He ignored her, turning again towards another of the beasts as it began to charge.

_Kylo, stop!_

The rage burned through his muscles, pushing him forward, his mind set only with the intent to kill. The animal raised its thick paw, stretching its sharp claws and swiping it towards his abdomen.

Suddenly a large object fell from above and crashed into the snow, separating himself from the animals and sending him backwards. He scrambled and rolled in the snow, his eyes catching where Rey stood, leaning against a tree from where she had slashed down the wide branch. She deactivated her saber, latching it back onto her belt. Again eyeing the massive tree limb, he couldn’t help but to feel slightly impressed, quickly pushing the idea away as soon as it crept into his mind.

_Get up!_

Regaining his composure, he leapt to his feet and followed her into the forest once more, the beasts screeching and attempting to hobble over the fallen branch. After she led him towards the base of the cliff, she dove towards a slight crack in the stone and turned her body sideways to fit herself through, plunging herself into the darkness. He hobbled towards the opening, reaching a hand to his abdomen as he struggled to turn and squeeze himself through, the walls of the stone pressing into his ribs uncomfortable. He felt a sting in his lower right side as a hand grasped his arm, tugging until he finally fit through. Stumbling through the dark for a moment, he reached out to steady himself against the inner wall of the cave. As he attempted to catch his breath, Rey activated her saber, the blue light glowing and illuminating the small space. Her eyes reflected the light as they drifted across his face, landing on the spot on his side he was still clutching with his free hand. 

She gasped, reaching for him. “You’re hurt.”

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled as he pushed himself back into a standing position. “Let’s keep moving.”

Biting her bottom lip, she obeyed and led him further into the cave, lighting the way as they crept passed another thin walkway. Their path twisted sharply and he began to feel a cool breeze pass over his face, an indication that they were headed in the right direction. Finally the walkway opened up into a larger cavern, a small crack in the ceiling offering a tiny sliver of sunlight that cast across the uneven stone floor. He found a slab of stone resting along the wall, just high enough for him to sit comfortably, Rey following with her saber still in hand.

“Give me the pack,” he said as he motioned to the bag. “I can start a fire to help us-”

“No,” she stated firmly, grasping the strap along her shoulder. “You’re injured, Kylo. Please let me do it.”

To his own surprise he didn’t argue, continuing to sit as he watched her rummage through the bag and trying his best to ignore the growing burn gnawing at his side. Using his teeth, he ripped off his glove and jammed his fingers into the spot, noting the rip in his armor that felt damp beneath his touch. He had experienced worse pain, donning many scars from the many battles he had seen since his youth, including those inflicted by the girl before him who now stood before the small fire she had created. She turned her attention to him, standing and again searching through the bag. As she pulled out the tube of bacta gel and moved to his side, he pushed away her hand and turned away.

“Please, let me help you,” she pleaded, her voice almost a whisper. She held her extended hand, waiting patiently for his reply. Between the annoying pain and his growing need for water, he finally agreed to her help as she handed him the canteen from the bag. He leaned back onto his elbows and taking deep swigs before offering it to her and beginning to inspect his wound. The fabric of his armor was slightly torn, the claws of the beast much sharper than he had expected. She reached forward and tilted the canteen above the gash, holding back the ripped edges of the cloth as the water collided with his flesh. A slight hiss erupted from his lips, the water washing away the blood and grime to reveal a deep cut marking across his lower rib. She twisted off the cap of the tube and squeezed out the bacta gel, the cold from the gel and her fingertips causing him to jump from the touch. As she rubbed the healing cream into his skin he observed her from beneath the black hair that fell across his forehead, her eyes set and mouth twisted in concentration. For a moment, he was tempted to reach across their bond to see what might lie on the other side.

She noticed his staring.

“You saved my life.”

“I did,” he muttered as he grabbed the canteen, taking another sip.

“Why?”

The question was unexpected and he was unsure how to answer. Shouldn’t she just be grateful?

“Because… I need your help to finish this mission.”

She paused, staring at him for a moment as she considered his words, quirking an eyebrow- obviously not the answer she had expected.

“I don’t believe you,” she finally replied softly with a small hint of humor as she finished patching his wound with a bandage, placing the folds of his ripped armor back over the spot. She stood slowly and moved back towards the fire, plopping herself cross-legged on the cold stone ground. 

Pushing himself back up to a seated position, he gazed down at her handiwork and observed the bandage. Placing a hand over the wound, he noticed the stinging pain had already dulled into a slow ache.

“You should’ve let me kill the rest of them,” he mumbled as he stared down at where she sat. 

She leaned forward to place her elbows on her knees, chin resting in her hand. “Those things wouldn’t have made it through the cave,” she countered. “There was no need to kill them. We’re on _their_ planet, remember?”

“Yes, but we have no idea what else lies in these caves. What if they find another entrance?” he explained, waving his hand towards the other side of the chamber that led into another dark passage. 

She sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose as she closed her eyes. “Look, I’m tired of arguing since that seems to be the only thing we can accomplish,” she added testily. “I don’t want to argue, but I refuse you continue help you if you think I would be okay with you slaughtering every living thing we come across.”

“And I refuse to be a coward and allow myself to be mauled to death by some animal.” He felt the irritation rising within his chest and tried his best to swallow it down, shifting himself so he could stand and have a seat opposite her. Taking off his other glove, he began to rub his hands before the fire, attempting to return the feeling within his cold fingers. “I don’t want to argue either.”

She sat up straight, slowly tilting her head to the side as she observed him. “We may be enemies, Kylo Ren, but there is more to me than you know.”

He nodded. “That can go both ways.”

“We have this agreement, but I will not change who I am.”

_What if I wouldn’t want you to change?_

The thought crossed his mind without him noticing at first as he gazed into the fire, distracted by the dancing flames that sent shadows across their faces and the walls behind. He slowly realized that he had spoken across their bond, catching a glimpse of surprise in her eyes as they observed one another from across the burning reds and oranges of the fire. Finally he tore himself away, flattening himself onto his back to stare up at the ceiling and avoiding her stare.

“I agree to train you,” his voice broke the silence, flat and quiet. “I can teach you how to close off the bond from your end. But under one condition- we use the bond when it’s essential for survival.”

The cavern fell into silence, the crackling of the fire the only noise between them as she quietly contemplated.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get warrrrrmerrrrr (pun most definitely intended).
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think!


	10. Changes

After making temporary camp and resting for a short time, under Rey’s insistence, they quickly packed their items back into the bag and began to investigate the tight quarters of the cavern. Using the light of the small fire, they searched for any useful materials, a small pile of broken branches and twigs found near a dark corner, the wood broken and stacked neatly- an ominous sign that someone or _something_ had once been in the same cave. Along the opposite wall the stone floor declined slightly and followed a small path that led to a rounded entryway, a barrier of darkness found in the void beyond. Rey, and her ever-resourceful instincts, rummaged through the pile of wood and snatched up two short, wide branches. After wrapping the ends of each branch with long pieces of gauze from their medical kit and dousing it with a generous amount of bacta gel, she lowered them into the fire. She returned with the lit torches, handing one to Kylo with a slight smile of pride. He raised an eyebrow, hiding any level of impress, she assumed, and turned towards the opening in the stone wall that was now lit by their firelight. 

Since she had left on this journey with Kylo, the silence between them had been awkward and too much for her to handle. She felt the need to fill the silence even if it meant busying herself with her own thoughts. Now, as they continued their investigation into the frigid, winding underground tunnels she found that she was thankful for his cold shoulder. It was a moment to herself, a chance to gather her thoughts without his intrusion. Though their bond was strengthening and she had become more and more aware of his presence, a heavy weight pulling at the edge of her mind, she noticed his increasing strain to keep his end closed. She could hear his increased breathing as he pushed his barriers against her mind, occasionally catching glimpses of the muscles rolling and rippling from his working jaw. While he worked so hard to push her away, she was grateful for the privacy.

Hours passed as they twisted and turned through the endless tunnels, her feet shuffling against the floor that continuously rose and fell, the direction of their path changing so often that she felt as though they had been caught in a maze. She grew irritable, almost desperate to escape the increasing claustrophobic darkness of the stone walls. Finally, after what felt like eternity, they noticed a change in their surroundings. There was a sudden gust of warm air as they turned a corner, a strange contrast to the arctic temperatures of the planet they had become used to. Then she noticed a strange noise growing in the distance. A rustling- water, she recognized, as they rounded another corner that entered into a new cavern, much larger than the first, she noted by the echo of the noise against the stone walls. Their feet carried them to a high ledge overlooking the darkness below, the rush of water now deafly filling their ears. To the left of the ledge she could see the pathway begin to slope downward into the depths of the cavern. As she led the way down the path, Kylo trailing hesitantly behind, a bright light unexpectedly illuminated next to her feet- a deep purple suddenly appearing, a new point of light popping out next to her with each step. The lit objects were familiar, a color of purple that she recognized.

“The crystals,” she murmured as her eyes took in the sight- the small beings lined the path on both sides, continuing to illuminate the way as they descended. 

Kylo nodded. “We should be safe from them, as long as we don’t use the Force in their presence.”  
The crystals offered enough light for the rest of the cavern to be seen and Rey then noticed the source of the loud noise. A tall waterfall cascaded from a crack in the stone near the ceiling, a thick rush of water spilling down the middle of the cavern and into a shadowed pool below. 

As they reached the abrupt end of the path, forcing her boots to stop at the edge of the dark water, her first instinct was to run. Memories of the last time she had gone for a swim flooded her senses, the salt burning her throat, the depths of the sea on Ahch-To rising again to swallow her whole, dark eyes burning red into her mind. She turned towards Kylo, the same dark eyes now casting her a look of concern.

He stepped closer, eyebrows furrowed and reaching a hand to grasp her elbow as she wavered where she stood. “What is it?”

She swallowed, attempting to fold the memory away. She shivered despite the warm gust of air blowing across her face.

“I don’t understand,” she finally responded. “The path ends here, but I can feel another exit somewhere on the other side.”

He let go of her and peered across the pool of water, observing the solid wall on the far end. “I feel it too. There,” he pointed towards darkness. “We will have to swim across.”

Dread fell across her like a wave. The last thing she wanted to do was jump into water again after almost drowning just months ago, especially when the water seemed ominous and located on an unknown planet. 

“Take off your robe.”

Kylo’s words snapped her out of her worries.

“Excuse me?” She gripped and clung to the thick fabric in her fist. He responded with a roll of his eyes.

“They’re too heavy and will make it hard to swim,” he huffed as he shuffled off the sleeves of his own robe, staring at her expectedly and holding out his hand. Nodding sheepishly, she obeyed and tossed her robe to him as he stuffed them into his bag, zipping it tightly closed. With the strap of the bag now crossing his chest, he turned from her and waded slowly into the water. After he step he took, the purple glow of the crystals began to light beneath the shadowy depths. She watched him for a moment, taking a deep breath in preparation. 

“Is it cold?” she called out to him, the water now reaching to his hips, ripples reaching where she stood at the stone edge.

Stopping for a moment, several paces away, he turned to face her with a slight smirk across his mouth. “It’s warm,” he said, taking another step backwards. “You should probably get in.”

She bit at her bottom lip, reaching the tip of her boot into the water then stubbornly pulling it away.

“Give me a minute.”

As she continued to fret over her hesitations, frustrated with herself for showing such weakness while Kylo could watch and judge from afar, a sudden splash of water caught her attention. She watched as Kylo ducked suddenly under the surface, his arms flailing into the air as the crystals lit all around. A jolt of panic extended to her shaking hands as she leapt into the murky water, pushing with her legs until she could crouch down and swim towards him, following the line of glowing crystals. Water splashed into the air as he kicked and flailed wildly. Once she reached his side she was intent on grabbing his arm and pulling him back to the surface- however, before she could carry out her plan, she suddenly felt two solid objects snake their way around her torso, pinning her arms to her side. A scream left her throat as she copied Kylo’s movements, jerking and attempting to thrust whatever it was off of her. Just before she could reach the hilt of her saber, a deep, guttural laugh erupted and left her distracted.

Kylo, she realized, was not under water and being drowned by some kind of aquatic creature. Instead, he was behind her, holding her still with his arms as he shook with amusement.

“What? Get off of me!” she yelled, attempting to lean back and stomp onto his foot. He finally obliged, doubling over and wiping the water from his eyes. 

She wanted to rip the stupid smile from his face.

“Why would you do that?” 

He stood again, sighing as his laughter died away. “It got you into the water, didn’t it?”

After staring in disbelief, she reached an arm across the water and flung it toward him, splashing him once more. He turned a shoulder, his black hair now dripping as he used a hand to push it from his face. Surprisingly, he was right. The water was pleasantly warm, to her annoyance.

Attempting to push down her pride, she stumbled passed him and made her way towards the back wall. She placed a hand against the hard stone, slightly warm against her touch. Kylo joined her side, eyeing the solid wall from side to side as they searched for the exit. Rey knew it was close, could feel it within her- the call of something just beyond, the artifact they were hunting. It was close, so close, but she couldn’t figure out how to get through.

Kylo stepped back for a moment and she watched as he plunged himself underneath the water, this time much less dramatic. Moments later, he emerged again.

“There,” he pointed. “The exit. We have to swim through.”

Before she could argue, he took a deep breath and dove down once more. Cursing, she took her own deep breath and followed.

Opening her eyes and searching through the clouded water she could see an opening in the stone wall, exposing a blue light off in the distance. Kylo kicked his legs, propelling himself through the round hole just large enough for passage as his feet disappeared through the other side. As she approached, she noticed his arm reaching out to her and she grabbed it, allowing him to help pull her through. Once she was clear, she kicked furiously with her feet until she reached the surface, placing her feet on the ground and gulping for air. The buns of her hair were dripping and she pulled them loose, allowing her hair to fall wet across her shoulders. She gathered it in her hands, smelling of muddy earth, and squeezed as the water dripped into the pool. 

As she took in the view before her, the first thing she noticed was the enormous carving into the stone across from the pool. It was of a man’s face, nose long and small mouth parted, long hair and beard billowing and snaking across the massive wall. The eyes of the man held a symbol- curved, circular wings with a surrounding what looked like a bursting star rising into the heavens. It was the symbol of the Jedi Order, she knew, her senses suddenly sent ablaze. 

She was reminded of the moment she had first discovered Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber, the same ghostly whispers calling to her, beckoning her. She could hear the voices again as her body was pulled forward, pushing through the water toward stone steps, the water dripping from her clothing as she rose from the pool. 

Kylo followed behind her up the steps and onto the flat stone surface, at the top revealing several marble platforms rising thin and tall. Cracks and holes from high above in the ceiling casted beams from the moons outside, spotlights upon each of the stone figures. The voices called to her, rising with intensity as they drifted further into the cavern. She noticed a variety of objects resting on the top of each platform- spheres wrapped in golden casing, small cylindrical containers with faded lettering, holobooks lying with their faces dormant. 

“I can feel it,” she whispered, eyes focused on a platform near the back of the cavern. “The artifact.”

She noticed that Kylo had moved away from her side, distracted by the objects as he hovered above each platform, a sense of rage shadowing his features.

“What are these voices?” 

“They are remnants of the Jedi,” he murmured, his eyes glued to the artifacts. She noticed the intensity in his stare, a predator circling his prey. She wondered if he could feel the same pull, wondered how he would react if he could hear the same voices of ancient Jedi power, the light side of the Force tormenting his conflicted mind. The answer to her curiosity came as she watched him reach towards his lightsaber, fingers grasping the metal in his hand as he tugged it from his belt, eyes intent with destruction.

“Kylo!” she called out, distracting him enough to pull him from his trance. He turned to face her, gaze shifting from her concern to the weapon in his hand, halting his finger that lingered on the ignition. With a purse of his lips, he slowly placed his saber back to his belt.

“Are you okay?” She stepped towards him hesitantly, searching his face for remnants of the fire of his anger, finding flickering embers in its place. 

With a roll of his shoulders, he stepped back from the platform and joined her side. “Lets continue.”

They moved through the graveyard of ancient artifacts, Rey searching intently for the item they sought, Kylo’s eyes locked on his feet with fists clenched to his sides. She could sense his discomfort, his need to release his building rage. She steadied her breathing, attempting to extend her calm across the bond.

After a few quiet moments, only the sound of their footsteps echoing across the dark walls, they finally reached the final platform. She noticed the marble slab shining and reflecting moonlight, her heart pounding, knowing deep within her that this was where the artifact should be. As they approached, her breath caught in her throat-

In the place where a holobook should have sat was a small metallic object. Kylo picked up the object, turning it over in his hand as Rey leaned in to take a closer look.

“It’s a… flask?” Her question hung in the air, filling the void of silence. 

Kylo held the object in the light, the edges of the flask curved at the edges with lettering carved into the smooth side. His fingers curled around it, grasping it firmly as a growl emitted between his lips. Another wave of anger shot across their bond, and she reached out to take the flask. 

“M. C.,” she read, her thumb tracing the letters. “I don’t understand. What is this?”

“Evidence,” he grumbled as he turned sharply from the spot. She stared after him for a moment before following quickly behind, placing the flask back where it had been found.

“Evidence?”

Halting his steps, he spun around to face her, mouth twisted in chagrin, his teeth clenched. “Evidence of who has stolen the holobook.”

“I don’t understand,” she repeated, grabbing him by the arm as he continued stomping back towards the pool. She didn’t want to provoke his anger but she needed him to explain. “Someone has stolen the artifact?”

“Yes. And I know who has it.”

______ 

Hours passed before they were able to make it back to the ship. They took their time through the cave, mainly to ensure their clothing fully dried before heading back into the frigid temperatures of the planet. Rey was thankful for her warm outer robe that Kylo had packed safely into the bag, tugging up the collar as soon as they entered the arctic winds, cold biting the tip of her nose and causing her eyes to water. The sky had a soft glow with the promise of morning and there was a stillness to the forest.

They had discussed their plan of action- what they would do if the beasts were waiting at the entrance to the cave and how they would make the trek through the snowy hills. What they did not expect, however, was the peace and quiet they had found themselves as they hesitantly stepped into the cold. The snow trickled quietly in the dawn light, the serenity reminding her of the soft stillness of Starkiller Base.

After trekking through the snow, they finally reached the clearing where Kylo’s ship sat, a solid black heap against the white landscape. As soon as they stepped through the line of trees, she finally saw what she had expected- three giant orange beasts emerged from the shadows across the space, their heavy limbs shaking the ground as they approached and blocking the way to the ship. The black creatures clung to their backs, ready for an attack.

Kylo activated his saber first, the double crack of his crimson red the first offering of a fight, Rey quickly following suit in blue. They exchanged a quick glance, a nod towards one another in understanding.

Suddenly, without warning, the beasts closed the space between them as they pounded forward, the earth quaking beneath her feet and she tried to steady herself for combat. She leapt to the side as one beast leaned onto its hind legs, fiercely swinging its claws towards her body and missing by mere inches. Pushing with all of her strength, she swung at the huge animal with a forward slice, striking it across its front leg and leaving behind a deep gash. The beast wailed and tumbled to the ground just as the black creature hurled its spike, landing next to her as she rolled out of the way. She peered over at Kylo who was busy with his own pursuit as he slashed continuously, his saber swinging wildly as he taunted the beast that hesitated at his brutal force. She paused, noting that they each were busy with just one beast, and she began searching for the third.

_Watch out!_ Kylo’s voice came crashing through their bond and she felt the last beast coming towards her, spinning towards it and preparing to strike. She was unprepared for the sudden strike across her back, the claws of the animal becoming tangled in her cloak as it pinned her to the ground. The sharp teeth lowered ominously towards her face as it snarled. She squirmed, her breathing becoming erratic as panic started to set in.

_Go!_ she shrieked as she noticed him strike down his opponent, his blade rising from its barrel chest that now lay lifeless. He turned to her, ready to run to her side. _Get to the ship!_

At first he ignored her, darting through the snow as he tried to reach her. She grit her teeth as she tugged an arm free from her cloak, lifting it to push the animal back with the Force.

_I can handle this!_

She could feel the trepidation flickering from his end as he struggled to obey her command, his mind arguing against the very idea of following her orders. She also knew, however, that he could not deny her pure strength, though she was less experienced. Suddenly, as if reinforcing her thoughts, the engine of the ship began to rumble, the boarding ramp slowly lowering towards the ground. The ship began to hover and although she couldn’t see into the window of the cockpit while she struggled with the weight of the creature holding her down, she knew that BB-8 sat proudly behind the controls. She would have smiled if it weren’t for the saliva of the beast that now threatened to drip onto her face, the claws of its free paw missing her skin by inches. 

With one last glance, Kylo finally bolted towards the moving ship and grabbed onto the metal as he pulled himself onboard. The ship slowly moved closer and she struggled against the heavy animal, trying her best to tug her body away from the robe. As the ship neared she could see Kylo standing just at the top of the ramp, hand extended towards her as he tried to steady his balance. Finally shimmying her other arm from the cloak, she pulled herself free and rolled, hurling her body away from the animal as quickly as she could manage, the cold snow biting the exposed skin of her shoulders. She jumped to her feet and charged, avoiding another swing from the beast, as the ship neared her position.

“Rey! Take my hand,” Kylo yelled above the noise of the ship and the growling of the beast as it changed course behind her, beginning to charge.

She ran with all her might, arms swinging at her sides and the cold air stinging her throat. With the ramp moving closer and closer she leapt into the air, boots clanging against the metal as she landed, his hand outstretched towards her. She shuffled, reaching for his hand as he pulled her back into the main cabin. Landing with a groan, she fell forward onto her stomach and flat on top of Kylo’s hard chest. Their eyes grew wide, each with surprise, as they pushed away from one another and scrambled to their feet. BB-8 barreled towards them from the front of the ship, beeping urgently and pushing its metal body repeatedly into Kylo’s leg. Again he obeyed the orders of someone else, this time being the droid, as he rushed into the cockpit and took hold of the controls. Rey followed behind, grasping the back of the pilot’s chair where he sat, watching the large orange blobs fade away along with the surface of the planet.

Once the ship exited the atmosphere and finally entered the darkness of space, Rey peeled away the tight grip she held on the chair. Kylo stood suddenly, stomping towards the central cabin as she followed.

She placed herself into the cushioned seat next to the table, finally exhaling a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding.

“What do we do now?” she asked as he brought out his holomap, the blue specs of the galaxy illuminating the space. “Back in the cave you said you knew who had the artifact.”

He nodded, dark eyes set as his fingers swiped away at parts of the map, highlighting a new sector with interest.

“Care to let me in on your plan?” 

“M. C.,” he mumbled, tilting his chin in concentration. “The letters carved into the flask. I know what they stand for- Matatheran Cartel.”

This caught her attention. “Cartel? What in the hell would the cartel want with the holobook?”

“Greedy men will steal whatever they want, if it’s worth the price.” His fingers lingered above the image of a new planet, lips pursing as he glazed over the information it projected. After a moment he returned to the cockpit, punching in the coordinates and entering the ship into lightspeed. “Luckily for us,” he continued, “the planet with their main headquarters isn’t located far from here. We should be able to get there in time before we need to refuel.”

She continued following him as he moved into the central cabin. “I’m still confused… Why would they leave evidence behind? Why would they want someone to come after them for stealing it?”

“Because if someone was in desperate need of the artifact, they would know who to go to with money in hand.”

He paused as he turned towards her, waiting for more of her questions. They never came. Her body was exhausted, mind almost equally so. She was unsure how long they had spent on Bakarr, the short camp they had set in the cave the only rest they had in the last day or so. She felt the pangs of hunger but was too tired to do anything about it, her body begging for the healing of sleep. She turned slowly towards the back cabin, hesitating for a moment as Kylo made his way to get comfortable once again in his cramped pilot’s chair. A pang of guilt hit her suddenly, imagining his tall frame awkwardly twisting and turning in the seat.

“Kylo.”

He sighed, as if expecting her to add another thought to the conversation and prolonging their sleep.

She chewed her bottom lip, mulling over her thoughts. “You don’t have to stay in there. You can stay with me- in your own bunk, I mean.” She felt a heat spread across her cheeks, her tiredness weighing down on her choice of words.

Kylo’s eyes met hers and she noticed for the first time that they were not as dark as she had thought, each iris a deep warmth of brown. There was something there, something she couldn’t quite place, but she felt a strong tug from his side of the string.

Without speaking, she offered the bottom bunk to him and tugged off her boots before climbing into the top bunk. He waited until she was settled before making himself comfortable and she could hear him removing his own boots, peeking over the side of her bed as he removed the outer layers of his armor. With a flick of his hand the light overhead went out, the only glow coming from the controls from the front of the ship. BB-8 hummed quietly in the cockpit, occasionally popping his head through the doorway (most likely to keep an eye on Kylo and his intentions, she assumed).

“You used my name.”

She could feel his confusion, hear him roll under his sheets to lie flat on his back. “On the planet. You stopped calling me ‘scavenger.’ You used my name instead.”

Although she couldn’t see him from her bunk, she felt his pulse quicken across their bond. There- she swore she had sensed that same strange feeling again for a split second. Then it was gone, his end of the bond quickly slamming shut.

It felt like something had been ripped suddenly from her, leaving behind a gaping hole that stole the breath from her lungs. It was strong, whatever it had been, and she felt strange lying there in the silence with its remnants. She couldn’t explain it- maybe it had been exhaustion, maybe the loneliness she felt being away from her friends, but suddenly she felt the overwhelming need to reach out to him. Rolling onto her stomach, she placed her hand onto the mattress, imagining it was extending passed the barriers of the bed and instead resting over the echo left from his beating heart. After a time, the weightlessness of sleep finally took over.

What she didn’t know, as her mind drifted away into her dreams, was that beneath her in his bunk Kylo held out his own hand, palm extending out and resting on the metal frame just below where she held hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the majority of this chapter was written during my 9 hour road trip. I stayed up all night trying to edit and finish because I was so exited to post. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Please, feel free to leave me suggestions/feedback. I love to hear it!


	11. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaaaappy holidays. I think you'll enjoy this one. ;)

Grasping the object in her hand, she tugged and pulled, almost falling backwards if it weren’t for the rope clutched in her other hand. Finally pulling it free, she placed it into her pack before repelling to the ground below, feet thudding against the metal floor. There was a rumbling in the distance, a sound of movement that alerted her of other raiders coming to do what they always did best- take and steal. She pounded for the exit of the abandoned ship, the high sun of Jakku casting its haze, the heat reflecting off of the sand and hitting her like a wave. It was what she was used to, the blazing fire of the dry desert. Her home. Her prison.

Tugging her makeshift goggles over her eyes to shield the bright sunlight, she darted for her speeder. The rumbling in the distance continued as she swung her leg over the scrap metal and revved it into life, speeding away in the direction of the outpost. 

The day’s schedule played over in her head, how she planned to gather all of her scavenged items to take to Niima Outpost for cleaning and trading. She hoped by the end of the next few hours she would be back in her decaying AT-AT with at least a quarter portion to get her through the night. Her stomach rumbled just from the thought. She saw it more as a necessity to refuel rather than actual food.

There was another deep rumbling, much louder than before. She peered over her shoulder to see a darkening to the sky, the sun suddenly blocked from her vision. Deep black clouds began to accumulate in the air, swirling and circling, a storm looming just over the sandy hills. It churned and twisted closer, connecting to the ground as a thick sheet of darkness. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusing, tugging on her controls to drive faster, the clouds growing into a monstrous storm now at her heels. The metal of her speeder shook, rattling in defiance against her need to go faster and get to safety. Suddenly the junk metal sputtered, hovering to a stop as it sunk heavily to the ground. She scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as she could, legs burning as she pushed against the sand- but it was too late. As she swirled around while clutching her salvaged quarterstaff, the storm loomed mere inches away, swarming menacingly. She realized she was trapped, her arms shook as she clutched her weapon and dug her heels into the sand, readying herself for combat. 

The thick clouds formed a wall between her and the rest of the world, secluded behind churning darkness that occasionally flickered with a shock of lightning. First there was a presence behind the storm, bodiless eyes following her every movement, something so dark that it sucked the heat from the ground and made her shiver. 

Then she heard the whispers.

They were sharp, casting some sort of spell as her feet suddenly froze. The voices were sharp and icy, so different from the warmth of the whispers in the Jedi cave. She was unable to move, placed in a trance as she watched the dancing black flames swirl closer to her face. Cold, ghostly fingers began to snake their way through the clouds, extending their wicked tendrils for her. The breath caught in her throat as she prepared to be engulfed and torn apart.

Suddenly, the presence was gone- replaced by something so different, something that radiated a light and pulled her like a magnet. She could feel its struggle, feel as it tried to push away the first presence. She wanted to reach out to this new ghost, _her_ ghost, she wanted to call it. Her hand lifted towards the menacing darkness, eyes wide and searching for this presence, her ghost. A thin line extended from the cloud towards her, a line of smoke hovering just before her fingertips. Every hair on her body stood, the electricity coursing through her.

As her skin neared the darkness it recoiled from her touch, turning just as suddenly as it had appeared. The sunlight suddenly blanketed over her once more and the storm barreled away from her with such fierceness, moving faster and faster as she began to chase after it. Her legs slipped, weak, as she stumbled into the sand and landed on her elbows. She gazed up, watching the clouds slip over the hills.

In that moment, she knew the identity of her ghost, knew that he was desperate to stay out of her reach, knew that he was hiding alone in his darkness.

Suddenly there was a sharp noise, a pounding alarm that echoed through the wind and the edges of her surroundings began to rip apart, fading away. Her eyes popped open, sudden consciousness bringing her back to the present as her vision was blurry from sleep. She rubbed at her eyes, rolling onto her side within her top bunk. She took a deep breath then plopped herself out of bed, feet scuffling as she moved towards the front of the ship. 

The round outline of BB-8 caught her attention first, followed by the bright red lights flashing and reflecting against the metal walls of the cockpit. The droid rolled and moved about, flipping switches and twisting wires behind panels, beeping at her all the while as if to say _”About time! I’m almost finished!"_

“What’s the problem?” she asked, blinking repeatedly to center her vision.

The droid beeped furiously, turning a knob and pressing a last series of buttons as the red lights finally flickered off and were replaced with the regular yellow and white controls. The jammed sensors that had been the source of the issue finally resolved as BB-8 rolled backwards, observing its work in satisfaction.

She rolled her eyes, turning back to the cabin. “Well you don’t have to be so pretentious, it’s not my fault I was aslee-“

Her words were cut off as she turned to see Kylo hovering mere inches behind her in the doorway, his chest heaving underneath his tight black shirt, sweat beading along his forehead as he peered around the space with intensity. Rey found herself distracted momentarily, realizing this had been the first time she had ever seen his arms exposed, the long rippling muscles defining the curved shape beneath his pale skin. Several scratches and cuts from the previous day’s venture caught her eye just before she heard a loud cough, turning her attention back to the solemn face of the man before her. 

“What’s going on?” His voice sounded heavy with sleep.

“There was a problem with a sensor, but it looks like BB-8 has resolved it,” she said as she straightened her posture.

He observed her for a moment, nonchalantly lifting his arms to bend his elbows and place his hands behind his head, scratching at his thick black mane. There was a heaviness behind his stare, something that made her tense, unable to look away and she wondered for a moment if he had used the Force to freeze her in place. A smirk threatened the corner of his lips and as she felt his energy hover over her mind, most likely reading her thoughts, but it fell away just as quickly as it came, replaced by the stoic mask he tried to wear so well. His arms fell as he turned and walked into the darkness of the cabin behind. 

She hesitated, foot hovering over the threshold, the darkness and Kylo Ren before her, and wondered if she should follow or stay behind in the light of the blinking controls. There was a clinking noise, the sound of liquid being poured into a glass, and her curiosity brought her forward. She shuffled, hands extended in the darkness as she found her way to the seat beside the table. 

Quickly her eyes adjusted and she was able to see Kylo bent over a countertop, wrestling with some small package before turning and stalking towards the table with two glass mugs in hand. He sank into the opposite seat and scooted one of the mugs closer to her. The images from her dream flashed in her mind suddenly, the dark swirling clouds hovering close to her hand as she tried to reach out to him, mirroring how quickly he pulled away from the glass mug before she could place her hand on his, grabbing his own drink and hiding his face behind it. 

_How strange. Why would he make me something to drink as if he wants me near just to hide and push me away?_ she wondered. He coughed, placing his mug back on the table and she tried her best to stifle her thoughts.

She raised her own drink, taking a deep whiff- it smelled of herbs, a deep earthy smell with a slight hint of pine.

“It’s a tea. Valerian root,” he mumbled, voice still thick and deep from fatigue. “I drink it when I can’t sleep. I figured you might need some.”

She quirked an eyebrow, surprised from the gesture. “Thank you.” She lifted the warm tea to her lips, letting the taste wash over her tongue- then coughed suddenly. It was more bitter than she expected and she wiped her mouth with her sleeve. The same smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth.

“The flavor is a little strong.” He took another sip as she placed her mug back down. 

Silence fell over them once more. She could feel him watching her as she toyed with the handle of her drink, slowly spinning it around on the table. She wanted to talk to him, to ask him about the dream, have him explain what she had seen. She wanted, _needed_ to know about the evil presence she had witnessed within him, if it was evidence of the hold his Supreme Leader Snoke had over him. Instead, she avoided his gaze.

“So this Matatheran Cartel,” she whispered, finally breaking the silence. “How are we going to find them?”

He swallowed, shifting in his seat. “I know of their location. The First Order has had dealings with these people- we’ve bought materials and have traded with them before. I personally know the man who typically handles their valuable items for buying and selling. I plan to set a meeting with this man.”

She nodded as she listened intently. “So we will buy the artifact from him?”

“No,” he said, pursing his lips. “It won’t be so simple. The First Order typically does business using spies and other middle men, not usually the master of the Knights of Ren. We can’t trust to hire anyone to get the holobook for us without someone leaking the information to the Supreme Leader and he’ll be interested in knowing why I would want a Jedi artifact.” He paused for a moment, his brown eyes searching her face. “I’ll need you to steal it from him.”

“You… what?” It took a moment for his words to catch up to her. “ _I_ have to steal it?”

“Yes.”

“And how exactly do you propose I do that? I have no idea what I’m looking for.”

“Yes you do,” he grumbled, taking another sip. “You felt it, just like I did through the Force. I can direct you to where it should be held- he usually keeps the most valuable items hidden away in the back of his mansion. I can set up a meeting to distract him while you sneak in and find the holobook.”

“But how will I know which rooms to search?” she asked, rubbing at her tired eyes.

 _I can direct you,_ his voice boomed across their bond, so strong and unexpectedly that it made her jump in her seat.

 _Point taken,_ she replied as she picked back up her mug and took a deep swig.

After a short time they finished their tea and she was pleasantly surprised to feel its effects, the fuzziness from the need for sleep now returning to the edges of her consciousness. They stood and started to return to their bunks, shuffling towards the back cabin. 

The thought of sleep reminded her again of the dream and the curiosity, mingling with the sudden courage that only the late night could bring, began to eat at her once again. As he prepared to duck beneath the bunk to settle into his own bed, she reached out a hand and grabbed his arm.

Electricity, a warmth shot through her fingertips and up her arm, a feeling she had never felt before and she realized this was the first time she had ever really touched his skin with her own. She took a deep breath as he turned, unable to read his expression. She couldn’t tell if he had felt it, too.

“Are we going to talk about these dreams?” Her cheeks felt numb as she spoke. Beneath her grasp she could feel the hardness of his muscles, the curve of his bicep as he pulled himself away. He moved again to get into his bed.

“How can you pretend like this isn’t happening? Whatever this is between us?” Her voice sounded more desperate that she intended, but she was glad that he stopped, his expansive back hunched as he paused. Suddenly he whirled around to face her, his deep brown eyes searching hers wildly. She could feel his breath against her face, see the parting of his lips she just realized looked so big and soft. His mouth reminded her of the thick, juicy tangerine she had tried at the Resistance Base. She noticed him clench his jaw, the muscles working beneath his skin and she repressed the urge to feel the movement with her fingertips. 

Suddenly he took a deep breath and leaned close to her face, gritting his teeth menacingly. For the first time she wasn’t frightened or irritated by his anger, instead feeling a jolt of excitement shooting through her core. It was strange, almost embarrassing, but she couldn’t suppress the feeling. She wasn’t sure what it was but she wanted more, wanted to test his waters that he was obviously struggling against. His fists clenched as he slammed one against the wall above her head.

“You need. To quiet. Your thoughts.”

His words were clipped, voice a low rumble. She flushed, the blood rushing to her cheeks that suddenly felt hot. They stayed like this for a moment, their heavy breaths mingling together in the small space as both of their chests heaved, exasperated. She tried her best to focus her stare in his eyes, avoiding all senses that wanted her to wrap her arms around his large frame and feel the ripples of his back, avoiding the need to close the space between them. He didn’t move either, fist still held above her head as he hovered, black hair falling into his face. 

Finally he pushed away, moving rigidly to his bed. She watched him roll over, turning away from her, and she felt herself begin to shake. It felt like the warmth had left her body, replaced with an empty cold as she tried to catch her breath. After a few moments she followed suit, holding onto the edge of her top bunk and she pulled herself up.

That night it took a long time for sleep to return. When it did, she was dreamless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the fire has been set.
> 
> I am so trash. This burn is too much fun. I hope you enjoyed even though it was a little shorter than usual. I'm on my way today to see TLJ for the second time and wanted to post this in celebration. 
> 
> Thank you to those who have left such kind and encouraging words. This one was for you.


	12. Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-beta'd.
> 
> We've been waiting a while for this one. *starts internally screaming as she posts*
> 
> Enjoy!

This is beginning to be a problem.

He tried to focus on their mission, on finalizing details of their meeting with the cartel, on how to appease the dominating control of the Supreme Leader who is waiting for his update. Each time he tried to envision the pasty skin and intense stare of his leader or the smug rat face of General Hux, anything to help keep his focus on what he _should_ be thinking of. Instead his mind’s eye gradually transformed each image into silky brown locks that he wanted to run his fingers through, the deep chestnut eyes that glinted with such bold courage and unknown power that he was left in wonder each time he gazed into them.

To make things worse, her flighty mind that at first was distracted by thoughts of her traitorous friends at the Resistance was now replaced by thoughts even more disturbing than his own. That night she projected every image- her fixation on his body, his lips, her thoughts of how he would feel underneath her touch that blazed against his skin and…

It took everything in him to steady himself, to turn away from her. The ideas that her thoughts inspired caused his throat to go dry, made him immediately ashamed. Beyond the sudden magnetic force between them, beyond the connection of their minds and unexpected attraction, what meant the most was the way she looked at him. It was the way she ran to him when she thought he was injured in the cave. It was the way her warmth suddenly filled him and closed the void that he held deep within himself, the same void he saw mirrored within her, the emptiness that usually told him he would never be enough. The way she looked at him made him feel for the first time that he could be enough- he _wanted_ to be enough.

He needed a shower. A cold shower.

This problem needed a solution. He knew he would ruin her, destroy her just as he had destroyed everything that he touched. The light within her, the same light that tormented and ripped at his soul, was what made her shine within the shadows of the darkness. It was the fuel to her strength and sheer nerve that drove what defined her. He wanted to protect her light that was his beacon, keep her torch safe from being snuffed out by his tainted touch. It was too late for him, but saving her from the darkness was now his only purpose. He needed to save her from himself.

As he sat down for their first training session, watching as she sat cross-legged across from him and closed her eyes in meditation, as he showed her how to build her walls and block herself from his end of their bond, he made his decision- whatever this pull was that he felt towards her had to end. No more.

He only hoped he would be strong enough follow it.

______________

Hours later they found themselves on the planet Coruscant, shifting through the crowds of the city as they neared a hotel they would be staying at while he had his ship refueled and readied for his trip to the Finalizer. Coruscant was mostly under First Order control after the attacks from Star Killer, most politicians and followers of the Senate offering loyalty to their cause. With so many eyes and ears of the First Order on the ground, Kylo knew the Supreme Leader would catch wind of his presence on the planet and would expect a report of his mission’s progress. His master expected him to capture Rey and find the information needed to complete the weapon- not too different from his true plan of gaining Rey’s temporary alliance and finding the information to _destroy_ the weapon, making it much easier to slightly tweak the details of his update. 

Rey followed as they entered the lobby of the high-class hotel followed closely behind by BB-8, her eyes lighting at the high ceiling and golden chandeliers. Remembering that she most likely had never seen a place of such extravagance and made from deep pockets. He thought of her makeshift shelter on Jakku he had seen from her dream, imagined her curled up to sleep inside the cold metal of the abandoned AT-AT. He felt his anger rising and immediately attempted to close off his mind before she could sense the direction of his thoughts. Thankfully she seemed distracted by the droids clad in white and black metal that bustled about the lobby floor carrying shiny gold trays filled with a variety of food and drinks. He was thankful for the shield of his helmet, biting back an amused grin as he watched her.

“Welcome to Coruscant. How may I assist you? Oh! Excuse me.” The young female attendant, who at first was busy arranging the items behind the desk, looked up and immediately recognized him, the casual tone to her voice dropping and replaced with shaky unease. His posture straightened as the sign of feared respect. “Good afternoon sir. Should I prepare the penthouse suite?”

Rey finally joined his side, her ears perking at the mention of the penthouse and he swallowed at the thought- one bed, one shower, sound-proof walls…

“No,” came his modulated voice, deep and assertive. “A standard room will suffice.”

“Would you prefer one bed or two?”

“Two. Wait,” he corrected himself. “Two separate standard rooms.”

It took everything in him to avoid Rey’s gaze, curious of her reaction. Instead, he faced forward, glaring through his shield as he hovered over the desk.

Fingers tapping along the computer, the woman sensed his urgency as she quickly placed their reservation and handed him the card keys. She offered them a complimentary bottle of wine before waving for a droid to show them to their rooms, both Kylo hastily declined. 

Rey, and that stupid rolling droid, followed him into the elevator. As the glossy golden door sliding closed behind them, she quickly turned to him.

“Care to inform me what we are doing here? Why aren’t we staying on your ship?”

He ignored her stare, focusing on his reflection in the door.

“I have business to attend to. In case you’ve forgotten, I _am_ the Master of the Knights of Ren. I have the Supreme Leader and my men to report to.” He sounded cold, more than he had intended. “I will be back before the morning. In the meantime, you will need to oversee preparations for the meeting tomorrow.”

The door to the elevator sprung open and Rey tilted her head curiously as they made their way down the wide hallway, their boots echoing along the marble floors and walls. 

“Preparations?” she asked curiously. “I thought we went over this- you distract the guy while I sneak in, steal the thing, then get out.”

“There’s a little more to it than just ‘steal the thing,’” he grumbled impatiently, casting his eyes side to side as he searched for their rooms. “You’ll have to study the layout of the building, study the schedules of the guards who _I guarantee_ will be patrolling the halls, wait for your armor fitting-”

“Wait, what? Hold on, armor fitting?” she interrupted, voice rising several pitches. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

He felt himself growing irritable and was thankful to finally find the first room, swiping the key as the lock clicked and pushing the door quickly open. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her inside with him, slamming the door behind. Once they were out of earshot from anyone who may have been eavesdropping in the hallway, he pressed the release on his helmet and tugged it off of his head. She lowered her eyes at the helmet, glaring with disgust.

“I hate that chunk of metal,” she continued. When would she stop talking? “Why are you wearing it, anyway?”

“Because it isn’t my face that can get us into places like this,” he hissed through grit teeth. He took a deep breath, attempting to quell his impatience. “You need to wear something that will keep you hidden and will help you avoid any traps that might be set. This cartel- the man we are meeting with tomorrow- expects others to try to steal from them. It’s part of their business. When you’re constantly paranoid of being attacked, you tend to increase your security.”

Her eyebrows scrunched together and she swept her hands over the front of her tunic, picking at the long, tan fabric as she pursed her lips indignantly. “I like my clothing, thank you very much.”

“You need to take this,” he said, ignoring her comment and rummaging a hand into his bag. He pulled out a small, rectangular datapad and held it to her. “I’ve uploaded information about the mansion, including a detailed map and guard schedule. Tonight you will study this information and wait for my orders in the morning.”

She looked wildly between the datapad and his tall frame, her expression wrestling between confusion and disbelief as she took the object in her hand. “Since when do I answer to your beck and call? I expect you want me to stay inside the room all night too?”

He nodded, replacing his helmet, her eyes reflecting the expressionless metal. “Yes, I do. We can’t risk any chances of someone seeing you here alone, especially any First Order officers. You can’t leave this room unless you are with me, do you understand?”

Taking a step towards him, she squared her jaw defiantly. If it weren’t for the seriousness of the situation, he would almost say he was proud of her tenacity.

Before he allowed her to rebuke any further, he made a quick gesture to their surroundings- it was a modestly sized room filled with elaborate furnishings. Long chaise lounges face the tall windows covered with black draperies, the plush bed along the far wall adorned with shiny, silvery silk linens and thick pillows. A black wardrobe sat in the far corner, and to the left of the bed was a dark doorway most likely leading to the bathroom, he imagined. Her eyes followed his movements, taking in each feature as her angry front started to falter and was replaced with admiration. Behind her came a beep of approval as BB-8 zoomed across the room, rolling over and getting caught slightly in the long curtains.

“I trust you will find your accommodations to be adequate,” came his deep modulated voice as she returned her attention to him. 

“I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. Not even the Resistance base…” She trailed off, most likely deciding to avoid the topic, another reminder of their opposite ends of the war. Instead, she asked, “Where will you be staying?”

Reaching into his pocket, he turned awkwardly to the wall behind him and faced a second door, grasping the metal handle in his gloved hand. “I will be staying in this room,” he replied. “Our rooms are connected, in case of emergencies.”

She quietly nodded and stared at him blankly, her features unreadable as she waited for him to either continue speaking or leave. He didn’t want to wait around, so he went for the latter.

As he opened the connecting door to his room, he heard her cough lightly.

_Be careful…_ Her voice was soft as it rolled across their bond. He turned to peer at her over his shoulder.

_You too._

_______

The moment she heard Kylo leave his room, listening for the slam of the door behind him, she ran to the window and waited until his black frame was gone and out of sight. Since their training that morning on his ship, she had been diligently practicing her ability to close him off from her mind, waiting until the moment as just right and safe enough to listen for any messages from her friends. Once she decided the coast was clear, she darted over to BB-8 who finally, after some struggle, had figured out how to detangle itself from the curtains. 

“BB-8, has the Resistance sent us any updates?” She leaned down, crouching on the ground next to his round body. 

Its head rolled to the side, chirping several times as it observed her through its black lens. She jumped with excitement at the response.

“Excellent!” The rush of adrenaline pounded through her chest as a smile rose to her cheeks. “Let’s hear it, then.”

The droid rumbled slightly, preparing to project the images of her friends. First she saw Finn who left her all sorts of updates on their condition, cleverly talking over a recent mission they had completed without divulging any specific information or locations (which she could tell he had been extremely proud of based on his familiar goofy grin that she loved and missed terribly). Next was Poe who asked of her whereabouts as well as inquiring about his favorite droid (in which BB-8 beeped enthusiastically). Finally, she had a short message sent from the General herself. 

The moment Leia’s soft eyes appeared in the projection, Rey almost dropped the mug of tea she had made herself, a gasp emitting from her lips. For a moment Rey thought she had been peering into the eyes of Kylo, the same rounded shape and flicker of warmth reflected in that of the woman’s son. It had taken her by such surprise that Rey could barely hear the General’s words above the pounding of her own heart in her ears. In those same eyes, Rey could see a mother and son both equally heartbroken and both equally desperate.

BB-8 sensed her distress and quickly halted the messages, turning towards her and beeping curiously. Rey took several deep breaths, trying to steady her unexpected emotions.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” she huffed as she placed her tea on a nearby table. “That’s enough for now. Maybe we can send them a message later.”

In that moment there was a knock at her door and she startled at the sound, slowly rising and moving to investigate. BB-8 rolled speculatively behind her as she peered through the peephole and pulled open the door. Placed neatly at her feet was a wide white box wrapped in a clean black bow, a small note sticking out from the top. Rey quirked an eyebrow at the box, BB-8 squeezing beside her feet to help her peer up and down the hallway, inspecting for anyone sneaking away into the shadows. There was no one to be seen, not a single noise, and Rey decidedly plucked the box from the ground and brought it inside her room. After placing it on her bed, she pulled out the note and began to read the words scrawled in messy cursive.

“To be worn tomorrow. Please ensure all materials fit correctly.”

Although it wasn’t signed, she knew who had sent it and immediately rolled her eyes. 

Tugging off the bow, she pulled open the lid of the box and peeled back the tissue paper found inside. At the bottom of the box was a heap of black fabric- _fitting,_ she thought, _since black seems to be the only color on Kylo Ren’s color wheel besides red._ As she grasped the thin material in her hand and held it up for inspection, her eyes grazing over the shape of the armor. Hesitantly she tugged off her own garments, placing her pants and tunic neatly on the ground, and attempted to try on the new outfit that had been chosen for her. The fabric of the new pants felt soft against her touch but was strong and sturdy, stretching against her calves as she pulled them up towards her torso. It was tight, she realized, but hoped there was an outer layer that would cover the bits that she wasn’t used to having accentuated. As she rummaged through the box she came across the top- another tight-fitting garment with short sleeves and not leaving much for the imagination. She didn’t bother with the arm bands and utility belt, too disgusted to continue playing dress up as she quickly pulled the outfit back off immediately threw it back down into the box in disgust.

“No!” she yelled, pointing accusingly at the lump of fabric, turning to face BB-8. “Who in the hell does he think he is, sending me things like this. I’m not his _doll_.”

The droid beeped slowly, as if to say _well, he did explain why they were practical._

She crossed her arms firmly across her chest. “He can’t make me wear any of this.”

_You’re right, he can’t. And he also can’t save your ass when you get caught._

Biting her lip, she stewed over the thought- wear this practical getup and feel extremely objectified or wear your regular clothing and exchange comfort for safety.

“Fine,” she spat, tossing the box and its contents to the floor. “I’ll wear it, but I won’t like it. And you need to watch your mouth.”

Later that evening, after hours of studying and looking over blueprints and guard schedules for the mansion, she felt her patience begin to falter and mind begin to wander. She found herself staring out the window, hand placed on the glass as she traced the lines of the people walking back and forth on the street below, pod cars racing one another through the air. The sun was beginning to set, casting shades of orange and peach on the horizon that gradually developed into hues of purples and blues. It was spectacular, the lights and sounds, movement above and below her high-rise room where she sat comfortably, peacefully. 

She should have relished in the moment, a time to sit a relax without any other obligations, the calm before the storm. But as she watched the bustling city below she wanted nothing more than to be a part of it all, so different from the solitary confinement of Jakku’s sand dunes. 

As her mind wandered, a glowing light from across the street down below suddenly caught her eye, the tall letters a bright pink and blue that spelled out **_Wookie’s Cookies_** across the side of the building. 

_Mmmm… cookies._

It was another reminder of the things she had been deprived of on Jakku, never having the luxury of eating the sweet little confections. She had always wondered what they tasted like- any flavor, really. Unfortunately the Resistance was already low on specific resources and the mess hall only had whatever daily rations were available, rarely offering the occasional fruit let alone any baked goods. 

Her eyes grew wide, and she turned quickly to grab the room key from the table. BB-8 watched her, moving away from the soaps it had been inspecting in the bathroom and whirring intensely as she approached the door.

“I don’t care what Kylo says, I’m not staying cooped up in here all night.”

The droid beeped quickly and she sighed.

“He doesn’t understand- I took care of myself my entire life. I think I can handle this place, too.”

BB-8 tilted its head sideways, observing her judgmentally.

“Besides, it’s just a walk across the street,” she said with a wave of her hand towards the window. The droid sat motionless, continuing its intense stare. She felt a small tremor of guilt, adding, “You want to come, don’t you?”

It spun to life, beeping intently as it rolled towards the door, leading the way.

After exploring through the hotel while searching for the exit, _man this place is a never-ending maze_ , Rey finally burst onto the sidewalk outside. Although the sun had completely set, the night could not dim the lively city as streetlamps and shops lit every inch of darkness. She watched the crowds of people rushing by, peering up and down the street until she finally found the direction of the cookie shop. Slowly she followed behind a small crowd of Galleens who approached the edge of the sidewalk, halting suddenly at the crosswalk sign that was illuminated in red. BB-8 rolled passed Rey’s legs and almost flew into the street and in the way of an oncoming cruiser. Rey shot out her foot to stop the droid, pulling him back to her side. 

“We have to blend in,” she mumbled as she leaned down, pretending to straighten her pants. “Let’s start by trying not to get ourselves killed.”

The droid beeped sheepishly as the sign turned green, the crowd suddenly pushing forward as Rey and BB-8 followed across the street. As they approached the shop she felt her chest fill with excitement, the lights filling her eyes as she stopped to peer into the street window. There she found shelves with rows and rows of different little confections, each tagged with labels of various names of things she had never heard before. The top row had several assortments of brown cookies, each stuffed with dark chocolates or little candies. The second row held different cookies that were either square shaped and glazed or topped with icing and sprinkles. The third row held small, rounded cookies of every color imaginable, their crispy shells sandwiched between some sort of creamy center. Their labels read **_macaroons_** followed by some type of flavor variety, and Rey licked her lips in excitement. She had never seen such a display before, the colors and smells starting to make her heart race and she struggled to decide on which one she should try first.

As she prepared to step inside the shop, following behind a mother with her small children bobbing along through the doorway, she stopped suddenly. Her feet froze in place, eyes casting to the sky as a familiar cloud began to haze the back of her mind. She felt it coming this time. She could anticipate the vision as her bond with Kylo began to tighten, the string between them twisting and sending a vibration across from his end. It was coming, inevitable, she knew, and she needed to prepare herself.

“BB-8,” she called out to the droid, her eyes already starting blur. “Help me…”

She could see the outline of the droid appear at her side, its little mechanical arm suddenly jutting out from its compartment as it grasped the fabric of her pant leg. Tugging her along, BB-8 was able to pull her from the crowded sidewalk and into a shadowed alleyway, first scanning to ensure it was empty and safe from sketchy individuals. Rey plopped herself down onto the dirty ground, steadying her head in her hands as the vision began to take over. BB-8 whirred and chirped concernedly as it inspected her then spun around protectively to block her from any passersby from the street.

_”…entrusted you to carry out this task. Do not fail me yet again, my young apprentice…”_

There was a voice- a deep rumbling, as if two rough stones were grinding together beneath the ground. The sound of it shook within in her chest, matching the increasing beat of her heart- Kylo’s heart? She knew she was beginning to connect through him, just as she had done before. Her vision was still blurry as she tried to focus on any discernable shapes surrounding her.

_”I have captured the girl,”_ came the gruff, mechanical voice through what she knew was Kylo’s helmet. It didn’t tremble though she could sense the unease rising in his throat. _”I have her kept under my guard.”_

Gradually her vision became clearer and she could see the color red- a vast wall of the bloody color, a large dark object in the center. It was some sort of throne, she could tell, holding tall slender figure she knew to be the source of the deep voice. She could sense an overwhelming darkness emanating from the figure- something so wicked and so vile that she almost felt like she would be sick. There was an ache in Kylo’s core, the void that she sensed within him beginning to rip and fray slightly at the edges. It was the source of Kylo’s darkness, the presence she had seen in their shared dream that pulled him into the storm. She knew it was Snoke.

Once she recognized the scene before her, Kylo’s energy immediately started to push her back along their string. Her mind must have been loud enough for him to sense her too as he tried to push her out of his own mind and she tried desperately to grasp at the string, holding on as her energy dragged slowly. She didn’t want to leave him alone with Snoke, _couldn’t_ let him face the darkness that tore apart at his soul. She knew he didn’t want her to see this side of him, to once again witness his darkness when he had shown her the light that he usually kept hidden away. 

There was another rumble- the deep voice emitting a low chuckle of amusement. 

_“You are using her, I can sense it. Turned her into your plaything, have you?”_

Plaything? Her teeth clenched at the word and she resisted the urge to lash out at the vision. Or had it been Kylo that wanted to lash out? She wasn’t sure, their emotions beginning to mingle through their connection. Suddenly, she felt a pinch from his end.

_Don’t listen to him._ It was Kylo’s voice, his true voice reaching across their bond. _I need you to leave._

_“I plan to keep her under my guard until I am able to return with the Jedi text that you seek.”_ This time Kylo’s helmet answered his master, leaning down to take a knee as he bowed to the frail being sitting on the throne. 

Snoke hummed as he observed Kylo beneath a scrutinizing gaze. _”Your bond with the scavenger is growing stronger. I can sense her, even now. Does she know of your intentions?”_

She could feel Kylo nodding in response.

_”Good.”_ Snoke leaned forward, resting his elbows on the armrests and rubbing his ghostly fingers along his temple. Kylo continued to rest on one knee, sweat beginning to damped along his hairline beneath the mask.

_”Your task is halfway complete and it has taken you much longer than anticipated. While the girl is under your careful watch, she has still been able to train with Skywalker who still evades your capture. Do you still owe your alliance to the cause?”_

_”Yes.”_ Kylo’s voice spoke so surely, his answer true. Hearing his continued support to the First Order, even after all of the time they had spent working together, made her heart sink.

Snoke stood suddenly, stalking slowly closer towards where Kylo crouched on the ground. _”Then perhaps we should strengthen your power to encourage you to complete your task._

Panic began to rise as Kylo shoved against her even further, pushing her away. She tried to hold on, her energy swirling with his. 

_Don’t do this alone,_ she pleaded.

_You need to leave. Now._

She pushed back against him, desperately trying to keep her hold on their connection. She couldn’t leave him, not like this.

_You shouldn’t see this._

_I won’t let you push me away._ She could feel warm tears beginning to streak down her own cheeks as her vision slowly began to fade. Though their bond was strong, Kylo had a much stronger control of it than she had.

She knew something terrible was about to happen, an echo of dread casting between them as they both watched Snoke approach.

_Don’t let him do this. Come back to me,_ she begged him. He continued to bow to his master, motionless. 

_Rey, I can’t._

_Stand up!_ She was practically screaming to him, scrambling to try and control his body. _Stand up, damn you. Fight it!_

Suddenly she felt his body lifting, thrown into the air with the Force as he was held there, Snoke raising a controlling hand. There was a stillness to the air- cold, the void pulled wide open as the darkness swelled around Kylo’s floating body. 

_Please. Go._ It was his last plea, his voice growing distant, though his actions betrayed his words as his energy lingered for a moment, entwined with hers. She thought she felt it, a desperate longing for her help.

But it was over, ripping from her as a flash of light shot across the room towards Kylo- his body shook the moment it connected with him, lightning branching and snaking around every inch of nerve. The pain was electrified across their bond, a thousand needles stabbing into her skin, growing deeper and deeper until it punctured her insides. She screamed, tried to grasp any piece of Kylo’s consciousness that was still left in their bond as his surroundings faded away.

Then suddenly, almost as quickly as the vision began, she was shot back to the present, trembling on the ground as the echo of pain left her body. She gasped for breath, heaving as she pushed herself shakily to stand, leaning on BB-8 for support.

The darkness she had witnessed, such evil being casted to someone she cared for was too much. She felt the bile rising in her throat.

_Why didn’t you fight?_ Her voice casted across the emptiness of their bond, the wall he build against her impenetrable. _Why won’t you let me in?_

The void- _his_ void mirrored her own, which sat aching and throbbing deep within her. She couldn’t let him face this alone. She wouldn’t let him be tortured by that vile creature and believe that he deserved it. He needed her, even though he would never admit it, but for a brief moment she had felt it from him. 

She began to walk back towards the hotel, her knees wobbly as she strode with determination.

If she couldn’t reach him through their bond, then she would have to use other means…

_____________ 

Kylo returned to the hotel long after the sun had set, the four moons rising high in the sky as the the streets of the planet-city was found bustling with the late night spirit. Various races passed him on the sidewalk, most avoiding the gaze of his dark helmet, and he tried his best to hold his strong, dominating posture until he finally reached the hotel, stumbling into his room and tugging off his armor.

His whole body ached, the electric burn of the Supreme Leader’s power still dissolving in his tissue and veins beneath his skin. He was thankful the “training” session had been relatively short compared to those he experienced in the past, especially since the girl had intruded on the private moment.

_Rey._

He almost wanted to whisper her name, to see if she was still awake in her room. As he stalked towards the bed, he peered over at their connecting door and listened carefully for any shifting noises, any signs of movement from the other side. He still firmly held the barrier on their bond that he had casted while in his master’s throne room, too afraid of hearing anything from her end. He didn’t want to know her thoughts on what she had seen, didn’t want to feel her disgust towards him and the darkness still within his soul. There was nothing he could do. The same turmoil of both sides of the Force still tore him apart since he was a child, and there was nothing he could do to hide it from her. His allegiance fell with the First Order, with the ultimate power he knew to be true, and he felt her anguish when he admitted it. 

Perhaps it was a good thing. This is what he wanted, right? To push her away, to stop any sort of deep connection between them beyond the Force bond that held them together. He had even told himself that he would destroy her, knew they should never be together. He knew that once this mission was over they would have to return to their opposing sides of the war, find themselves once again battling from opposite ends of the battlefield.

It was too much. The thoughts swirled around his weakened mind and he was too exhausted to torment himself even further, although he knew he deserved it. Sleep called to him as he fell back against the pillows, not even bothering to tug the blankets over his cold skin.

As his consciousness started to fall, he heard a soft noise somewhere in the distance- a door closing? He wasn’t sure, too tired to bother opening his eyes. Rolling over onto his stomach, he sighed heavily into the plush pillow beneath his face. 

There was a depression in the bed next to him, a weight pushing down against the mattress. He felt fuzzy, heavy with sleep, unable to move, though he knew something was out of place. 

Two hands placed themselves on his exposed back- a light touch at first, so warm that it caused goose bumps to rise against his pale skin. He turned towards the touch as it sank deeper against him, rubbing the sore muscles along his shoulder blades. His breathing deepened, melting beneath the hands as they roamed down along both sides of his spine, traveling back up and massaging into the back of his neck.

_Mmmm…_

He couldn’t stop the hum emanating from deep within his throat as the touch settled into his skin and brought forth a tingling sensation, one he had remembered feeling once while on his ship when the girl had grabbed his arm-

Reaching out, eyes still weighted closed by exhaustion, he hooked his arm around the small frame that hovered over him, tumbling the figure down flat into the pillows next to him. He could feel the tickle from the strands of her hair across his face as he rolled onto his side, breathing in the floral scent. Her hand hesitated next to his cheek, emanating the warmth radiating from her skin as it hovered just above, unsure and almost shy.

_Why did you push me away?_

Her voice was a soft whisper across their bond.

_I didn’t want you to see that part of me,_ he mumbled sleepily. 

_You can’t hide from me. We’re connected now, remember?_ Her hand finally grazed his cheek, his skin tingling from her warm touch. _I don’t want you to hide from me._

He felt weak, not just physically but mentally, struggling to focus on his choice of words. _I have to hide from you._

_Why?_

_Because… I care for you._ The grip of his arm around her waist tightened, pulling her closer as he settled comfortably. He was delirious, he knew, but he couldn’t help himself.

As she moved closer, her breath tickling his chin, she wrapped her hand into his hair, entangling the long black locks in her fingers as another shiver rippled through him.

_You don’t have to be afraid of this,_ she whispered. _You don’t have to be alone._

She may just as well have been whispering spells into his ear, her voice a light purr that stirred something within him, something that he thought he had gained control of.

_Ben…_

His eyes shot open, his heart leaping as he took her in- her hair splayed over his pillow, her gaze a beacon that he wanted to bask in, her soft skin against his. Her lips were parted and he studied them, their round shape so full and so ample, waiting so patiently as he watched them quiver from her breathing, entranced. 

_From the moment our blades touched in the forest, on Star Killer…_ He couldn’t stop himself, the words escaping before he could catch them. _The moment you had closed your eyes and reached into the Force. I knew in that moment that I had never wanted something so badly in my life._

The squint in her eyes softened as he spoke, her hand in his hair slowing to a stop as she listened.

_I’ve wanted you, ever since that moment._

Something trickled from her side of the bond. It wasn’t pity, he knew. It was empathy, a mirror image of his longing, his need to belong with another person. It was the need to feel as though he could complete her, and she could complete him.

_You aren’t alone. I can help you-_

He pushed himself up, elbows on either side of her head as he hovered above, her words halting in surprise. He leaned forward against her neck, breathing in her scent as her own breath shuddered in his ear.

He was done with words, done with the mess he had created between them. With exhaustion taking over, he knew there was no way he could explain himself to her. No. He wanted to show her, instead.

Placing his large hand along her jawbone, he tilted her face up towards him, letting his thumb trace the line of her lips, his eyes watching as her tongue danced behind and he wanted so badly to taste it.

_I would give you everything_ , he murmured as he leaned closer. _I want to show you everything in this galaxy, everything behind the power of the Force..._

She didn’t reply, only shifted so their lips barely grazed one another. Her heart sang across their bond, pounding beneath his own. His other hand slid against hers and placed it above her head as he gazed into her eyes, searching for her permission. She nodded, the edges of her mouth curling into a smile as he finally crashed his lips onto hers.

She writhed beneath him, her small but strong frame curling against his touch as he grabbed her waist, tilting his head to deepen their kiss. He was afraid to pull away, afraid she would disappear if he let go. A small moan escaped from her mouth, churning his desire as a growl deepened in his throat. 

When he finally pulled away, chest heaving for breath, he looked beneath him and realized he had been right- he was alone, his dream slowly fading away, leaving him with the emptiness of his hotel room. He peered over his shoulder, noticing their connected door was still locked, and collapsed onto his back, falling against his cold sheets. 

He traced a finger along his full lips, still tingling from her touch, and he knew that she had shared his dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this was a long one, my longest chapter so far, but I was struggling to find a good stopping point. Hopefully I made up for it.
> 
> Also- Rey would absolutely go bananas for some cookies. I stand behind it.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and please feel free to leave me your feedback.


	13. Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took much longer to finish than anticipated, so many apologies for any glaring mistakes.
> 
> See notes at the end.

Rey hesitantly opened the door, accepting the golden tray and dismissing the service droid as she quickly closed the door using her foot and hobbled back into her hotel room. She wasn’t sure if she had _explicit_ permission to order whatever she wanted from the breakfast menu, but she figured begging for forgiveness would be easier than asking for permission.

Lifting the lid to the tray and casting it to the side, her eyes became alight with excitement- whatever the strange item she had ordered from the menu looked much better than it had sounded, picking up the round bantha biscuit and turning it over in her hand. As the lifted the flaky crust to her mouth, inhaling the buttery scent and eyeballing the questionable side of blue sauce she had been given, there was a sharp knock at her door. Immediately she sensed an uneasy presence, knowing full well that Kylo loomed on the other side.

Her heart leapt to her throat as she dropped the biscuit from shock, the crispy baked good clattering back onto the glass plate. 

_Really? Why couldn’t this wait until after the food?_

She stood and ran her fingers through her hair, taking a deep breath as she stepped unsteadily towards the door. Her bravery from the night before and long faded into the light of morning as she now faced the repercussions of her actions with uncertainty. Would he ask why she came to him in his dream? Would he want to know if she felt the same? Or, she swallowed harshly, would he want to continue what they had started?

Her legs moved quickly, her shoulders stiff, serving as evidence of the tension she held within. Did she want to run? No, she assured herself. While what had transpired the night before was more than enough to make her cheeks flush and heart thud in her chest, she knew that she had made the right decision, knew that she could still see it- the light within him. No matter the façade or mask he wore for the world to see, she knew of the wound within his soul, the same she had seen in herself. When she touched his wound, she could feel him touching hers- in that moment their pieces fell into place. Their strength became one. 

_Could this be what Snoke had sensed?_ she wondered. Perhaps Snoke knew of their increased strength when they were together, explaining why he wanted to create a weapon to use their power for his own benefit. If Snoke couldn’t turn her to the darkside, then he could use her and Kylo as his pawns, his own personal wells of Force energy. 

She tried to shake the idea from her mind, hand resting on the door handle. 

In that moment, she was left at a crossroads. She could open the door and pretend like nothing had happened, stifling every awkward emotion that was rising inside her or… Or she could rush into his arms, grab the man by the shoulders and show him his worth, show him how much she believed in him. She wanted to ask him to come home, to show him the happiness that he deserved.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open-

Kylo pushed his way into her room, slamming the door behind him as he stood at full length, his tall frame hovering over her. He was unmasked, his fists held tightly and she could feel the fury radiating from him.

“You didn’t follow my orders,” he seethed as he pointed a gloved finger accusingly. 

She took several steps backward and he pursued her until she bumped into the table.

“I heard several reports from patrols,” he continued, “of ‘the scavenger girl’ roaming the streets last night and causing a scene. Does this sound familiar?”

Her hands gripped the edge of the table as her eyes cast to the floor, avoiding his intense stare. 

The silence only fueled him further. “What did I tell you about keeping out of sight? What were you thinking?”

_So, it’s going to be **that** kind of morning._

“I don’t follow anyone’s orders!” she snapped, facing him and squaring her jaw. “I don’t know if you remember, but I don’t come from the most glorious corner of the universe. I had to face off against criminals and thieves my whole life, so I think I can handle myself!”

“Do you understand what I had to do to keep this from reaching the Supreme Leader’s attention?” Though his words came through clenched teeth, they were said with less intensity.

She had forgotten of the possibility that Snoke would find out about her whereabouts, imagining the damage control Kylo went through and she began to feel a tinge of guilt. But only a tinge.

“I only went across the street! There was this cookie store, and I’ve always wanted to try-”

“One hour,” he interrupted her suddenly as his fist slammed onto the table. “Be ready to leave in one hour.”

_________________ 

Maliste Dubar was a squat human male with dark hair and a mustache that reeked of extravagance and unlawful activities, the white suit he wore an even larger indication of his character. As he twisted in his seat, eyes reflected in a dark mask across from him, he motioned for one of his service droids with a tray of various drinks. Kylo waived away the offer, settling into the uncomfortably stiff armchair.

“What a surprise,” Maliste grinned, taking a green olive from the toothpick in his drink and popping it into his mouth. “When informed of this meeting with the First Order, I never imagined I would be meeting with _the_ Kylo Ren.”

Kylo squared his gaze, holding his posture high as he listened. He knew exactly the type of man he was speaking to, the type of man who is loyal only to one- money. And the First Order usually offered enough for dealing with the Metatheran Cartel. 

“Business is going well, I see,” Kylo said as he took in the surroundings, the long archways of the second story veranda adorned with lush curtains and opening into the wide view of the cityscape. The sun was resting high, still early in the day, he noted, as his eyes momentarily scanned the grass grounds below. He knew Rey should be on her way, anticipating at any moment she would alert him of her progress. 

“Indeed,” Maliste said with a rub to his mustache, smoothing back the dark hairs that lay flat along his upper lip. “Weaponry seems to be a hot ticket item nowadays. As we both know.”

Thankful for the cover of his helmet, Kylo shifted his gaze and returned his attention to the man.

____________ 

She cursed under her breath as she heaved herself over the ledge of the open window, twisting one leg up and over and landing on her feet, careful to stifle any noises that might alert the kitchen maids bustling about the room. While experienced with climbing and squeezing herself into awkward spaces, what Rey was _not_ used to was doing so with such tight and uncomfortable clothing, the slick black fabric already sneaking into places she hadn’t seen with her own eyes in quite some time.

Before she was able to fully situate herself, a droid carrying a large sack began to approach the cabinet in which she was resting against. Her eyes darted quickly around, searching her surroundings and weighing her options. A large doorway to her right stood ajar, the room beyond cast in darkness, and she turned sideways and quickly rolled her body in the direction, scrambling once inside to find something else to hide behind. Using her shaky hands to guide the way, she determined the room to be some sort of pantry based on the rows of shelves and tall wooden barrels lining the side. She ducked behind one of the barrels, leaning an arm against the wall as she caught her breath.

_Are you even trying to be careful?_

Kylo’s voice came snapping across the bond, dripping with worry as he most likely sensed her distress. His chastising was enough to spur on her own irritation. Did he really have such little faith in her?

 _It would be a lot easier if I didn’t have to wear this garbage that you call armor,_ she grumbled, reaching a hand around to tug the fabric out of her backside. _Stupid thing isn’t practical. I keeps getting stuck in my-_

 _I don’t want to hear about that,_ he quickly interrupted. She could feel an echo of discomfort from his end, possibly embarrassment? She wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t about to let it go.

_Well, this was your idea in the first place. It’s your fault we’re in this predicament._

_No,_ he quipped impatiently. _If it were up to me, we would take what we need, regardless of who stands in our way. But since you refuse to be efficient about this, it looks like we have no choice._

She peered over the top of her barrel, searching to see if the coast was clear. Moving towards the door and taking one last look to the kitchens, she turned down the empty hallway, using her knowledge from the holomap as a guide.

_I’m not just going to kill to get what I want. That’s not who I am, Kylo._

_Then don’t get caught._

____________ 

Kylo leaned ever so slightly back into his seat, the pressure from the breath he had been holding tightly in his lungs releasing. 

Rey had finally made it inside successfully, his plan set in motion. He was thankful to hear from her across the bond, no matter how annoying she may have been while complaining about his choice of armor- which was extremely practical, damnit. (Much more practical for the task at hand compared to the loose, dirty uniform she typically wore, at least.)

He knew she was resilient and more than qualified to get the job done- in fact, he trusted her with this more than he probably trusted himself, but he couldn’t help the anxiety that rose in his chest. The cartel was nowhere near the level of the First Order, but he knew the security in the mansion would still be tight and securing the artifact without detection would prove to be extremely difficult. To add fuel to the fire, he could feel every wave of her tension through the bond as she turned every corner. 

Maliste had been droning on and on about a recent trade route the cartel had opened, gaining control of a sector previously used by a rival gang. Kylo had finally found a moment to speak between the storytelling as he raised a hand and motioned for the man to quiet. Maliste took the hint, voice trailing off as he noticed Kylo’s authoritative gloved hand. 

“Show me your wares.”

“Well, you cut right to the chase, don’t you? I like it.” The man chuckled nervously as he shifted in his seat, crossing a plump leg across the other. “Let’s get down to business then.”

He knew the conversation would need to last long enough for Rey to reach the artifact. He tried to reach out through the Force to get a sense of where she was, thankfully splitting his attention between her and the trivial conversation. She was somewhere near the utility room, he knew, the smell of freshly laundered linens almost reaching across their bond.

 _Be careful,_ he cautioned her one last time before returning to the conversation at hand. With a roll of his eyes behind the helmet, Kylo replied to the man. “Proceed.”

____________ 

After waiting impatiently for the utility droid, who had been painstakingly folding linens and placing them into a cart, to finally exit the room, Rey hastily stepped inside and silently closed the door behind. 

Eyes scanning her surroundings, she knew she had only moments before the next droid would enter the room, chewing on her bottom lip as she scrambled. She spotted the air ducts lining the perimeter of the high ceiling, metal shining against the bright fluorescent lights. Using her arms, she lifted herself on top of the machinery and reached towards the vent above her head, hurriedly squeezing the latch with her fingers to release the metal flap. The moment the vent released, a cloud of dust and lint tumbled down into her face and hair as she shoved her eyes into her elbow, stifling a cough. There was movement outside in the hallway, she could hear- inhaling through her nose and holding her breath, she pulled herself into the dark hole, sticking her fingers into the vent and tugging it closed just as the second droid entered the room below, rolling towards the spot she had just been standing. She held her breath, trying her best not to sneeze from the flying dust, watching and waiting. The droid stood still for a moment, staring- then, suddenly, rolled towards a rack along the side wall, pressing a series of buttons and continuing its scheduled work. 

Once the droid left the room, she began scooting and shuffling through the duct, dust settling around her as she attempted to spit and wipe the small clusters landing on her mouth. The walls of the metal tube were just high enough for her to crawl uncomfortably on her hands and knees, trying her best to stifle her noises as she moved. 

_Where are you?_

She eyed the next vent she approached, the faded light the only beacon in the dark tunnel. Below she could see the first hall, two fall figures adorned with white armor- definitely mirroring that of a stormtrooper, most likely fans of those First Order pawns, she noted with a roll of her eyes- strolling across the glossy marble floors.

 _Guard 17 passing guard 34. Right on schedule, above near the main hall_ she added, taking a moment to wipe the lint from her eyes. _Remind me to kick you in the shins really hard once I get out of this dust trap._

As she continued to crawl, mentally noting each twist and turn as she searched her mind for the route she memorized, _right, right, slight incline, left_ , she couldn’t help but note the awkward movements of her body. Her elbows grew tired as they bumped against the metal and she occasionally took short breaks, flattening out her arms as she leaned down her torso, her backside awkwardly hanging in the air. Every few minutes she could feel Kylo’s impatient presence across their bond, trying to determine her progress. Once, during one of her downward dog stretches, she could feel a brush of curiosity from his end before abruptly disappearing- and she hoped beyond all hope that he couldn’t see what she was doing. A heat rose in her cheeks, and she was unsure if it was her own or if it came from him.

_Remind me to definitely kick you in the shins. Twice._

Thankfully, he stayed silent.

In the distance she could hear a distinctive _ping_ , searching through another vent and catching a droid exiting the small elevator as it pulled a meal cart behind, the metal trays clattering as it rolled down the hallway. She let out a sigh of relief. 

Once it turned the corner, she released the vent and quietly hopped down to the ground, escaping the dirty tunnel and finally taking a clean breath of air. She stifled another cough as she brushed away some of the dust that collected on the front of her dark armor, using her fingers and tugging off the tie that held the bun of her hair, shaking out the remnants of clumps. 

Suddenly there was a noise from behind, someone shuffling and moving her way, and she froze, eyes wide. She whipped around, searching for somewhere to hide- a dark doorway to her right, and she darted just in time as a guard, _number 12 a few minutes early_ , she noted, began to approach as she ducked and slid behind the open door of the room. Through the crack she could see the guard stalking down the hallway and her heart pounded in her chest. 

Kylo’s presence came immediately, his warmth almost a comfort.

_I sense your distress._

She tried to suppress the jolt of panic as the guard paused just beneath the vent she had left open, her glaring mistake hanging just above his head and he peered into the duct and suddenly turned his gaze towards the room. She raised a sweaty palm to cover her mouth and nose, silencing her breathing. The guard squinted suspiciously and began marching towards the room, stopping just beyond the door she hid behind. Her mind scrambled, desperately searching for a solution to her predicament, wanting so desperately to curse Kylo for putting her in this position, for making her face this alone. What would happen if she got caught? She would most likely have to fight. The guard held a blaster to his side, so a fight that would involve more than just knocking him out before alerting the rest of the guard. This fight would involve violence- something Kylo would probably enjoy, something she was trying to avoid. 

As she stood, trembling as she was sandwiched between the door and the wall, the guard finally gave up on his search, strolling back to the open vent. She watched through the crack as he reached up, grabbing it with his hand and closing it, the latch clicking in the silent hallway. Once he turned on his heel and strode back down the hallway, she released her shaky breath.

_Rey?_

Her chest rose and fell, her head feeling dizzy. She slowly closed the door once the coast was clear, stepping into the room as head spun, trying to catch her breath that seemed almost impossible in the tight armor. 

_Answer me._

The forceful surge of anger from his side of the bond was too much, sending her over the edge, almost blinding. Panic was filling her, overflowing, spilling through the cracks of her hard shell. She tried desperately to steady herself, leaning against a nearby armchair as her hands scrambled against the fabric wrapped around her torso, fingers gripping the bottom edge of her tunic and yanking it upwards, freeing her ribcage as her itching lungs filled to the brim. 

All of her frustrations came crashing down in that moment, her mind swirling, searching for an anchor.

This was entirely his fault, that smug bastard. He was probably enjoying this. He probably enjoyed putting her in this position, pushing her to the edge, making her choose between her personal values. She didn’t believe in slaughtering people to get what she needed, couldn’t fight her way to get what she wanted. He was pushing her to her limits.

And beyond her present situation, what about the night before? How could he continue pushing her away? Pretending like nothing ever happened. He was so good at pretending, so good at hiding what he didn’t want the world to see. 

She was so tired of pretending.

In that moment, that very moment their lips had touched, the moment he bared everything to her- she felt him. It was so different than the kiss she shared with Poe that night at the cantina- something shared between the love for a friend, hollow or empty of any need. With Kylo she had felt so much more. In that moment he was raw, unbound, exposed as his mask was ripped away. It was there, and she felt him. _Saw_ him- the young man, lost, forgotten. _Suffering._ She wanted to scream at him for allowing his life to continue this way.

The rage filled her, the same darkness from her dream so many nights ago beginning to taunt her, pulling at her rough edges. He was there suddenly, Kylo, drawn magnetically to the strange darkness, watching, most likely waiting to see what she would do with it. 

She took several deep breaths, hunching her back, the muscles of her abdomen beginning to ache, but with each breath she felt the darkness begin to slowly fade. 

She knew he could see her, standing there with her shirt drawn and breast band exposed, and she almost wanted to relish in the control it made her feel in that moment. They stayed that way for a while, a standoff of who would look away first, until finally she felt him pull back.

 _Don’t mention him again._ There was a sting of emotion from his end- jealousy? Envy?

 _Who?_

_That pilot_ , he spat, venomous. _I won’t be able to stop myself if you show me that image of his hands on you one more time. I’ll have him begging to be put back in the interrogation room._

A shiver rippled down her spine. She tugged her shirt back down and stood straight, finally catching her breath. 

_You’re off schedule._

_This isn’t finished,_ she quipped as she turned back to the door. _You might be good at pretending, but I’m done. I won’t pretend anymore._

_Get back to work._

____________ 

The man’s short, plump fingers flipped through the holographic images, each time offering an essay of information for every new weapon design. Kylo sat slightly distracted, tilting his head sideways as his neck cracks, attempting for force himself to think of anything, _anything_ , other than that filthy pilot. _Anything_ other than that expanse of milky skin, the movement of her ribcage as she breathed, that waistline that would look so small beneath his large hands… He was starting to regret his choice of armor.

He suddenly felt very warm and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, nodding occasionally to appear as though he were actually listening to Maliste’s constant chatter. He hesitated at the edge of their bond, building a half barrier to avoid her full thoughts while still being enough to detect her whereabouts. She was close to the vault, he could feel it, the jedi object so close.

Maliste suddenly closed the projection, the blue light fluttering out and snapping Kylo’s attention. The man planted his hands on his knees and pushed himself to his feet.

“I have introduced you to our new models,” Maliste began as he waved a grandeur hand towards the hall behind him. “Now, sir, I will show you our wares, located in our upper vault-“

Kylo shot from his seat, standing so suddenly that Maliste took a step backwards to avoid a collision. Immediately the cogs in Kylo’s mind began to work, determining the best course of action. If he were to allow the man to accompany him to the vault they would surely catch Rey red handed. If he were to try and stall, on the other hand, it would most definitely raise suspicion- Kylo Ren was not known to be a man to take his time doing business. The only solution would be for the girl to get the object and leave as fast as possible.

____________ 

_You need to hurry._

The door to the vault swung open, Guards 12 and 7 lying unconscious on the floor as Rey stepped over the threshold. Unfortunately she learned that she did not have enough practice to fully Jedi-mind trick two people at once, but she did, however, discover that bashing both of the men in the back of the head with the hilt of her lightsaber would suffice. She wanted to avoid violence as much as possible, but the two men were very confused and very hostile once she rounded their corner. 

_What do you mean?_ she asked as she entered the massive vault, the lights flickering on as she moved with each step. Rows of shelves lined each wall from top to bottom, filled with a variety of items ranging in sizes and menacing purposes. _I’m in the vault right now._

Her fingers grazed along the glass shelves as she moved, eyes closed, reaching into the Force, skin beginning to tingle as she moved further and further into the room.

_Exactly. We’re on our way there. I can’t stop them._

Her eyes popped open. He sounded urgent, his voice apprehensive, almost concerned. It was of a strength she had never heard from him before, and she knew he was right. She needed to hurry.

The object was near, she could tell, as a strange hum filled her ears, drawing her near. She feel it radiating through her fingertips as she strode to the back of the vault. Her eyes roamed a middle shelf, grazing over a series of idle holobooks of differing ages, some shining in the overhead light while others with faded metal. She swept along the back wall, stopping before each book and observing their features, until she finally approached the final book in the row. It sat dormant, its small screen slightly cracked and blank against the dull frame. Her heart leapt as she hovered above and as the screen suddenly burst to life and began to glow a bright shade of blue, she knew she had found what she was looking for- the Jedi artifact.

Reaching to her belt, she grabbed her lightsaber and activated the blade, carefully swiping it along the enclosed glass and creating a small opening. She reached inside, returning her weapon, as she grasped the holobook and pulled it from its false resting place. Placing it in her palm and taking a good look, her thumb gently tracing the symbol etched into the rough metal along the edge. 

She wanted to jump, leap through the air and run to Kylo, show him that they finally had what they needed to defeat Snoke, finally had what he needed to free himself. 

_I’ve got it!_ she shrieked across the bond, spinning wildly around to dart from the vault. _Kylo, it worked, your plan worked. I have the holobook-_

She halted in her tracks. The two guards she had knocked out stood in the doorway and blocking her exit. Simultaneously they raised their blasters, readying for their attack. She pulled out her lightsaber and ignited the blade once more, spinning to catch both of their blasts as they ricochet and pounded into the wall. The men stepped backwards, continuing their blasts as she followed them into the hall, swinging wildly to try and counter each attack.

 _You have to fight back. It’s the only way we make it out alive._ The urgency in Kylo’s voice increased with each word, sounding as though he were exerting his own efforts. She wondered if the rest of the guard had been alerted, if he too had been under attack.

She advanced on the guards but still kept her distance, allowing them just enough room to continue their shots. She shook her head, biting her lip in frustration. _I won’t!_

Her heart pounded, sweat dripping down her back from her exertion and she searched frantically for a place to run, but each door was firmly locked. The men suddenly stopped at the end of the hall, noticing her passivity as they doubled the succession of their shots, one almost grazing her shoulder if she hadn’t ducked in time. She cursed under her breath, unsure of how much longer she could keep-

Suddenly the men before her paused, their quiet blasters leaving behind a blaring silence and she watched as the two fell sideways into one another, knocking heads before crumbling to the floor. As they fell, they revealed a tall, dark figure standing behind, gloved hand raised in the air.

“Hurry,” came Kylo’s modulated voice as he rushed towards her, “before the rest find us.”

Her eyes were glued to the men on the floor in disbelief. “Did you just…?”

“No,” he huffed impatiently, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards a nearby door. “I didn’t kill them. Just knocked them out. Now let’s go!”

The sound of heavy footsteps alerted them of the approaching guards before they rounded the corner, advancing down the hallway. Kylo waived a hand before the door before they could be spotted, the lock clicking before it opened and he held her hand firmly in his, rushing into the room as she dragged behind. The room was small, however an open window on the other side caught her attention.

“Do you trust me?”

She turned to him, eyebrows knitted together. Before she could respond, he hurled them towards the open window, shoving her before him into the open sky. 

She screamed, squeezing her eyes shut as she fell through the air, trying her best to remember the number of floors they were from the ground below- _46? 56?_ The breath was stolen from her lungs, arms and legs flailing and searching for something, _anything_ solid- 

Then suddenly, almost as abruptly as she had been flung into the sky, did she feel a solid surface slam beneath her feet, her knees buckling as she found herself sitting on the plush seat of a speeder. Her eyes popped open as her body jerked back against the seat, the speeder rushing forward with Kylo in the driver’s seat.

____________ 

The first thing she wanted to do was peel off that stupid armor. It took much longer than expected, much longer than it had the first time due to the amount of sweat sticking the fabric to her skin. 

The second thing she wanted to do was take a long, hot bath, soaking in each and every soap they had available underneath the sink in her hotel refresher. She slammed the door behind her, locking BB-8 out so as to avoid his nagging beeps of concern. She had some minor cuts and bruises from the day’s events, nothing new, nothing that a long soak in some relaxing water couldn’t help. And so she stayed for what seemed like hours, allowing her mind to wander.

He didn’t kill them… He couldn’t. 

_It wasn’t just for me,_ she knew. _It’s the light, his light. It’s growing stronger._

She could still sense his darkness, the constant pull, but she knew there had been a change. The revelation in that moment, still inside the mansion as he pulled her to the window, had been enough to send shockwaves through her, a brief reflection of the man hidden so well within. Whether Kylo knew of this change within himself she was unsure, his stupid mask doing a very good job at hiding all emotion as they rode back to the hotel. He had explained to her how he used his powers to slip Maliste unconscious before rushing to her side, making sure the man would not know of Kylo’s deceit by the time he awoke and ensuring the cartel would not tie him to the unknown thief who stole the Jedi artifact from the vault. To say she was impressed and shocked by this reveal would have been an understatement.

After a time, the water in the tub turned cold, sending chills through her before she rose from the bath, drying off quickly with a towel and wrapping a silk robe around her body. She felt much calmer as she shuffled back into her room, plopping herself onto the bed and letting the soft pillows and comforter surround her, cushioning her body as she drifted in and out of sleep- the third thing she wanted to do.

Until there was a knock at her door. 

She sat up suddenly, rubbing at her eyes and blinking several times. The room had grown dark aside from the twinkling lights of the city outside her window, the light of day long gone. Stretching luxuriously, the muscles of her limbs and torso rippling blissfully from the movement, she rolled clumsily from the bed and began stepping towards the door, BB-8 rolling by her side. 

As she approached, she wasn’t quite sure what she had expected- possibly Kylo standing there, ready to search through their recovered holobook and devise their next course of action. Possibly even room service offering a meal that she knew she had forgotten to order, her stomach rumbling from the thought. But as she opened the door, she knew what she found was definitely not what she had expected.

Lying on the floor just outside her door in the empty hallway was a neat little package, white against the shiny floor. She picked it up and noticed the small handwritten note tied to the top with thin twine, the scrawled letters reading:

_I thought you could use these._

Curiosity got the better of her as she tugged off the twine, quickly pulling open the lid to the small box as she clutched it to her chest. Inside she found a thin wax paper with a printed logo- _Wookie’s Cookies_. She peeled back the paper, licking her lips as she discovered the pile of delicate confections she found beneath, a rainbow of colors- the exact cookies she had been considering from the night before.

BB-8 beeped proudly at her side, observing her reaction.

“He did what?”

The droid beeped again loudly, rolling its head to the side.

“He came in while I was sleeping and asked you which ones I wanted?”

She nearly dropped the box, mind reeling as she scrambling to grab the cookies just in time. Spinning around, she placed the box on her bed and hurled towards the door, _their door_ , the door connecting their rooms. Hesitating, her hand rested on the handle.

What a crossroads she found herself in- she knew if she went to him now there would be no going back, no more pretending, no more masks to wear. This strange energy that had transpired between them would take control and they could never be what they used to be, could never fully return to their opposite ends of their war.

She took one last deep breath, nostrils flaring in anticipation, and turned the handle, finding the door left unlocked. It opened slowly as she pulled it back, and her heart leapt to her throat.

Kylo stood just on the other side, his hand outstretched as if he were about to do the same.

They stared at one another, eyes locked, saying so much through the silence. He stood shirtless, pants a loose material for sleeping, his hair slightly damp and sticking across is forehead. The scar along his face was dark and trailed down across his pale skin, the beauty marks a splatter of perfection and she wanted to touch and count each one lining his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. She watched as his eyes pooled, a deep warmth, as he searched her face, unwavering. His hand was still extended, hanging frozen in place, his only movement from the slight tremble of his fingers. There was an electricity in the air, a static that made her every pore stand on end.

Slowly she let go of the handle, stepping forward and touching her hand to his, lifting his long fingers and wrapping them between her own. His touch was warm, a heat beneath his skin and the moment they touched she could feel it- the deep ache, the emptiness. _Their_ void, beginning to flood closed.

Her feet shuffled forward as she moved closer under the trance of his stare. He was so tall. She always knew he was tall, but it was something about the way she had to tilt her head upwards and the way his soft breath brushed against her face that made her realize how much he towered over her.

His teeth grazed his bottom lip momentarily, words hesitating on his tongue.

“I can never be who you want me to be.”

Reaching out her free hand, she gently rested it against his face, tracing the lengths of his scar, feeling the ridges that lined his soft skin. It was _her_ scar. She was the one to break his mask, the moment their fate had changed.

“You are so wrong, Kylo Ren. You’re exactly who you need to be." Although her heart was beating rapidly, her voice was a calm whisper. 

His eyes fluttered closed against her touch. “You called me Ben, in the dream.” Slowly his eyes opened, surveying her for a moment. "You know I can't be him."

“And you don't have to be,” she said with a shake of her head.

He turned away, casting his eyes to the floor without a response, but she could see the turmoil cross his features.

“You’re so blind,” she continued as she tugged his face back towards her, tilting her head to catch his gaze. She wanted him to feel her sincerity, wished her fingertips could blaze against his skin and force him to feel how much his family needed him, how much _she_ needed him. She settled with sending these messages, scattering them across their bond. “You don’t have to fight this battle alone, Kylo. Not anymore.”

He froze, tense beneath her touch, the muscles of his jaw working as they stood mere inches away. She was unsure if he heard her, unsure if he was reading their bond. Although he held his firm barrier against her side of the bond she could tell the thoughts were racing in his head.

Then, for just a brief moment, his eyes betrayed his silence, flickering beneath her gaze as they traveled lower and lower before returning to her face. There was a hunger behind his stare, a need that made her shiver.

There was a shift in the air, a change in the way he breathed, his shoulders squaring as one of the warring sides of his mind took control. He let go of his barrier, his wafting emotions swirling around her like delicate smoke and she felt intoxicated.

“Do you know what I’ve been thinking about all day today?”

Her breaths came shallow as she shook her head lightly in response, trying her best not to completely falter beneath his gaze. 

“The way that armor clung to each of your curves,” his soft voice came, barely above a whisper, as he began to trail the back of his fingers along the front of her robe, tingling lightly as they brushed first against the silk of her thigh, up and over her hip, towards the small of her waist. “…and what they look like beneath.”

Slowly he moved forward, pushing her back until she rested against the wall behind, the open door swinging shut with a nudge of his foot before BB-8 could follow inside in protest. 

She gasped as his hard body pressed against hers, raising her hands to rest flat against his chest. The fingers of his large hands snaked around her torso, shrinking her beneath his urgent grip.

As his lips drew closer, lingering against her own, he whispered, “Are you real this time? I don’t think I could take this being a dream again.”

A smile tore across her face and she suppressed a sighing laugh.

“Yes.”

In that moment his soft lips collided with her own, desperate, hungry, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders to steady herself against his crashing wave. 

In that moment, Kylo Ren could have devoured her. And she would have let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, unnecessary warning BUT: NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SMUT.
> 
> FINALLY.
> 
> I tried to write this chapter so the next could be skipped over if smut is not your cup of tea. So fair warning ahead of time.
> 
> Also, this chapter had lots of alternating POVs but I tried to make each scene have a purpose. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Also also: totally curious to see what Kylo would do if Rey force-teased him with her sexy armor, or like teased him in anything to be honest. Especially if he were awkwardly stuck in public in that moment. Please direct me to those fics if they exist.


	14. Storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand the tension is resolved.
> 
> Somehow this chapter that was supposed to be a short scene turned into almost 3,000 words.
> 
> And it is trash. And I am trash. Stop now and save yourself.

Her skin was burning, the sparks of their fire tickling against her nerves as his lips searched hers, every little sigh and gasp for breath she emitted seemed to spur him on even further. He was desperate, hungry, and she wanted to lick at the flames he was igniting.

Strong arms snaked around her thighs, lifting her up and pinning her against the wall. His lips pulled away from her own and found her ear, hot breath sending a ripple of shivers through her as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. He sent billowy kisses along the skin of her neck and she gulped for air, frantically trying to catching her breath. She grabbed at his shoulders as she held herself against him, her breasts under her robe squished beneath his solid chest. The energy between them was buzzing with charge, pushing and pulling, a magnetic force that took control of their bodies.

He reached the base of her neck, drinking in her scent as he in breathed deeply. Suddenly he relieved the pressure of his body against her, allowing her legs to slide back down to the ground, his massive shoulders hunched as he rested his forehead just above her collarbone. She took the chance to gather her thoughts, her mind swirling, intoxicated by his burning touch.

She wanted someone to tell her this was wrong. _Needed_ for someone to walk in, tie her hands and stop her from going further. 

He let go of her, stepping backwards with his hands held out before him as if he had destroyed something so delicate. His eyes searched hers as she leaned against the wall for support, heart pounding. She watched as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his hair in wild tangles, thick strands still wet from the refresher and sticking to his forehead. She wanted to know what he smelled like, realizing she hadn’t had the chance moments ago when he had held her so close. 

He turned his gaze back to her, brown eyes so feral, betraying his reserve.

“If you let me start, Rey, I won’t be able to stop.” His voice was a deep rumble, a familiar rough edge she had heard from him only when he was angry or fighting. This time, however, his voice was strained with a different kind of battle.

She bit her lip as she took in the sight of him- raw, unhinged power radiating through the air. His face was shadowed beneath the curtain of dark locks and she wanted so desperately to see his expression, to hear his thoughts he kept held tightly from her. Pulling, tugging against the bond, she teased him, begging him to come closer. 

Her hands may have been tied, but they weren’t tied tight enough.

It was a pull of the slingshot, a pure force of energy that sent her stalking towards him so fast, pummeling into his tall frame as she knocked him backwards and slammed into the bed behind him. Stunned, he instantly reached out to steady her as she fell into him, fingers gripping into the slick fabric of her robe and the soft flesh of her waist beneath. 

She leaned down to his ear, whispering with hot breath. “I don’t want you to stop.”

She gripped the side of his ear, gently scraping it against her teeth as he swallowed deeply, pursing his lips. Once she pulled away she could see his hunger, the way he clenched his jaw and twisted her robe into his fists. 

Suddenly she felt their bodies slide back further onto the bed, Kylo’s hand outstretched until his back was flush against the pillows, bracing as he found a sitting position. She gasped, realizing he had used the Force to move them, her legs now straddling his hips, spread open against him. 

He gave her one last glance, hesitating, waiting for her permission and she collided her lips again with his own.

Warm fingers gripped the front of her rope, tearing it open and exposing her breasts to the cold air of the room, her rosy nipples perking instantly. Hooking an arm around her back, he pulled her close, deepening their kiss as his free hand roamed her free breasts, massaging and pinching and causing her to moan into his mouth. She tangled her fingers into his damp hair, reveling in the gain of height she had on him in this position. He was always so tall, hovering just out of her grasp. She pulled away from his kiss to take in the view from the glorious angle, her fingers tracing lines between the freckles lining his jaw and neck, her lips tenderly caressing the scar that she had left him with, the crack of his mask that traveled down to his chest. 

He snaked a hand beneath her chin, lifting her back up and pulling her to him as he took one of her breasts into his mouth. She could feel the swirl of his tongue, a sweet sensation sending signals that trickled down, a warmth building in her core as she arched her back to him. Writhing in his grasp, she felt his lips twist into a smile against her skin. He let go suddenly, wrapping his arms around her as he tossed and rolled her to the side, pinning her beneath his weight against the mattress. She reached out a hand, tucking one of his dangling locks behind his ear.

His hands skimmed down the front of her torso, lingering on the thin fabric of her panties before tugging them down. A pink rose to her cheeks as she lifted her legs, allowing him to pull them fully off, his fingers trailing up her calves and along the front of her thighs as he lowered himself back onto her. With each movement of his skin against her own he searched her face, waiting as though at any moment she would push him away. She tugged harder on their bond, trying so hard to break his barrier so she could show him how much she needed him, force him to understand that he was wanted. 

“Let go.” Her hands rested along both sides of his face as she challenged his gaze. She could feel his reserve begin to falter. “I want you, Kylo.”

He rested his lips against her cheek as he listened, his breath hot against her skin. There was a fracture along his barrier, a light beginning to shine through. Though it flickered weakly, she could see it, could _feel_ it, evidence that he was there on the other side. Her evidence that Kylo Ren could let go.

And he did.

_I want all of you._

It was the last push he needed, dancing on the edge of temptation, and he fell along with her.

She felt a tickle of his skin, fingertips flickering further and further, closer to the center of her burning desire. He rubbed slowly, circling, tempting and she could feel his eyes on her as she bit her lip, sucking in the air so suddenly. He was there, in their bond, pushing against her energy as his fingers began to push within her, slick and wet, finding just the spot that only she had ever touched.

“I’ve always wanted to know…”

His voice was so heavy, that sweet baritone in sync with the music he was creating within her as his hand moved.

“I wanted to know what you looked like when I would touch you there.”

Her toes curled and her knees bent, breath now panting as she twisted beneath him. 

“I want to know everything about you. I want to _taste_ you.”

She cursed as his tongue replaced his hand- flickering back and forth as she pulled desperately at the bed sheets. All at once she was beginning to rise, the heat, and she could feel the build from within. She wanted to claw his shoulders and she did, her nails dragging across what she could reach of him. Her pleasure was mounting with each sensation, his tongue and fingers pulling the strings to make her body dance.

She wanted him to feel the same pleasure she was feeling, wanted to know what he tasted like, too.

For a moment she closed her knees against his head, squeezing playfully to gain his attention. He paused to look at her and, using her foot, she pushed him backwards onto the bed until he rested on his elbows. Sitting up, she discarded the robe completely and crawled slowly towards him.

“My turn.”

Grabbing at the waste band of his loose pants, she could see the evidence of his attraction, hard and ready for her attention. There was a surge of anticipation from him across the bond, his mounting desire apparent from his hooded eyes that watched her every movement. She felt exhilarated, powerful to have such a brutal force of a man be so malleable from her influence. With a lick of her lips she tugged roughly, pulling until the pants were discarded on the floor, the sound of his cock slapping lightly back against his abdomen. 

She sat back to fully take in the masterpiece- he was a statue, a carving of stone so strong and so perfect. Placing her hands along his chest, she let them trace downward along the ripple of his muscles, the dip of each valley, each crevice, each surprising scar or freckle that needed to be touched, needed her devotion. He sighed heavily from her ghostly touch, grabbing a pillow to cover his face as her fingers and mouth found his cock, waiting and throbbing, so needy for her touch. She could hear his muffled groan as she placed a hand around the base, lifting the long growth that filled her hand and licking along the sides with her wet tongue. Through their bond she could see flashes of images from his mind as he lost control, of his many lonely nights aching for the touch of a lover. 

As she took his entire solid length into her mouth she could hear his heady breath beneath the pillow. She reached out her hand, grasping the pillow with the Force and throwing it across the room. He sat up, shocked not only by the unexpected use of her powers but also from the sight of her, lips growing red and cushioned around his slick hardness, eyes locking in a battle of who would turn away first. After a moment she felt his hand in her hair, lightly tugging her away from him as she let go, the sound of a soft plop as he fell from the pressure of her mouth. 

The brown of his eyes flashed, thick and challenging as he sat back against the pillows. He said nothing but she knew what he wanted, could see his projection of images he had fantasized many times since their first meeting, since the first time he had her squirming from his touch, though under different circumstances. His thoughts of her riding him, bouncing just for him burned in her mind. 

She felt her cheeks flushing as she began to crawl on top of him. Their hunger for one another swirled together as he held himself for her, slowly lowering her body down until she completely sheathed his full length. Eyes locked, they both shuddered from their shared sensation- a fullness, a tight binding, a feeling of belonging and overwhelming need for more, for satiation. 

He gripped her hips beneath his tight grasp, guiding as she began to slowly to move up and down, the friction from his wide girth eliciting a heavy sigh. She wanted this moment to last but felt a building pressure as she started to move faster, her body so wet and ready for him, _all_ of him. She wanted to consume him completely.

His lips found her breasts, beginning to bounce in his face as he took a nipple, swirling it with his tongue and sending a sweet tingle of sensations that spurred her even faster, now rocking her hips as she ground against him. Sweat began to bead along her forehead as she leaned forward against him, allowing his hips to move upwards and crash into hers above.

She could see the clouded haze of his mind, the chaotic flashes of every position he wanted to put her in, how he wanted to try everything with her, wanted to fill her until she burst. He was so raw, baring his need for her so plainly and without reserve that she almost came undone in that moment. Suddenly he pulled from her, rolling her once more until he hovered above.

Together they were a flurry of unified power, their movements so in sync, so swift just as they had been in battle, their sabers crashing together in the snowy night. She had been the wind crashing against his rain, carrying him through their brewing storm, a brutal force of nature as they collided. They were finding the balance between their chaos and their calm. They wanted the moment to last forever.

He started slow, allowing her body to fully take him in from the angle.

She murmured his name, whimpering for him to move faster. “Please.”

He quickened the pace, grasping one of her thighs and tossing it over his shoulder as he crashed on top of her, folding her leg beneath his colliding hips. His body found each of her buttons, rubbing and caressing with each stroke. She reached desperately, curling beneath him as she clawed his back and pulled at his hair. She could feel the twist of his smile as he sensed her need for release, her mounting orgasm beginning to swell.

“Finish for me, Rey,” he whispered sweetly into her ear. “Let me feel you crash around me.”

And so she did, his words pushing her over the teetering edge. The muscles of her body tensed suddenly, the waves of pleasure rippling so slowly starting from her center, a drip of water cascading across to her shore. She cried out from beneath him, grasping his round arms, feeling the hard muscles as he pounded into her, catching his own release. He pulled suddenly from her, grasping his cock in his hand as the evidence of his pleasure released onto her flat stomach. She reached out to help him, tugging lightly as he let go and hovered above her, elbows on either side of her head, shuddering into her touch until he finally stilled.

He leaned forward and rested his lips against her forehead, casting several small kisses along the side of her face. She smiled, sighing weakly, her body limp and content. Pushing himself up, he leaned back to take a look at the handiwork he left on her stomach, grinning in satisfaction. Seeing the look of such bliss on his face sent her into her own euphoria.

Once he stepped away from the bed, returning with a towel to clean his mess, he tugged the thick, plush blankets above their calming bodies. She stretched luxuriously, scooting until her back was placed against him, her eyes held heavily closed. His long arms snaked around her, pulling her closer, pushing her hair above her into the pillow so he could burrow himself into the side of her neck.

She had no idea what repercussions there were for their actions, no care in the world for the storm they may have created. In that moment she had found perfection, a balance. Their powers were a mirror, he was her reflection, her home.

As sleep began to cloud her mind, a drifting realization came to her, an answer to a question she had always wondered- he smelled of an earthy musk, thick and sensual, and she wanted to drown in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much to those who have left kudos and comments- I've read all of your wonderful words. You've encouraged me to keep going, even when I think I'm crazy for doing all of this.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. As always, let me know what you think!


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